Friday humour - April 07, 2017

 From Burnout @ Bluehaze:

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From: Burnout

A rich man and a poor man have the same wedding anniversary and every year
they meet down on Bourke Street to go shopping for their wives. The poor
man asks the rich man, "what'd you get for your wife this year?"

The rich man says, "I got her a huge diamond ring, and a brand new
Mercedes." The poor man asks, "what'd you get her both for?" The rich man
says, "well, if she doesn't like the ring, she can bring it back in the
Mercedes and still be happy."

The rich man asks the poor man, "what'd you get for your wife?" The poor
man says, "a pair of slippers and a d*ldo." The rich man scoffs and asks,
"what'd you get her a pair of slippers and a d*ldo for?"

"If she doesn't like the slippers, she can go f*ck herself."

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From: Sack
Subject:   That's a moron..........

Watch pass the final credits please

Good song, well applied here
 Click here

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From: Sack
Subject:  Aussie humour at its best

The Australian Tax Office actually commented on this one. The importance of
accuracy in your tax return

The ATO has returned the Tax Return to a man in Townsville after he
apparently answered one of the questions.

In response to the question, "Do you have anyone dependent on you ?"

The man wrote: "2.1 million illegal immigrants, 1.1 million crackheads, 4.4
million unemployable scroungers, 80,000 criminals in over 85 prisons, plus
450 idiots in Parliament, thousands of 'retired politicians' and an entire
group that call themselves 'Senators'

The ATO stated that the response he gave was "unacceptable".

The man's response back to ATO was, "Who did I leave out?"

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Time: 20170331095437
From: Sack
Subject:   Truths, a 38 second read

                          GREAT TRUTHS

1. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man  is a
shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress.
       -- John Adams

2. If you don't read the newspaper you are uninformed, if you do  read the
newspaper you are  misinformed.

  -- Mark Twain

3. Suppose you were an idiot. And   suppose you were a member of  
Congress.
But then I repeat   myself.

  -- Mark Twain

  4. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is
like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the
handle.

  --Winston Churchill

5. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the
support of Paul.

  -- George Bernard Shaw

6. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which
debt he proposes to pay off with your money.
-- G. Gordon Liddy

7. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys
to teenage boys.
  -- P.J. O'Rourke, Civil Libertarian

  8. Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short
phrases:
If it   moves, tax it.
If it keeps   moving, regulate it.
And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

  --Ronald Reagan (1986)

9. I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.

  -- Will Rogers

10. If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it
costs when it's free!

  -- P. J. O'Rourke

11. No man's life, liberty, or property is safe while the legislature is in
session.

  -- Mark Twain (1866)

12. Talk is cheap, except when Congress does it.
  -- Anonymous

13. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the
blessings.
The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery.

  --  Winston Churchill

14. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the
taxidermist leaves the skin.
  --  Mark Twain

15. There is no distinctly Native American criminal class, save Congress.

  -- Mark Twain

16. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians.

  --Edward Langley, Artist (1928-1995)

17. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong
enough to take everything   you have.

  -- Thomas Jefferson

  FIVE BEST SENTENCES

1. You cannot legislate the poor into prosperity, by legislating the
wealthy out of prosperity.

2. What one person receives without working for, another person must work
for without receiving.

3. The government cannot give to anybody anything that the government does
not first take from somebody else.

4. You cannot multiply wealth by dividing it.

5. When half of the people get the idea that they do not have to work,
because the other half is going to take care of them, and when the other
half gets the idea that it does no good to work, because somebody else is
going to get what they work for, that is the beginning of the end of any
nation!

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From: Seasoldier
Subject: Conversation: Hotel Guest and Front Desk

A hotel guest calls the front desk & the clerk answers, "May I help you?"
The woman says, "Yes, I'm in room 858.  You need to send someone to my room
immediately. I'm having an argument with my husband and he says he's going
to jump out the window."
The desk clerk says, "I'm sorry ma'am, but that's a personal matter."
The woman replies, "Listen you idiot.  The window won't open, that's a
maintenance matter."


Subject: Fw:Leatherneck tells it like it is

     NOW HEAR THIS YOU POLITICAL CORRECTNESS IDIOTS!

     The Will to Win

If you are not willing to be unreasonable and brutal, as your enemy,
don’t engage him in conflict -- because he will win. This old leatherneck
says it better.

Quote from a WWII veteran overhearing someone say that `You can't bomb an
ideology.

"The hell you can't, because we did it. These Muslims are no different than
the [Imperial] Japanese.

The Japanese had their suicide bombers too. And we stopped them. What it
takes is the resolve and will to use a level of brutality and violence that
your generations can't stomach.

And until you can, this sh*t won't stop. It took us on the beaches with
bullets, clearing out caves with flame throwers, and men like Le May
burning down their cities, killing people by the tens of thousands. And
then it took 2 atom bombs on top of it.  Plus we had to bomb the sh*t out
of German cities to get them to quit fighting.

But, if that was what it took to win, we were willing to do it. Until you
are willing to do the same...well I hope you enjoy this sh*t, because it
ain't going to stop!"

Back then, we had leadership, resolve, resources and determination.

Today we're afraid to hurt people's feelings....and worry about which
bathroom to p*ss in!!!”

Subject: THE BOTTLE OF WINE

For all of us who  are married, were married, wish you were married, or
wish you  weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time
you see a bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her  business trips in Northern  Arizona
when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the  trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the
Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey,  Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with
the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently  at
everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown
bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag  and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got
it for my  husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with
the quiet wisdom of an elder, she  said:

'Good trade.....'

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From: Whizzbang
Subject:  3D STREET TRANSFORMATIONS 

Absolutely incredible after and before pictures of buildings that have been
painted!! * *Better than the sidewalk chalk art! 15 Incredible Before &
After Street Art Transformations That Are Simply Stunning For those
individuals among us who possess a talent for art, opportunities to create
something beautiful can be found all around us. Everywhere you look, there
are empty walls that are just crying out to become something more
beautiful, if only someone would take the time. Thankfully, there are
plenty of incredibly talented street artists out there who are doing just
that, turning drab public spaces into explosions of color and creativity.
Check out the gallery below to see some truly incredible transformations.

1. "Knowledge Speaks - Wisdom Listens," Athens, Greece
 Click here
             /Wild Drawing
 Click here
 Click here

2. "Juliette Et Les Esprits," Montpellier, France
 Click here
  /Patrick Commecy
 Click here Click here

3. 3D Mural In Poznan, Poland
 Click here
             /Waldemar Wylegalski
 Click here Click here

4. "Renaissance," Le Puy en Velay, France
 Click here
             /Patrick Commecy
 Click here Click here

5. Giant Starling Mural In Berlin, Germany
 Click here
             /Nika Kramer
 Click here Click here

6. "Au Fil De Loire," Brives Charensac, France
 Click here
             /Patrick Commecy
 Click here Click here

7. Photorealistic Mural, Glasgow, Scotland
 Click here
             //Smug Click here

8. An Entire Town Was Painted Over In Palmitas, Mexico
 Click here
             /Germen Crew
 Click here Click here

9. Full Moon Hostel, Bristol, UK
 Click here
             //Paul Green Click here

10. "Topart," Budapest, Hungary
 Click here
             //Neopaint Click here

11. Tiled Steps On 16th Avenue, San Francisco, California
 Click here
             /tiledsteps
 Click here Click here

12. Diving Dog Mural, Mechelen, Belgium
 Click here
             /Bart Smeets
 Click here Click here

13. "Porte Des Lavandières," Aurec Sur Loire, France
 Click here
             /Patrick Commecy
 Click here Click here

14. Racoon Mural Made Of Trash And Found Objects, Lisbon, Portugal
 Click here
             Click here
 Click here

15. "Let's Keep The Plants Alive," Bialystok, Poland
 Click here

Be sure to SHARE this incredible art with your family and friends.

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From: Whizzbang
Subject: THE WHALES

A male whale and a female whale were swimming off the coast of Japan when
they noticed a whaling ship.
The male whale recognized it as the same ship that had harpooned his father
many years earlier.
He said to the female whale, "Lets both swim under the ship and blow out of
our air holes at the same time and it should cause the ship to turn over
and sink."
They tried it and sure enough, the ship turned over and quickly sank.

Soon however, the whales realized the sailors had jumped overboard and were
swimming to the safety of shore.
The male was enraged that they were going to get away and told the female,
"Let's swim after them and gobble them up before they reach the shore."

At this point, he realized the female was becoming reluctant to follow him,
“Look,” she said, "I went along with the bl*w job, but I absolutely
refuse to swallow the seamen."

Subject: Keys

Be on your guard ... Australian police have just issued a warning about
keys.
They warn that just 5 keys that can open 87% of cars and 99% of houses in
Australia.
The keys you need to be on the lookout for are:

Dar-keys, Pak-keys, Bi-keys, Jun-keys and Key-WI's.

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From: Anonymous3
Subject: Canada
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 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Burnout (XXX-ED)
Subject: The Menu
 Click here

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From: KRP
Subject: White Line Fever
 Click here

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From: Sack
Subject: BELIEVE It or NOT. . .
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 Click here Click here

       Very interesting stuff.

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From: Seasoldier
Subject: Teachers.....can be picky
 Click here

Subject: TODAY'S SCIENCE LESSON...
 Click here

Last week a friend and I were walking through the Pro shop at a golf course
when he touched the door knob and got shocked by static electricity. He
turns to me and says,

"Damn, I wish someone would explain that damn static electricity to me."

So I did and here is my explanation, especially for my non-engineering
friends.

Static electricity is an imbalance of electric charges within or on the
surface of a material.

The charge remains until it is able to move away by means of an electric
current or electrical discharge.

For modelling the effect of static discharge on sensitive electronic
devices, a human being is represented as a capacitor of 100 microfarads,
charged to a voltage of 4,000 to 35,000 volts.

When touching an object this energy is discharged in less than a
microsecond:

Are you still having a little trouble understanding this?  If so, the next
photo may help.

Scroll  down..
 Click here

     Now, that’s static electricity!

     I hope this helps!

Subject: Fw: Aircraft Engineering Quiz
 Click here Click here Click here

Clever as you might be, I’ll be surprised if you actually get this right
but you will get it once you see the answer.

They say it is common sense but here is a Clue: Just remember that a
helicopter's blade (in cross-section) is shaped like an airplane's wing,
and both catch air giving lift.
Now answer the question: This should be an easy quiz for those who have
even a modic*m of knowledge about aircraft.  However, the answer may
surprise you.

The Question:

"What is the primary advantage of rotary winged aircraft over fixed-winged
aircraft?"
 Click here
                         I got it wrong, too!

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From: Wally
Subject: Inventions For People With Cold Hands
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 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Inventions For People With Cold Hands

1
Infrared Keyboard Heat Lamp

Cold hands are apparently a big problem for professional gamers and office
workers, so some young Danish entrepreneurs set out to find an efficient
hand-warming solution. This ingenious keyboard heat lamp is the result of
their hard work and research.

In May 2016, Emil Frølund and Mats Sørensen were playing Counter
Strike in Emil's basement. They were getting ‘owned’ by their
opponents, and like any real gamer, they had all sorts of excuses, bad
teammates, a slow internet connection, and cold hands. While they couldn't
do very much about the first two, the last one was not out of
their...hands. That night, the Heatbuff keyboard lamp was born.

You may wonder who would pay money for a lamp that keeps their fingers warm
as they type. It turns out a lot of people would. The Envavo Heatbuff has
surpassed its Kickstarter goal, and its creators say they have been
contacted by companies interested in their product. So yeah, this thing
could be big. (Source)

2
F-Unicorn Gloves

Ravelry contributor Natalie Bursztyn brings us a free tutorial on how to
make your very own pair of F-Unicorn Gloves. All you need is some gloves,
yarn, and a needle now, say "F- You!" (Source)

3
Knit Beer Mitts

Whether you're tailgating the game, out on the ice or slopes, or just
throwing snowballs at the neighborhood kids, it's important to keep your
liver toasty with a cold brew. (Don't think about it. Trust us; it makes
sense.) Kill two beers—we mean, birds”with one stone with a beer
mitt designed to keep your beverage cold and your hands warm. Wear just one
and you'll have a hand free to roll snowballs, or wear two and give us a
call to join the party.
(Source)

4
Rechargeable Hand Warmer

Yep, it's exactly what it sounds like, folks! Keep this simple,
rechargeable hand warmer on hand on a cold winter's day! (Buy it Here)

5
Tahka Gloves With Smartphone Window

For all the great ideas, inventions, and gadgets that have come out of
Kickstarter, there are bound to be some terrible ones as well. Take for
instance the Tahka, which is a pair of connected gloves that have a window
between them so that you can play on your phone while in the cold. If ever
it were mass marketed, it would most likely mean the demise of society.
(Source)

6
Toasty Mug

Start your day with this ToastyMUG by SABRINA FOSSI. It will warm your
hands as you sip coffee or tea. (Source)

7
Smoko Toast USB Wired Hand Warmers

These cute little guys come from the same company that makes Smoko foot
warmers, pillows, speakers, and more. Simply plug them into your USB port,
and you'll feel the warmth almost immediately. Meanwhile, your fingers are
still free to move. (Buy it Here)

8 Smittens

Smittens are the brainchild of Wendy Feller, who came up with the idea in
2009 while out on a brisk walk with her husband. Instead of holding hands
through regular mittens, a set of Smittens includes one pair of regular
size mittens and one oversized mitten for hand-holding. They can be found
and purchased online. (Source)

9
Coldfingers Mitten Ice Tongs

You obviously don't want to get cold fingers grabbing a block of ice for
your next tasty c*cktail, so why would you subject your poor tongs to
chilling temps? Sure, we have a tendency to anthropomorphize, but just in
case they do have feelings, you could rock those tongs with Chilly
Willy-styled mittens before they catch a cold! What a cool way to handle
your ice. (Don't worry—they are very hygienic and made out of
silicone). (Buy it Here)

10
Bluetooth Glove Headset

This glove with Bluetooth technology allows you to get and make phone calls
while keeping your hands covered. (Buy it Here)

Subject: Animal Love
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Subject: Underground Parking in China
 Click here

Subject: Can Your Car do This?
 Click here

Subject: The Rope Test (XXX-ED)
 Click here

This rope test was designed to help older men stay mentally fit. It’s a
simple counting game, just count the number of turns the rope make. I
stopped at 2,417 because dinner was ready.
 Click here

Subject: Children Who Were Raised By Animals
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

Children Who Were Raised By Animals

   1
   Marcos Rodríguez Pantoja, the Spanish boy adopted by wolves

   Marcos Rodríguez Pantoja was just seven when he was sold to a
hermitic goatherder. After the goatherder's death, he lived alone with
wolves in the Sierra Morena for eleven years. He claims to have survived
after being adopted and fed by them. At 19, he was found by the Guardia
Civil, and taken by force to the small village of Fuencaliente where he was
eventually civilized and now lives a normal life. A movie and a doc*mentary
have been made about his amazing survival story, and he now gives lectures
to kids on schools to teach them about wolves. (Source 1 | Source 2)

   2
   Oxana Malaya, lived with dogs for 6 years

   Ukrainian Oxana Malaya was found living with dogs in a kennel in 1991.
By the time she was eight, she had lived with them for six years. Oxana's
parents were alcoholics, and when she was a toddler, they left her outside.
She crawled into the farm kennel seeking warmth and curled up with the
dogs, an act that probably saved her life. She soon ran on all fours,
panted with her tongue out, bared her teeth and barked. Because of her lack
of human interaction, she only knew the words "yes" and "no." Oxana now
lives in a clinic in Odessa, working with the hospital's farm
animals.(Source 1 | Source 2)

   3
   Ivan Mishukov, survived two winters guarded by dogs

   Some say four-year-old Ivan Mishukov was abandoned, others say he ran
away from home because of an abusive alcoholic father. Whatever the case,
he began roaming the streets of Moscow searching for food and shelter when
he came upon a pack of feral dogs and befriended them.

   During the day, he begged for food and brought back to share with the
pack. The dogs became his protectors — they kept strangers away from
him at night and provided him with warmth. They even surrounding
authorities who were looking for him, allowing him to slip away safely.
Unbelievably, he lived like this for two years (that's two Moscow winters).

   When authorities finally caught him, he was a filthy mess with lice and
fleas. He was violent and snarled at people, trusted no one, and had a
limited vocabulary. He was eventually civilized and now lives a normal
life.

   You may have heard Ivan's story before — it was adapted into an
award-winning play, Ivan and the Dogs, by British playwright Hattie Naylor
in 2010.
   (Source)

   4
   The Gazelle Boy

   In the 1960's, Jean-Claude Auger, an anthropologist from the Basque
country, was traveling alone across the Spanish Sahara (Rio de Oro) when he
found a boy in the midst of a herd of gazelles. The boy ran so fast that he
was only caught with the help of an Iraqi army jeep. Although terribly
thin, he was said to have been extremely fit and strong, with muscles of
steel.

   The boy walked on all fours, but occasionally assumed an upright gait,
suggesting to Auger that he was abandoned or lost at about seven or eight
months, having already learned to stand. He habitually twitched his
muscles, scalp, nose, and ears, much like the rest of the herd, in response
to the slightest noise. Unlike most of the feral children of whom we have
records, the gazelle boy was never removed from his wild companions.
(Source 1 | Source 2)

   5
   Traian Caldarar, Romania's Mowgli Boy

   In 2002, Romania's "Mowgli Boy" was reunited with his mother, Lina
Caldarar, after years of living with wild animals in the forests of
Transylvania.

   Traian — nicknamed Mowgli by hospital staff after the character
in The Jungle Book — was found by a shepherd, barely alive, huddled
in a cardboard box, naked and the size of a three-year-old. He had
forgotten how to speak. Doctors say it would have been almost impossible
for him to have survived alone, and believe he was looked after by wild
dogs in the Transylvanian forests.

   His mother, who recognized him from a television news report, said that
she had fled from her husband's home three years earlier after he beat her.
She believes Traian ran away for the same reason.(Source)

   6
   Marina Champman, the woman raised by monkeys

   Marina Chapman (born approximately 1950) is a Colombian-born British
woman who claims to have spent much of her early childhood in the jungle,
alone except for a colony of capuchin monkeys.

   Chapman states that when she was four years old, she was taken from her
village, and released for reasons she did not understand. She spent the
next several years following capuchin monkeys until hunters rescued her
— by which point she had no human language. She alleges to have been
sold to a brothel in Cucuta, to have lived on the streets and been enslaved
by a mafia family.

   She eventually moved to England where she got married and had kids. Her
daughter convinced her to write her story, and in 2013 she published her
autobiography, The Girl With No Name. (Source)

   7
   Rochom P'ngieng, the Cambodian Jungle Girl

   In 2007, a Cambodian woman emerged filthy, naked and scared from the
dense jungle of Ratanakiri province in remote northeastern Cambodia. Local
police said the woman was "half-human and half-animal" and could not speak
any intelligible language. She became internationally known as the
Cambodian Jungle Girl and is believed to be Rochom P'ngieng, who
disappeared while tending buffalo on the edge of the jungle 19 years
before.

   In 2016, a Vietnamese man claimed that the woman was his daughter who
had disappeared in 2006 at age 23, following a mental breakdown. He was
able to provide doc*mentation about her and disappearance, and shortly
after, brought her back to his village in Vietnam. He received the support
of her adoptive family as well as the approval of immigration officials.
(Source 1 | Source 2)

Subject: Everything Beer-Infused
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Everything Beer-Infused
1
Shampoo

The granddaddy of beer-infused products, Bristol-Myers' Body On Tap Shampoo
was released in 1978 and was an immediate hit with consumers. It was made
with 1/3rd Budweiser beer. Anheuser-Busch didn't want to be associated with
the brand in any way, but nevertheless, allowed their beer to part of the
formula and mixed it with formaldehyde so it wouldn't be taxed or used as
alcohol. This was done on the low down, and the shampoo was prohibited from
being shipped in Budweiser-marked trucks.

Bristol-Myers supported the product right out of the gate, but as the years
rolled on, it became less important to the company. It faded out of
circulation by 1982, and although Bud-less versions of Body on Tap are
still around (Bristol-Myers sold the brand name), it hasn't quite reached
its former popularity. (Source)

2
Pickles

Victory Brewing Company's beer pickles feature ingredients common in German
cooking, combining the flavors German-style Pilsner, fresh thyme, dill
seed, coriander, mustard seed, black pepper, African bird's eye chili (Piri
Piri), Chile de Arbol, and California heirloom garlic. (Source)

3
3-D Filament

While 3D printers have steadily become more advanced, the filaments they
print with have also been progressing in leaps and bounds.
3D printing filament is now made from dozens of different materials
including wood, bronze, nylon, carbon fiber, water-soluble plastic,
flexible rubber and even beer! In 2015, the company released a new filament
called “Buzzed" made from the waste byproducts of beer. That's
right—they figured out a way to make a high-quality printing
filament with used-up hops and barley. (Source)

4
Syrup

Louisville bartender Russ Meredith has introduced his beer syrup to
breakfast tables across the country. Currently, he's got mocha porter,
pecan nut brown, and bourbon barrel stout flavors available, with more on
the way. You can now douse your pancakes in malty, hoppy goodness and not
get anything beyond a sugar buzz. (Source)

5
Candy

Working hard at the office but longing for the taste of a cold one? Well,
until you can wet your whistle at happy hour, there's always beer-flavored
sweet treats. You can find Brew Candy® hard candies here, and they come
in three tasty flavors: Honey Ale, Hoppy IPA, and Roasty Stout. (Source)

6
Ice Cream

Lucky folks who live in Georgia get to indulge in a novel summer sweet
treat—beer ice cream from the folks at Frozen Pints. The makers of
this high-end concoction use nothing but the highest quality ice cream, and
the brand has several flavors to choose from including Honey IPA, Brown Ale
Chip, Cinnamon Espresso Stout, Peach Lambic, Vanilla Bock, and Malted Milk
Chocolate Stout.
(Source)

7
Marshmallows

Are you a beer lover with a sweet tooth? Wondermade's marshmallows are made
with beer and sweetened with pure vanilla extract. Yummy bourbon,
champagne, and Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey treats are also available here.

8
Cheese

Beer Cheese originated in central Kentucky, at a restaurant owned by John
Allman during the 1930s. Today, there are a number of commercial Beer
Cheese products available in the state; one company of which is operated by
John Allman's grandson. If you're interested in making your own, there are
also plenty of recipes to be found online. (Source)

9
Spreadable Beer

Scottish craft brewer Innis & Gunn created the world's first spreadable
beer to mark the opening of its new Beer Kitchen in 2016. Introducing Marm
& Ale, the world's first marmalade oak-aged pale ale, which combines the
brewer's oak-aged IPA with Dundee, Scotland's finest preserves. (Source)

10
Popcorn

In 2016, Lav (produced and bottled by Carlsberg) launched a beer-branded
popcorn after refining its ingredient list by excluding corn. (The beer is
now made with just barley, hops and water.)

The promotional product from McCann Belgrade agency "literally took out the
corn out of Lav's beer and turned it into a popcorn" and it was given away
at supermarkets, bars, movie theaters, and other events to spread the word
about the brand's new changes in a fun and unexpected way. (Source)

Subject: Idiots
 Click here

Subject: In One Minute
 Click here

Subject: Funnies
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

Subject: Did You Know?
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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Think the hole in the lid keeps the ballpoint from drying out?
1
A lot of people think the hole in the cap of a ballpoint pen is there to
keep the pen from drying out, or that it’s there to keep a pressure
balance that prevents the pen from leaking. The real reason it’s
there is much more straightforward:

It’s there to lower the risk of suffocation. If a small child was chewing
on the cap and choked on it, the hole keeps their airway from closing up
entirely.

Ever notice the little holes in the windows of airplanes?

2
That little hole is there for two reasons:

The first reason is to compensate for air pressure. When the plane climbs
to cruising altitude, there’s a huge pressure difference between the
inside and outside of the plane. The hole is there to regulate some of that
difference so that the outer window doesn’t have to do all the work.

The other reason is that it prevents the windows from fogging up.

You know that extra piece of fabric that comes with new clothes?

3
You probably always thought it was there for patches, right? Wrong! The
manufacturer includes that little sample of material so you can test how
different laundry detergents will react to your new garment.

And this little pocket on your jeans?

4
The purpose of that little pocket is obvious to any Wild West cowboys or
19th-century gold miners reading this. It’s where you kept your pocket
watch when jeans were first invented.

Okay, but what about the studs?

5
When Levi Strauss made his first pair of jeans, it was a pretty common
problem for the seams of the trousers to tear due to the stress being put
on them by the workmen and miners who wore them.

The rivets just exist to strengthen the trousers at the most conspicuous
spots.

What are those little holes in Converse All Stars there for?

6
The main reason they’re there is the most obvious one: ventilation.

But some people think that because Converse All Stars were originally made
as basketball shoes, laces could be looped through the extra holes for a
snugger fit.

Ever notice the little hole at the end of a tape measure? Ever wonder what
it’s for?

7
It’s there to hook onto nails or screws so you can measure safely without
the tape measure slipping.

And what about the little serrated edge?

8
Pretty obvious now that you see it, isn’t it? Imagine trying to mark
where your measurement is, but not being able to because your hands are
currently both busy using a tape measure.

A little serrated edge would come in handy right then, wouldn’t it?

That hole in the handle of your pot is useful for more than one reason.

9
Sure, the main reason that hole is there is for hanging up your pot, but
next time you need to set down a messy cooking spoon you’ll know exactly
where to look.

And the hole on your pasta spoon?

10
This one is going to blow your mind. The hole’s primary purpose to strain
the pasta and let the water drain out, but on many spoons, the hole is just
about the size of one person’s portion of spaghetti.

What’s that arrow next to your gas gauge there for?

11
Maybe you’ve never even noticed it before, but that little arrow is
secretly the most convenient feature on any car. It indicates which side of
the car the gas cap is on. Believe me, it comes in handy when you’re
driving a rental car.

Why is one side of a bobby pin bent into a zigzag?

12
That’s an easy one! The grooved side is the bottom of the pin and should
face toward the scalp. The grooves help the hairpin hold the hair better.

Ever notice a little hole in the bottom of a padlock?

13
That little hole is there for a few reasons. The first is that it lets
water drain out of the lock if you’re using it outdoors, so it wont rust
in the rain or freeze and break in the winter. The hole can also be used to
oil the lock to keep it working well.

What about this thick bit found on many cables?

14
Those little cylinder-shaped lumps are ferrite cores or chokes, and
they’re essentially just chunks of magnetic iron oxide that are there to
suppress high-frequency electromagnetic interference.

Have you ever heard weird interference when your cell phone goes off too
close to a speaker? Well, ferrite cores are there to keep that from
happening to your monitors, power supplies, and everything else.

Do you even know how utility blades work?

15
Take a close look at the blade on your box cutter or utility knife. Notice
the little score lines? You can break off the end of the blade to give
yourself a fresh, sharp blade whenever you want.

To do so, take that back cap off, slide the blade out the back end, and use
the cap to snap off the end of the blade before putting it all back
together again.

And why do some caps have a little spike in them?

16
Unscrew the lid, flip it around, and push it in. The little spike will
punch right through the protective foil on a new container.

And the little bumps on the ‘F’and ‘J’ keys on a keyboard?

17
Most trained typists will already know what they’re there for. In
10-finger typing, the ‘F’ and ‘J’ keys are the home keys, where
your index fingers rest. The little bumps let you find your way back to the
home position without looking down at your keyboard.

What about the hole found in rulers?

18
Easy. It’s for hanging them up.

Why does an Apple power cable have wings?

19
The wings flip up to give you something to wrap the cable around. Start by
wrapping the thicker section of cable around the power block, then the
thinner part of the cable around the wings, and secure the whole thing with
the little clamp on the very end.

And while we’re at it, what’s the dot next to the camera on an iPhone
for?

20
It’s a microphone for when you’re using the back camera.

Have you been eating Tic Tacs wrong this whole time?

21
Maybe you’ve noticed the little indentation on the lid of a package of
Tic Tacs before and figured it was there to tightly seal the container,
right? Well, it also serves as a dispenser that gives you one Tic Tac at a
time.

And the little disc under the lid of a plastic bottle?

22
Have you ever pried one of them out and found that your bottle still closes
fine? What purpose could they possibly serve then?

They’re there to create a seal that keeps EVERYTHING in that bottle, both
liquid and carbonation. Without it, that soda would go flat in no time.

What’s that mysterious blue side of an eraser for?

23
You’ve always heard that it could erase pen ink. Well, it can. But it
only really works on very strong, thick paper.

The blue side is harder and more abrasive that the softer pink side, and
takes a lot more paper off when you use it, which is why you’ve probably
erased clean through the paper any time you’ve tried to use it.

And why do wine and champagne bottles have those indentations in the
bottom?

24
It’s not there so that the sommelier can get a better grip while
they’re pouring, which is probably what you’ve always heard.

It’s actually there to compensate for the pressure that the contents of
the bottle go through during the corking process. The sides and bottoms of
bottles are weak spots, and the indentation helps evenly distribute the
pressure inside the bottle. That’s why it’s so much deeper on champagne
bottles, which are under much more pressure due to the carbonation.

Subject: I Met My Other Half ...
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

Subject: Money Counting
 Click here

(How do we know she’s correct?)

Subject: Only in Australia
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Adelaide River Race

   ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Whizzbang
Subject: Hard to untrain a dog
 Click here

worth a laugh!

Subject:  Hacking - this is scary
 Click here

This is scary.!!!!

When you listen carefully to this you realize how trusting people with
personal info. really are.

What some can do with a baby

Subject:  Kalkoen

*Bloody women.....*

Subject: Stanley tools, new for 2015 (X-ED)
 Click here

THE STANLEY TOOL COMPANY DOES IT AGAIN

What a great invention from the Stanley Company!

100ch = 2-3/4 inches

Stanley has just released a new tape measure that will surely take the
industry by storm!

ourlighterside.co/731ECB8A.jpg

While at first look it seems like a regular tape measure, the finite
measurement

capability is unmatched by any other tape measure ever made (See below).
 Click here

So the next time your buddy tells you to "Move it a c*nt hair to the left
or right," you won't have to guess!

"At Stanley , we help you do things right."

For those who understand, no explanation is needed.

For those who do not understand, no explanation is possible.

Subject:  The Outcast and Unwanted
 Click here

Subject: NO BRAINS BACKYARD MECHANICS
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

*'BACKYARD MECHANICS'*
*Just think, these people could be coming the other way?*

Subject: Looks like the lower ball joints have dropped out (XX-ED)
 Click here

Subject: =?UTF-8?Q?_Probl=c3=a8me_de_batteries?=
 Click here

Subject: 4wd river crossing
 Click here

------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Yep this will ruin your day every time!!!!*

     When 4wd tyres get to the size where they make your vehicle float
     you know there has to be repercussions

Subject: The missus...
 Click here

Subject: Bagpiper.mp4  (XXX-ED)
 Click here

   ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Quote of the week:

“After climbing a great hill, one only finds that there are many more
hills to climb.”

- Nelson Mandela

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[ End friday humour ]

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