Friday humour - April 01, 2016

Anon3 at Bluehaze

This week's Friday Humour came from Anon3, Arfermo, Burnout, Duke of
Barsinov, Haz, Sack, Seasoldier, Wally, Whizzbang and Clooney's Twin.

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6 Signs You're Turning Into Your Parents
 Click here

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Downed power line - info could save your life

This Might Shock You: Downed Power Line

Watch it all the way through ... Could save your life.
 Click here

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Funnies
  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here
  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here
  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here  target=_blank>Click here

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Old Wooden Church in Poland

An amazingly long completion period for design, art and craftsman projects.
Have a look at this old wooden 350-year-old Church of Peace in southwest
Poland. Wonder how it survived the World Wars. Heaven only knows how this
Jewel escaped the Germans and the Russians in WWII!
 Click here

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What did you do today?

A guy comes home from work, and his wife asks, " What did you do at work
today?" He answers, "I changed a light bulb".

 Click here

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Dog Funny

IN RESPONSE TO ALL RECENT E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG:
PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT HIM.
YES, HE BIT TWO PEOPLE WEARING BURKAS:
TEN PEOPLE WEARING TURBANS,
TWENTY PEOPLE WEARING JEREMY CORBYN T-SHIRTS, TWO CAR DRIVERS WITH RAP
MUSIC
BLARING FROM THEIR VEHICLES, FOUR JEHOVAH'S WITNESSES, TWO MORMONS, NINE
TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR ASS CRACKS, THREE MUSLIMS AND A
PAKISTANI TAXI DRIVER.
FOR THE LAST TIME. . .THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE!

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Trump's First Night In the White House

After what happened on Super Tuesday, it looks like Donald is on his way. 
Holy mackerel!!

Trump's First Night In the White House

The Donald is elected president....

On the first night he spends in the White House, he is visited by the ghost
of George Washington.

He asks him, "George, what can I do to best serve the  United States?"

The ghost of George Washington responds, "Never tell a lie."

He says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

The next night, he is visited by the ghost of Thomas Jefferson.

He asks him, "Thomas, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Thomas Jefferson responds, "Do not bully the people."

He says, "Oh, I don't think I can do that."

On the third night, he is visited by the ghost of Abraham Lincoln.

He asks him, "Abraham, what can I do to best serve the United States?"

The ghost of Abraham Lincoln responds, "Go see a play."

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The Sheer Nightgown

A husband walks into Victoria's Secret to purchase a sheer negligee for his
wife.
He is shown several possibilities that range from $250 to $500 in price --
the sheerer, the higher the price.
Naturally, he opts for the sheerest item, pays the $500, and takes it home.
He presents it to his wife and asks her to go upstairs, put it on, and
model it for him.
Upstairs the wife thinks (she's no dummy), 'I have an idea. It's so sheer
that it might as well be nothing. I won't put it on, but I'll do the
modeling naked, return it tomorrow, and keep the $500 refund for myself.'
She appears naked on the balcony and strikes a pose.
The husband says, 'Good Grief!   You'd think for $500, they'd at least iron
the damn thing!'

He never heard the shot.

Funeral on Thursday at Noon. Closed coffin.

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OLD PHOTOS

Cowboys Around the Hoodlum Wagon, Spur Ranch, Texas, 1910

Judging by the saddle style, this unidentified cowboy was working in the
late 1870s or 1880s. In his holster, he carries a Colt model 1873 single
action revolver with hard rubber grips,

and he has looped his left arm around a Winchester model 1873 carbine in a
saddle scabbard. On the back of the photo is the light pencil inscription -
“Indian fighter."

Snow Tunnel ~ On the Ouray and Silverton Toll Rd ~ Colorado ~ 1888

1899 Concord, Michigan "Buggy & Wagon Shop"

Thankful someone took the time to photograph this type of beauty - April
1937. "Buttermilk Junction, Martin County, Indiana."

1887-West Center Street, Anaheim, California.  Now we have Disneyland here!

Moser's, Guns, Banjo's, and Mules at the Livery stable in East Tennessee
around 1890

In 1906, a massive magnitude 7.9 earthquake ruptured the entire San Andreas
Fault in Northern California. That is a huge running crack in the ground.

Now they are building houses right on the line as fast as the boards can be
delivered.  Hmmmm.......

This is what real cowboys looked like in 1887.  Not as fancy as on TV, huh!

Some of the toughest, bravest people we know of.  They gave it their all to
go west and start a new life.  This wagon train is in eastern Colorado in
1880.

This moose team belonged to W.R. (Billy/Buffalo Bill) Day. They were found
by a Metis near Baptiste Lake in 1910 and were reared by bottle and

broken to drive by Mr. Day at Athabasca Landing during the winter of 1910.
Mr. Day and the moose team hauled mail and supplies.

In the American Civil War, soldiers were required to have at least four
opposing front teeth, so that they could open a gunpowder pouch.

Some draftees had their front teeth removed to avoid service.  In our day
they just jumped the border into Canada.

Here we have a tired old prospector during the Klondike Gold Rush.

Lulu Parr - Her skill with the gun caught the attention of Pawnee Bill, who
signed her to his show in 1903. She left that show but came back in 1911.
By that time, Pawnee Bill had joined Buffalo Bill's show.

Buffalo Bill was so in awe of Lulu's willingness to ride unbroken ponies
that he presented her with an ivory-handled Colt single-action revolver,
engraved with “Buffalo Bill Cody to Lulu Parr -1911."

From the driver's seat of a 40 mule team. These rigs were used to haul
Borax out of Boron Ca. & then loaded onto railroads for manufacturing.

All this so you could do the laundry!  Man, that's a lot of horses!

Hoops had to be removed before taking your seat in a carriage and then they
were hooked onto the back of the carriage.

Deer Hunter Living In A Log , 1893. Tough guys live in tough places, I
guess.  Home is where you make it!

Omaha Board of Trade in Mountains near Deadwood, April 26, 1889. It was
created in 1889 by Grabill, John C. H., photographer. The picture presents

Procession of stagecoaches loaded with passengers coming down a mountain
road.

This is a stunning photograph from 1862. The image shows a Civil War
Ambulance crew removing the wounded from a battlefield. It shows a
horse-drawn ambulance, and the Zouave uniforms of this unit.

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Jack and his date

Jack and his date, Blossom were parked on a back road some distance from
Brisbane, doing what boys and girls do on back roads some distance from
Brisbane.

Things were getting hot and heavy when Blossom stopped Jack.

"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and
I charge $120 for s*x," she said.

Jack just looked at her for a couple of seconds, but then reluctantly paid
her, and they went on to have mind blowing s*x for the next hour.

After they were done, and had smoked a cigarette, Jack just sat in the
driver's seat looking out the window.

"Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked Blossom.

"Well.....", Jack replied with a grin on his face, "I should have mentioned
this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver and the fare back to Brisbane
is $130 "

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Age Discrimination

A middle-aged frumpy couple return to a Mercedes dealership where the
salesman has just sold the car they were interested in to a beautiful,
leggy, busty blonde.

"I thought you said you would hold that car till we raised the $75,000
asking price," said the man. "Yet I just heard you close the deal for
$65,000 to the lovely young lady there.  You insisted there could be no
discount on this model."

"Well, what can I tell you?  She had the ready cash and, just look at her,
how could I resist?" replied the grinning salesman.

Just then the young woman approached the middle-aged couple and gave them
the keys.  "There you go," she said. "I told you I would get the dope to
reduce it.  See you later, Dad."

Never mess with the old uns!

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Trump Vows To Stop Birds Migrating To America Next Summer

By The Shovel on March 23, 2016

Donald Trump says he will put an end to the "unsustainable" mass migration
of birds to the US for the northern summer if he is elected President.

Trump told a packed rally in Arizona that the birds were taking advantage
of the current administration's weak border policies.

"Under President Obama, birds have been pouring across our borders
unabated. Just look out your window and you'll see them. All sorts of
birds. Birds from Mexico, birds from Chile. Birds that look nothing like
you or me.

"They're taking advantage of our way of life. They're taking our jobs, and
sh*tting all over our children. A lot of them, they come here just to have
babies - anchor babies - so they think they've got some kind of claim to
stay.

"Are we gonna stop this scam? You bet we are!

Asked how exactly he would stop the birds, Trump said he would make America
great again. "Look, we can bring back the American Dream. We're bringing it
back. People are asking me the question, "Is the American Dream dead?" And
it's in trouble, I can tell you. But we're going to get it back and do some
real jobs!.

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CELL PHONES IN CHURCH .

This is from someone who lives near this church. He visited this church
where they actually show this video of how they handle cell phones in that
church.

It's only 1 minute long and a hoot
 Click here

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Irish Love Story

An elderly man lay dying in his bed. While suffering the agonies of
impending death, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favourite scones
wafting up the stairs.

He gathered his remaining strength, and lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning on the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with
even greater effort, gripping the railing with both hands, he crawled
downstairs.  With laboured breath, he leaned against the door-frame, gazing
into the kitchen. Were it not for death's agony, he would have thought
himself already in heaven, for there, spread out upon the kitchen table
were literally hundreds of his favourite scones.

Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of love from his devoted Irish wife
of sixty years, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?

Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself towards the table,
landing on his knees in rumpled posture. His aged and withered hand
trembled towards a scone at the edge of the table, when it was suddenly
smacked by his wife with a wooden spoon.

F**k off" she said, "they're for the funeral."

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I just changed a light bulb

What did you do at work today?

Nothing special...I just changed a light bulb.
 Click here

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Laugh of the Day - very clean

A judge was interviewing a South Carolina woman regarding her pending
divorce and asks, "What are the grounds for your divorce?"
"About four acres and a nice little home in the middle of the property with
a stream running by."

"No," he said, "I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

"It is made of concrete, brick and mortar," she responded.

"I mean," he continued, "what are your relations like?"

"I have an aunt and uncle and 12 cousins living here in town, as well as my
  husband's parents."

The judge took a deep breath and asked, "Do you have a real grudge?"

"No, we have a two-car carport and have never really needed one cuz we
don't have a car."

"Please," he tried again, "is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

"Yes, both my son and daughter have stereo sets. We don't necessarily like
the music - all that hip hop and rap tap - but we can't seem to do anything
about it."

"Ma'am, does your husband ever beat you up?"

"Yes, he gets up every morning before I do and makes the coffee."

The judge asked, "Is your husband a nagger?"

"Oh, hell no, he's as white as you and me!"

Finally, in frustration, the judge asked, "Lady, why in hell do you want a
divorce?

"Oh, I don't want a divorce," she replied. "I've never wanted a divorce, my
husband does. The damn fool says he can't communicate with me."

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9 Months later

Keith decided to go skiing with his mate, Bob.

So they loaded up Keith's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few
hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard.

They pulled into a nearby, off the road farm and asked the attractive lady
who answered the door if they could spend the night in her house.

"I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all
to myself, but I'm recently widowed,' she explained. 'I'm afraid the
neighbours will talk if I let you stay with me.'

Keith said, 'We'll be happy to sleep in the barn, if the weather breaks,
we'll be gone at first light.'

The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in
for the night.

Come morning ,the weather had cleared, and they got on their way.

They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing.

But about nine months later, Keith got an unexpected letter from an
attorney.
it took him a few minutes to work it out, but he finally determined  it was
from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend.

He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, 'Bob, do you remember that
good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north
about 9 months ago?' yes I do.' said Bob

'Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house
and pay her a visit?'
'Well, um, yes!,' Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out, 'I
have to admit that I did.'
And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?'

Bob's face turned beetroot red and he said, 'Yeah, look, I'm sorry, dear
friend, I'm afraid I did.
Why do you ask?'

'She just died and left me everything.'

And you thought the ending would be little bit different, didn't  you?...i
You know you smiled... now keep that smile for the rest of the day!

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Read this -
Lest we forget!!

Ask any person not your child between the ages of 18 and 25 if they ever
heard of the Nuremberg Trials.  1 in 13 might say they have but will not be
able to tell you what was on trial (not who).  Those same people will not
be able to tell you the name of the Vice President.  84% of those who
receive this will not read it completely, or at all. 10% will

Stupid is as stupid does...

The war started in the 7th century and lasted through the 17th century. I
would contend it never stopped but historically the facts below are
correct.

This is why I choke when I hear someone say we will defeat or contain these
Islamic terrorists in a few years or even 30 years as recently stated by
Leon Panetta.

If the latest batch of murders, beheadings, and killing of innocent
Christians has shocked you, maybe you should read this compilation of
historical facts about the hatred of Muslims.

WE, THE STUPID

This is all factually (and historically) correct - and verifiable:

In 732 A.D. the Muslim Army, which was moving on Paris, was defeated and
turned back at Tours, France, by Charles Martell.

In 1571 A.D. the Muslim Army/Navy was defeated by the Italians and
Austrians as they tried to cross the Mediterranean to attack southern
Europe in the Battle of Lepanto.

In 1683 A.D. the Turkish Muslim Army, attacking Eastern Europe, was finally
defeated in the Battle of Vienna by German and Polish Christian Armies.

This cr*p has been going on for 1,400 years and half of the politicians
don't even know it.

If these battles had not been won, we might be speaking Arabic and
Christianity could be non-existent; Judaism certainly would not exist.

Reflecting:  A lot of Americans have become so insulated from reality that
they imagine that America can suffer defeat without any inconvenience to
themselves. Pause a moment and reflect back.

These events are actual events from history. They really happened!  Do you
remember?:

47 years since 1968 and this just keeps going on and on.

1. In 1968, Bobby Kennedy was shot and killed by a Muslim male.
2. In 1972, at the Munich Olympics, Israeli athletes were kidnapped and
massacred by Muslim males.
3. In 1972, a PanAm 747 was hijacked and eventually diverted to Cairo where
a fuse was lit on final approach.  Shortly after landing it was blown up by
Muslim males.
4. In 1973, a PanAm 707 was destroyed in Rome, with 33 people killed, when
it was attacked with grenades by Muslim males.
5. In 1979, the US embassy in Iran was taken over by Muslim males.
6. During the 1980 's a number of Americans were kidnapped in Lebanon by
Muslim males.
7. In 1983, the US Marine barracks in Beirut was blown up by Muslim males.
8. In 1985, the cruise ship Achille Lauro was hijacked and a 70-year old
American passenger was murdered and thrown overboard in his wheelchair by
Muslim males.
9. In 1985, TWA flight 847 was hijacked at Athens, and a US Navy diver
trying to rescue passengers was murdered by Muslim males.
10. In 1988, PanAm Flight 103 was bombed by Muslim males.
11. In 1993, the World Trade Center was bombed the first time by Muslim
males.
12. In 1998, the US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania were bombed by Muslim
males.
13. On 9/11/01, four airliners were hijacked; two were used as missiles to
take down the World Trade Centers and of the remaining two, one crashed
into the US Pentagon and the other was diverted and crashed by the
passengers. Thousands of people were killed by Muslim males.
14. In 2002, the United States fought a war in Afghanistan against Muslim
males.
15. In 2002, reporter Daniel Pearl was kidnapped and beheaded by - you
guessed it -  a Muslim male. (Plus two other American journalists who were
just recently beheaded ).
16. In 2013, the Boston Marathon Bombing resulted in 4 Innocent people,
(including a child) being killed and 264 people injured by Muslim males.

No Obama, I really don't see a pattern here to justify profiling, do you? 
So, to ensure we Americans never offend anyone, particularly fanatics
intent on killing us, airport security screeners will no longer be allowed
to profile certain people.

So, ask yourself "Just how stupid are we???"

Absolutely No Profiling! They must conduct random searches of 80-year-old
women, little kids, airline pilots with proper identification, secret
agents who are members of the Obama's security detail, 85-year-old
Congressmen with metal hips, and Medal of Honor winner and former Governor
Joe Foss, BUT........leave Muslim Males alone lest we be guilty of
profiling.

Ask yourself, "Just how stupid are we? "Have the American people completely
lost their minds or just their Power of Reason???

Let's send this to as many people as we can so that the Gloria Alred's and
other stupid attorneys, along with Federal Justices, that want to thwart
common sense, feel ashamed of themselves -- if they have any such sense.

As the writer of the award winning story " Forrest Gump " so aptly put it,
"Stupid Is As Stupid Does."

Each opportunity that you have to send this to a friend or media outlet...
Do It!  OR JUST SIT BACK, KEEP GRIPING, AND DO NOTHING. As OBAMA SAID IN
HIS BOOK NOTHING SOUNDS SO BEAUTIFUL AS THE MUSLIM EVENING PRAYERS FROM THE
TOWER.

WAKE UP AMERICA!!!

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Tattoo for you
 Click here

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Mildly amusing
 Click here Click here

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Cory Bernardi has concerns
 Click here

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An Easter Mardi Gras dilemma
 Click here

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Religion
 Click here

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New season tee shirts from the Essendon footy club
 Click here

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Smile
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman,

"Which book has helped you most in your life?"

She replied, "My husband's cheque book."

A prospective husband in a book-store enquired,

"Do you have a book called, "Husband – the Master of the House"?
The sales-girl promptly replied,  "Yes sir, 'Fiction' and 'Humour' are on
the 1st floor."

Someone asked an old man, "Even after 70 years, you still call your wife
'Darling', 'Honey' and  'Love'."

What's the secret ?
The old man replied, "I've forgotten her bloody name and I'm too scared to
ask."

A man in Hell asked the Devil, "Can I make a call to my wife?"
After making the call he asked how much he had to pay.
The Devil replied, "Nothing; in-house calls are free."

The wife said, "I wish I was a newspaper, so I'd be in your hands all day."
The husband replied, "I wish that you were a newspaper too so I would get a
new one every day."

The husband said to his wife, "Today is a fine day!"
The next day he said, "Today is a fine day!"
Again, the next day, he said the same thing: "Today is a fine day."
After a week, the wife became irritated and asked her husband,
"Since last week, you have been saying, 'Today is a fine day!"  I am fed up
with it.   Why are you doing it?"
The husband said, "Last week when we had an argument, you said, 'I'll leave
you one fine day'.

I was just reminding you......"

Laughter is the best medicine.

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Spin, the Aussie Way
 Click here Click here

SPIN, THE AUSTRALIAN WAY

No matter what side of the political fence you're on, THIS is FUNNY and
VERY telling! It just all depends on how you look at the same things.

Judy Rudd, an amateur genealogy researcher in south east Queensland , was
doing some personal work on her own family tree. She discovered that
ex-Prime Minister Kevin Rudd's great-great uncle, Remus Rudd, was hanged
for horse stealing and train robbery in Melbourne in 1889.

Both Judy and Kevin Rudd share this common ancestor.

The only known photograph of Remus shows him standing on the gallows at the
Melbourne Jail.

On the back of the picture Judy obtained during her research is this
inscription:

'Remus Rudd horse thief, sent to Melbourne Jail 1885, escaped 1887, robbed
the Melbourne-Geelong train six times.

Caught by Victoria Police Force, convicted and hanged in 1889.'

So Judy recently e-mailed ex-Prime Minister Rudd for information about
their great-great uncle, Remus Rudd.

Believe it or not, Kevin Rudd's staff sent back the following for her
genealogy research:

"Remus Rudd was famous in Victoria during the mid to late 1800s.

His business empire grew to include acquisition of valuable equestrian
assets and intimate dealings with the Melbourne-Geelong Railroad..

Beginning in 1883, he devoted several years of his life to government
service, finally taking leave to resume his dealings with the railroad.

In 1887, he was a key player in a vital investigation run by the Victoria
Police Force.

In 1889, Remus passed away during an important civic function held in his
honour when the platform upon which he was standing collapsed."

NOW That's how it's done, Folks!

That's real POLITICAL SPIN.

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He's My Best Friend
 Click here

When they were young lads, Brian and Greg walked into a pharmacy in
Belleville one day, picked out a box of tampons and proceeded to the
checkout counter.

The pharmacist at the counter asked Brian, "Son, how old are you?"

"Eight,"  Brian replied.

The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"

Brian replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me.  They're for Greg. 
He's my best friend.  He's four."

"Oh, really?" the pharmacist replied with a grin.

"Yes."  Brian said.  "We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able
to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of that."

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In case You need a laugh!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

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The Blind archer.
 Click here

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BENNY HILL IN HOSPITAL
 Click here

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Bouwvakkers!!
 Click here

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Spot the dwarf!!!X. X. X.

Thought this might brighten up Sunday!

PLEASE BE CAREFUL WHO'S AROUND WHEN OPENING THIS ONE

 Click here

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The Force of the Lake - PICS of Lake ERIE at PORT STANLEY
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The Force of the Lake - PICS of Lake ERIE at PORT STANLEY by photographer
Dave Sandford

Lake Erie is the fourth largest lake (by surface area) of the five Great
Lakes in North America and the thirteenth largest globally if measured in
terms of surface area. It is the southernmost, shallowest, and smallest by
volume of the Great Lakes and therefore also has the shortest average water
residence time. Lake Erie's northern shore is bounded by the Canadian
province of Ontario, with US states of Ohio, Pennsylvania and New York on
its southern and easternmost shores and Michigan on the west.

Looks like the ocean but it's the Great Lakes

He recently spent time on Lake Erie shooting the Great Lake's turbulent
fall season. From mid-October to mid-November, the longtime professional
sports photographer travelled each week to Port Stanley, Ontario, on the
edge of Lake Erie to spend hours taking photos.

This series of images shows what this Great Lake looks like after the
sunbathers and boaters leave and the weather begins to turn.

1. His goal was to capture the exact moment when lake waves driven by
gusting winds collide with a rebound wave that's created when the water
hits a pier and collection of boulders on the shore.

2. "The best way I can describe the water is it's like a washing machine.
It's not like ocean waves, where you have a nice set that's rolling in.
They are really erratic, they go all over the place, and there is a strong
undertow there so it can be a very dangerous place."

4. "I've had a number of people contact me that used to live by the Great
Lakes .... and they said the photos really stirred something inside them
because they grew up there and know what the water can be like."

6. "I'm hearing from other people that are blown away. They say, 'This
can't be a lake, it's got to be an ocean.' They had no idea that a lake
could generate waves of this size and force."

8. "The wave [in this photo] looks sort of like a mountain. I've already
had it printed up for my own wall at home. These waves move so fast. It's
insane how fast they form, and then from the time that they form to that
nice peak to exploding, it's a mere second."

9. "I really enjoyed that challenge, when I was out there, of getting it
when it's in that almost perfect peak on both sides before it explodes, so
it has that look of a mountain or a volcano."

10. "There was only one evening where the sun broke through. Most were very
overcast days."

12. "I enjoy the challenge of freezing things in time. Getting them at the
right moment — at the peak moment."

13. He said his sports photography and his waves series share one important
characteristic. "In all the things I've made my living doing in photography
there are no do-overs no re-dos. You get one shot at it and that's it, so
it really helps you hone your craft."

15. "When you're on a beach you don't have a studio setting where you can
set something or someone up and have multiple opportunities to get it. It's
one and done."

19. "No two waves are ever the same - you either have it or you don't."

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Easter card - I want to be the first to wish you Happy Easter!
 Click here

I HOPE THAT THIS IS YOUR VERY FIRST EASTER CARD FOR  2016   ! ! !

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S*xy eyes
 Click here

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Wedding Night In The Seniors Lodge

You’ll love this.....Very short ....Turn up sound ...
 Click here

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National Museum of Natural History (1)
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

The National Museum of Natural History in Washington, D.C., United States,
the largest of all museums of the Smithsonian Institution, is home to over
126 million specimens of plants, animals, fossils, minerals, rocks, and
other artifacts, that represents over 90% of the Institution's collections.
As with all museums, a disproportionately large percentage of the
collection is stored behind the walls, with only a small number of items
put on public display. These items are not sitting in some dark basement
and gathering dust, but meticulously organized, labelled, catalogued, and
preserved.

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Just My Luck
 Click here

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Brazilian Ping Pong
 Click here

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Goodbye Green House
 Click here Click here

An iconic green home in Sydney has just hit the market, but in a markedly
different hue to the original colour.

4 Bennett Road, Colyton is a local landmark known for its bright green
facade, but has recently been repainted to a sober grey prior to being
listed for sale.

The house has an impressive street presence and had been painted entirely
green by the owner, starting from the roof and down to the walls, window
frames, balustrades, concrete driveway and garage.

Selling agent Carlo Soliman, Director of Soliform Property, says the house
was built in the late 1970s by two brothers, with the older of the two
undertaking the actual construction of the house.

The younger brother of the two brothers is selling the home under probate
following the passing of his older brother last year. Soliman was briefed
by the younger brother, and believes the older brother lived alone in the
house and was the one who painted it green.

"The older brother that owned it actually lost his mental faculties and
started seeing everything a bit strange," Soliman says.

"They obviously can't sell it in that condition, so they have painted it a
more palatable and conservative colour."

Locals have floated a number of theories on why the owners initially
decided to paint the entire home green.

It has long been alleged the house was painted green following the death of
the owner's wife, whose favourite colour was green and thus the entire
house was painted that colour in her honour.

Another view is the owners went through a messy divorce where the husband
didn't want the wife to have the proceeds of the house sale, so he painted
it green to depreciate the value.

Equally as creative is the rumour that the owner killed his family in a car
accident when driving under the influence. He then painted the home green
which symbolises forgiveness and in a gesture to embarrass himself.

The house features a number of unique finishes including ornate floor-to
ceiling tiles, raked timber ceilings, archways and pendant lights.

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Car Photos
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

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Remi Gaillard (Hilarious)
 Click here

Top 10 -
 Click here

Best 2006-2015 -
 Click here

Best of 2015 -
 Click here

Blind Man 2016 -
 Click here

PS: Remi  is  a  French  Comedian,
and  the  17th most  popular  person on You  Tube. Just  love  his  antics
as  the blind  man, in the car.

PPS: Occasional swear word shown.

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World's 5 Biggest Trucks
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

The biggest trucks in the world form part of the 'Ultra Class.' They aren't
on-road vehicles, because they're simply too big to be used on them.
Instead, they're strictly used for mining, and heavy dirt hauling work.
These titans can use up to a gallon of fuel every 30 seconds, and between
50 and 75 Ultra Class trucks, with a payload capacity of 300 tons or
larger, are sold around the world each year. Here are the top 5 biggest
trucks in the world:

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Par?
 Click here Click here

A couple were on their honeymoon, lying in bed and just about ready to
consummate their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband: "I have
a confession to make - I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no big thing in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yea ... I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Who was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well, he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with
him."

The husband and wife then make passionate love.

When they are done, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm hungry, I was going to call room service and get
something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed to make love a second
time.

When they finish, he gets up and goes over to the phone. "Now what are you
doing?" she asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to call room service to
get something to eat."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed, and do it again."

The guy slams down the phone, goes back to bed, and makes love one more
time.

When they finish he's tired and beat. He drags himself over to the phone,
and starts to dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods, to find out, what the par is for this damn
hole."

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Wally's Retirement
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

MY RETIREMENT IS NOT GOING AS WELL AS I HAD PLANNED;

I've been affected by the financial situation which we are all going
through.

Just like you, I am struggling hard to keep going.

I only buy rotting cheese ...

And dry meat ...

I drink old wines ...

My car has no roof ...

My bathtub is outside ...

And my friend has almost nothing to wear ...

But here I am, still coping and struggling.

I'M TRYING MY BEST TO ENDURE!

I hope things will improve.

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Yellow 24
 Click here

A man goes into a doctor's office feeling a little ill.

The doctor checks him over and says, "We'll have to do some blood tests."

A day later the doctor rings him with the results.

"Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty virus. 
It's called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you usually
only have 24 hours to live.  There's no known cure so just go home and
enjoy your final precious moments on earth."

So he trudges home to his wife and breaks the news.

Distraught, she asks him to go to the bingo with her that evening as he's
never been there with her before.

They arrive at the bingo and with his first card he gets four corners and
wins $35.  Then, with the same card, he gets a line and wins $320.  Then he
gets the full house and wins $5000.  Then the National Game comes up and he
wins that too getting $780,000.

The bingo caller gets him up on stage and says, "Son, I've been here 20
years and I've never seen anyone win four corners, a line, the full-house
and the national game on the same card.  You must be the luckiest bastard
on Earth!"

"Lucky?" he screamed.  "Lucky?  Do you know I've got Yellow 24?"

"Bugger me,"says the bingo caller.  "You've won the meat raffle as
well!!!"

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HALLELUJAH (The Largest Virtual Chorus is Just Amazing)
Do you know what a virtual chorus is? It's when you take people from all
around the world, and record them singing together. This amazing chorus is
both real, and is also the largest virtual chorus ever attempted, with
harmonies joining in from all over the world. Together, they create some
unique, beautiful, and undoubtedly memorable music.
 Click here

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Look closely at photo 1 ....THEN photo 2.
 Click here Click here

LOOK CLOSELY AT PHOTO 1

This is an interesting, even breathtaking couple of photos.
Be sure to read the 1st caption below picture before going to the 2nd
photo.
Look closely at the first photo take your time. Then scroll down

Look at the picture above and you can see where this driver broke through
the guardrail, on the right side of the culvert,
where the people are standing on the road, pointing....

The pick-up was traveling about 75 mph from right to left when it crashed
through the guardrail.

It flipped end-over-end bounced off and across the culvert outlet,
and landed right side up on the left side of the culvert,
facing the opposite direction from which the driver was traveling..

The 22-year-old driver and his 18-year-old passenger were unhurt except for
minor cuts and bruises.

Just outside Flagstaff , AZ , on U.S. . Hwy 100.

Now look at the second picture below...

If it's not your time, it's not your time!

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Exercise & Running
 Click here Click here Click here

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Links & Photos
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Wingsuiter meets his Maker
 Click here

Weeping Scotsman
 Click here

Jihadist gets Run Over by Ex-Girlfriend
 Click here

Nissan – GTR 2017 Engine Assembly
 Click here

Yad Vashem (Remembering the Six Million)
 Click here

100 Jokes by 100 Comedians
 Click here

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Links & Photos
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Prepare for Impact
 Click here

Ricochet (Ping Pong Concerto – 27min)
 Click here

Tricky Backflip (While Playing the Drums)
 Click here

6,000 Matches
 Click here

Glass (Imagine the advances they have made since 2011)
 Click here

4WD and Boat goes over Wooden Bridge (Oldie)
 Click here
 
World's 10 Most Dangerous Roads
 Click here

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Fighter beats the Sh*t out of other Guy (X)
 Click here

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Molocow Milk Bottle
 Click here

Last week, the Issyk-Kul Milk Produce Company, of Bishkeb, in Kyrgyzstan,
released a new milk bottle, to celebrate the upcoming anniversary of The
1897 Cow Abduction Hoax by aliens, on the 19th April. The bottle has been
called the Molocow Spacial Edition and features flying cows, with Alien
Flying Saucers as lids. Somebody has put a lot of effort into this.

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[ End friday humour ]

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