Friday humour - May 12, 2017

[from Steve @ Bluehaze]

Another step by The Donald taking the US closer to an authoritarian state.
The sacking of the FBI director is a very concerning move, for a bunch of
reasons. Here's hoping the innate belief in the political checks and
balances that keep the US Governances safe from overthrow is not too firmly
embedded in their belief system.

Here follows another collection courtesy of our many contributors. Enjoy!

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Watch Trained Cats Performing Amazing Tricks
 Click here

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The Candy With the  Little  Hole

This should make you smile

You  have to love little kids.

The children began to identify the  flavors by their color:
Red....................Cherry
Yellow................Lemon
Green..................Lime
Orange  ..............Orange

Finally the teacher gave them  all HONEY lifesavers. None of  the children
could identify the taste.

The teacher said, 'I will give you  all a clue. It's what your mother may
sometimes call your father.'

One little girl looked up in horror,  spit her lifesaver out and yelled,
'Oh my God! They're ass-holes!

The teacher had to leave  the  room!

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Hot and Cold S*x

After his exam the doctor asked the elderly man: "You appear to be in good
health. Do you have any medical concerns you would like to ask me about?"

"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have s*x with my wife, I am
usually cold and chilly, and then, after I have s*x with her the second
time, I am usually hot and sweaty."

Later, after examining the man's elderly wife, the doctor said: "Everything
appears To be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to
discuss with me?"
She replied that she had no questions or concerns.

The doctor then said to her: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He
claims that he is usually cold and chilly after having s*x with you the
first time, and then hot and sweaty after the second time. Do you know
why?"*

"Oh that crazy old fart," she replied.
"That's because the first time is usually in January and the second time is
in August."

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Heinz Commercial
 Click here

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Fw: A Little Senile
 Click here

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Maggie May
 Click here

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She's Ready!!

A State Trooper pulled an 87-year-old woman over for speeding.

As he looked at her driver's license he was surprised to notice that
attached to it was a conceal weapon permit.

Taken aback, he couldn't help but ask, “Do you have a gun in your
possession?�

She replied in her crackly voice, “Indeed, I do. Why I have a 45
automatic in the glove box.�

The trooper then asked if she had any other weapons.

She replied, “I have a 9 mm Glock in the center console.�

The shocked trooper asked, “Is that all the weapons you are
transporting?�

The little old lady held up her purse and replied, "Well, I do keep a 38
special in my purse.�

Finally, the astonished trooper asked, "What are you afraid of?�

And the little old lady smiled and replied: "Not a Damn Thing."

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Fw: Very Cute Joke
 Click here

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Albino Animals
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McDonald's Frork
 Click here

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The Rhino
 Click here Click here
Greek-American inventor Elie Aghnides amassed a fortune coming up with
clever inventions.  In 1954, one of his more unusual creations was the
"Rhino," an amphibious four-wheeled vehicle, designed to patrol and defend
the vast road-less wastes of Alaska and Canada.  Weighing in at five tons,
the four-wheel-drive machine could hit speeds of 45 miles per hour on the
highway.  Defining features were it's massive front wheels, which had
six-foot diameters, and weighed 1,500 pounds each. Their hollow,
hemispherical shape gave the Rhino it's unique all-terrain capability. As
the vehicle sank into mud, sand, or other soft surfaces, the bearing
surface of the ribbed wheels increased, giving it greater traction.  The
Rhino's massive wheels and low centre of gravity, also meant it could tip
75 degrees to either side, without toppling over. In the water, the hollow
wheels provided flotation, while a rear water jet provided propulsion, at
speeds of about four miles per hour. The Marmon-Herrington Company of
Indianapolis built one prototype of the Rhino for demonstration. The United
States military declined to purchase any, reportedly out of concern, that
the wheels could be punctured by gunfire, sinking the vehicle.

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Breast Implants Made in China
 Click here

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 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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      Ah-the-eah the-eah That's All (for this week) Folks!


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