Friday humour - September 23, 2016

[from Steve at Bluehaze]

It's good to know that off-shore detention is a cost effective solution to
the problem. At $3.2 billion a year, I wonder what a more expensive
solution would be worth.

This weeks agglomeration comes from the generosity of Arfermo, Duke of
Barsinov, KRP, Wally and Whizzbang.

Enjoy!

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Definition of Political Correctness
 Click here

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Kindergarten Cop Meets Australian Parliament 
 Click here

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Muslim Tribute Band

I went to see a Muslim Tribute Band last night at a Mosque in West
Adelaide.
They were called "Bomb Jovi".

I thought they were brilliant.

Songs like "Losing My Head Over You", "Rocket Launcher Man", "You're Six,
You're Beautiful and You're Mine".

Their last song "Living on a Prayer Mat" almost brought the house down.

Then this Muslim bloke started bragging about how he had the entire Koran
on
DVD.

I was interested so I asked him, "Can you burn me a copy?"

Well that was when the trouble started ...

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He'll never be the same again...
 Click here

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Some Brit humour is really politically incorrect

I once knew a dental nurse who loved giving bl*w jobs and smoking weed. She
was known as Oral High Jean.

Just had a parcel from Holland , when I opened it, it was a rubber f*nny.
That's nice I thought, 'Two lips from Amsterdam!

My dad worked on the roadwork's for twenty years before he got fired for
stealing! At first I didn't believe it... But when I got home all the signs
were there.

A recent survey reported that three quarters of men don't know how to turn
on the dish washer. I find that licking her nipples and a light gentle
fingering usually does the trick.

My girlfriend says that a small penis won't affect our relationship.
Whether she's right or not, I'd prefer it if she didn't have one at all!

A woman is walking down the street and sees a sign in the pet shop window
reading, "PUSSY-LICKING FROG £25" ... Curious, the woman proceeds inside
and says to the shop keeper, "I'd like to see the pussy-licking frog,
please."
To which the shopkeeper replies, "Bonjour!".

I was on a train this morning, in the loo, when a voice called out "Can I
see your ticket please?" "Not right now." I replied, "I'm having a sh*t."
"I don't believe you." Said the voice. "Slide it under the door." "No
probs," I said. "The yellow bits are sweetcorn!"

My son asked me today "What's the difference between a crow and a
blackbird?" I told him, "Crows have somewhat heavier beaks, fan-shaped
tails and live on insects. A blackbird has big rubbery lips, a fat ar*e and
lives on benefits.

Everyone's a comedian nowadays. Even the paramedic who was unable to
resuscitate Whitney couldn't avoid a gag! When he radioed dispatch he said
"It's Houston, we have a problem!"

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KRP
Mixed Methapor/Cliche Award
 Click here
From the Australian, 17/18 Sep 2016;
How many metaphors/clichés can be crammed into eleven words?

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Videos & Photos
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Austin's Moonlight Towers
 Click here

Australia's 10 X Deadliest Animals  Click here

10 X People who fell / jumped into Zoo Enclosures 
 Click here

Monster Front Seat Ride
 Click here

The Present
 Click here

Triple Spiral Dominos
 Click here

15 X Brisbane Courier Mail WTF Photos
 Click here

Why Iraqis throw Rocks
 Click here

Apple Swan
 Click here

BB-8 Waffle Maker
 Click here

Formula E Car visits Artic Ice Cap  Click here

2014 World Cup Brazil (McDonald's Ad)
 Click here

Beneful (Ad)
 Click here

Dolly Parton & Pentatonix (Jolene)  Click here

Paris-Versailles Train
 Click here

Malta
 Click here

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Lipstick-Shaped Cigarette Lighter
 Click here Click here
Imagine  the  hilarity, when  your  lady-love accidentally scorches her
kisser. She'll be "smoking hot" for you then.

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Typhoon Meranti, Taiwan
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Typhoon Meranti struck Kaohsiung, Taiwan, on Wednesday, 14th September,
2016, damaging several ships and boats.

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Parking Expertise
 Click here
(I think he has done this before ... Wally)

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      Ah-the-eah the-eah That's All (for this week) Folks!


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[ End friday humour ]

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