Friday humour - December 25, 2015

Happy Holidays

Wishing you all a safe and happy holiday season and a wonderful year  I
need to share a serious note with you all today before I start with the
humour

With the holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with
my family & friends about drinking and driving. As you may know some of us
have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on
the way home after a "social session" out with friends.

Well, three days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several
beers, followed by some rather nice red wine. Feeling jolly I still had
the sense to know that I may be over the limit. That's when I did
something that I've never done before .. I took a cab home!

Sure enough on the way home there was a police road block, but since it was
a cab they waved it past. I arrived home safely without incident. This
was a real relief and surprise because I had never driven a cab before. I
don't even know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know
what to do with it!!!

Thanks to Anonymous 3 Burnout, Seasoldier, Wally Whizzbang, Arfemo, haz and
Sack  for all the contributions this week.

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Richard Thompson - Sights And Sounds - Scottish TV 99 - YouTube
 Click here

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A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Brisbane.
'The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us
sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your
stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be
disastrous,
and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our
drinking water.
However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all
have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that
causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?'
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised
his hand, and softly said,
'Wedding Cake?!'

____________

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club
with a breathtakingly beautiful and very s*xy 25-year-old blonde-haired
woman who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful s*x appeal and
charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.
His mates at the club are all aghast.
At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, 'Bob, how'd you get the
trophy girlfriend?'
Bob replies, 'Girlfriend? She's my wife!'
They are knocked over, but continue to ask.? So, how'd you persuade her to
marry you?'
'I lied about my age', Bob replies.
'What, did you tell her you were only 50?'
Bob smiles and says, 'No, I told her I was 95.'
__________________

A man went to church one day and afterward he stopped to shake the
preacher's hand.
He said, 'Vicar, I'll tell you, that was a damned fine sermon. Damned
good!'

The Vicar said,
'Thank you sir, but I'd rather you didn't use profanity.'

The man said, 'I was so damned impressed with that sermon I put five
Thousand dollars in the offering plate!'

The Vicar said, 'No sh*t?'

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Autoflick: 1927 PEUGEOT with park assist

Nothing is new under the sun first Peugeot with park assistance 1927.
 Click here

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LEXOPHILIA - WHO ON EARTH DREAMS THESE UP?
Why, a lexophile of course!
How does Moses make tea?   Hebrews it.
Venison for dinner again?   Oh deer!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.  Details are sketchy.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crpes.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Typo.
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop any
time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never
met herbivore.
When chemists die, they barium.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity.  I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns.  It was a play on words.
Why were the Indians here first?  They had reservations.
I didn't like my beard at first.  Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she
couldn't control  her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
Broken pencils are pointless.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary?  A thesaurus.
I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen.  The police
have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Velcro - what a rip off!
Dont worry about old age; it doesnt last.

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The  Irish Interview

Murphy applied for a fork lift operator post at a famous Irish firm based
in
Dublin. A Norwegian applied for the same job and since both applicants had
similar qualifications, they were asked to take a test and led to a quiet
room with no interruptions by the Manager.
When the results were in, both men had scored 19 out of 20.
The manager went to Murphy and said, "Thank you for coming to the
interview,
but we've decided to give the Norwegian the job.
Murphy, "And why would you be doing that? We both got 19 questions correct.
This being Ireland and me being Irish surely I should get the job.
Manager, "We have made our decision not on the correct answers, but on the
question you got wrong.
Murphy, "And just how would one incorrect answer be better than another?
Manager "Simple; on question number 7 the Norwegian wrote down, 'I don't
know.
You put down - Neither do I.

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A MESSAGE FROM THE QUEEN

To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty
Queen Elizabeth II.

In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates
for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves, we hereby give
notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You
should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except North Dakota, which
she does not fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America
without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:

-----------------------

1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,'
'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut'
without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced
by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your
vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').

------------------------

2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such
as
''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let
Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted
to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of
'-ize.'

-------------------

3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.

-----------------

4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers,
or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows
that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for
shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or
speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.

----------------------

5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more
dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if
you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.

----------------------

6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start
driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will
go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion
tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the
British sense of humour.

--------------------

7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been
calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.

-------------------

8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries
are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are
properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and
dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.

-------------------

9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually
beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as
beer,
and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as
Lager. South African beer is also acceptable, as they are pound for pound
the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer.
They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them.
American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that
all can be sold without risk of further confusion.

---------------------

10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good
guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play
English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialect in
Four
Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed
with a cheese grater.

---------------------

11. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of
proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American
football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or
wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).

---------------------

12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host
an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of
America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your
borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will
let you face the South Africans first to take the sting out of their
deliveries.

--------------------

13.. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.

-----------------

14. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's
Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies
due (backdated to 1776).

---------------

15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with
saucers,
and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus
strawberries (with cream) when in season.

God Save the Queen!

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Farm girl looking for romance - Adults Only Please
 Click here
Hey! I really doubt that she's 17 years old as she claims. :) And be
careful.

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British Humour
 Click here

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German Wunderland

Pretty amazing

Remember the two brothers, in Germany, who had a wonderful model railway
that was something to see? This is an update for their German Wonderland.

A short review, it was started by two brothers as a place to show their
hobby began to grow by leaps & bounds. Soon they were joined by other
'Model
Railroad Clubs' and other craftsmen. Some were electricians, model makers,
carpenters, computer programmers.
Their wives would stop by to see what they were doing and usually bring
them a lunch.

One thing led to another. Three of the ladies had worked at a bakery,
several visitors would ask if they had a snack bar. The idea was planted;
some of the carpenters came and built a nice restaurant area for the bakery
and a kitchen, too. If the fresh coffee smell didn't get you, then the
bakery definitely would.
Over 400,000 man hours were spent making this dream come true.

This was about 5 years ago. One of the breweries came and furnished all of
the tables and chairs, serving counter and, etc. Their latest finished area
is the airport. Planes look like they are flying and landing. GERMAN
WONDERLAND IN HAMBURG
 Click here

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Windows vs Ford

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way
computers have enhanced our lives, read on:

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the
computer industry with the auto industry and stated.

"If Ford had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we
would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, Ford issued a press release stating:

If Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving
cars with the following characteristics (And I just love this part):

1.  For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash. . . . Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a
new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason.  You would
have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off
the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.  For
some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your
car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to
reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable,
five times as fast and twice as easy to drive, but would run on only five
percent of the roads..

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be
replaced by a single 'This Car Has Performed an Illegal Operation' warning
light.

I love the next one!!

7.  The airbag system would ask 'Are you sure?'  Before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and
refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle,
turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9.  Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how
to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the
same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the 'Start' button to turn the engine off.

PS  - I'd like to add that when all else fails, you could call 'customer
service' in some foreign country and be instructed in some foreign language
how to fix your car yourself!!

Please share this with your friends who love - but sometimes hate - their
computer!!!!!

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Chuckle

As I was driving home and worrying about all the stuff going on in my life,
my familys lives, my friends' lives and what's happening in Paris,
Washington, Moscow, Ukraine, the Middle East, Justin, Trump, CBC News, the
downgrading of our military, 25,000 Syrian refugees, the terrorists
infiltrating our border, the illegals, and how our country is rapidly
losing its sanity and its Christianity, I saw a yard sign that said:

 NEED  HELP?
 CALL  JESUS  1-800-555-3787

Out of curiosity and desperation, I called the number.

A  Mexican showed up with a lawnmower.

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You won't be seeing this Christmas Commercial on TV!

The British have all the best commercials

HoHoHo!!!!
 Click here

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Italian Christmas

When you're married to an Italian...
 Click here


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Airline Announcements:
If some of these dont make you laugh out loud, you have absolutely no sense
of humor!

United Flight Attendant announced,
'People, people, we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get
in it!'

...

On landing, the stewardess said, 'Please be sure to take all of your
belongings.

If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd
like to have.'

...

'There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of
this airplane'

...

An airline pilot wrote  that on this particular flight he had hammered his
ship  into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required
the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile,
and give them a 'Thanks for flying our airline.' He said that, in light of
his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye,
thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally, everyone had
gotten off except for a little old  lady walking with a cane.

She said, Sir, do you mind if I ask you a question?'

'Why, no, Ma'am,' said the pilot. 'What is it?'

The little old lady said, 'Did we land, or were we shot down?'

...

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice
came over the loudspeaker: 'Whoa, big fella, WHOA!'

...

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a
flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, 'Please take care when
opening the overhead compartments because sure as hell everything has
shifted after a landing like that.'

...

Another flight attendant's comment on a less than perfect landing:
'We ask you to please remain seated as Captain Kangaroo bounces us to the
terminal.'

...

Overheard on an American Airlines flight into Amarillo, Texas on a
particularly windy and bumpy day:
During the final approach, the Captain was really having to fight it. After
an extremely hard landing, the Flight Attendant said, 'Ladies and
Gentlemen,
welcome to Amarillo.
Please remain in your seats with your seat belts fastened while the Captain
taxis what's left of our airplane to the gate!'

...

'Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an
emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our
compliments.?

...

'As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings.
Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight
attendants.
Please do not leave children or spouses except for that gentleman over
there.'

...

Heard on Southwest Airlines just after a very hard landing in Salt Lake
City; the flight attendant came on the intercom and said, 'That was quite a
bump, and I know what y'all are thinking. I'm here to tell you it wasn't
the airline's fault, it wasn't the pilot's fault, it
Wasnt the flight attendant's fault, it was the asphalt.'

...

After a real crusher of a landing in Phoenix, the attendant came on with,
'Ladies and Gentlemen, please remain in your seats until Capt. Crash and
the
Crew have brought the aircraft to a screeching halt against the gate. And,
once the tire smoke has cleared and the warning bells are silenced, we'll
open the door and you can pick your way through the
Wreckage to the terminal.'

...

Part of a flight attendant's arrival announcement: 'We'd like to thank you
folks for flying with us today. And, the next time you get the insane urge
to go blasting through the skies in a pressurized metal tube, we hope
you'll think of US Airways.'

...

Heard on a Southwest Airline flight - 'Ladies and gentlemen, if you wish to
smoke, the smoking section on this airplane is on the wing and if you can
light 'em, you can smoke 'em.'

...

A plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable
cruising altitude, the captain made an announcement over the intercom;
'Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight
Number 293, nonstop from New York to Los Angeles. The weather ahead is good
and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back
and relax.... OH, MY GOD!'
Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the
intercom and said, 'Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I scared you
earlier.  While I was talking to you, the flight attendant accidentally
spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my
pants!'
A passenger in coach yelled, Thats nothing. You should see the back of
mine!'

...

A man boarded a plane with six kids. After they got settled in their seats
a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked,
"Are all of those kids yours?" He replied, "No. I work for a condom
company. These are customer complaints."


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Rush Hour

Dhaka -
 Click here

Beijing -
 Click here

China Traffic -
 Click here

Shibuya -
 Click here


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Christmas World Records

I didn't know there were so many Christmas-themed world records! Some of
these are amazing achievements, while others are just amusing. Here are 18
Christmas-themed world records:

Best-Selling Christmas Single

A White Christmas, released in 1942 by Bing Crosby, has sold over 50
million copies. This figure makes it the best-selling single of all time.

Largest Gathering of People Wearing Santa Hats

Some 30,333 Los Angeles Angels baseball fans wore Santa hats together at
Angel Stadium in Anaheim, California, USA in June 2014.

Most Lights on an Artificial Christmas Tree

An artificial Christmas tree that was put up in the centre of Australian
capital Canberra, in November 2015, has no less than 518,838 twinkling
Christmas lights on it.

Highest-Grossing Christmas-Themed Film

How the Grinch Stole Christmas, which hit theatres in 2000, grossed $340
million at the box office.

Largest Collection of Santa Claus Memorabilia

Canadian Jean-Guy Laquerre has 25,104 different items of Santa Claus
memorabilia, including 2,360 figurines and 2,846 cards.

Largest Santa Claus

A 65-foot high, 23-foot wide and 13-foot deep Santa Claus stood at Norte
Shopping Centre in Sao Paulo, Brazil, during the 2013 holiday season.

Largest Floating Christmas Tree

The largest floating Christmas tree is put up annually in the Rodrigo de
Freitas Lagoon, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. It is over 278 feet tall.

Most Expensively-Decorated Christmas Tree

The value of the decorations on the Christmas tree put up in the lobby of
the Emirates Palace Hotel, Abu Dhabi, UAE between December 16th and 29th,
2010, was estimated to be over $11 million.

Largest Gathering of Santa Clauses

Some 13,471 Santa Clauses gathered in Guildhall Square, Derry, Northern
Ireland on December 9th, 2007.

Fastest Marathon Dressed as Santa Claus

The UKs Paul Simons ran the London Marathon on April 26th, 2009 dressed as
Santa Claus. He crossed the finish line in 2 hours, 55 minutes and 50
seconds.

Oldest Christmas Tree

Janet Parker, of Chippenham, UK, puts up a 12-inch high Christmas tree that
was bought for her Great Aunt all the way back in 1886.

Most Christmas Trees Chopped in Two Minutes

The USAs Erin Lavoie chopped 27 Christmas trees in two minutes on December
19th, 2008.

Longest Wish List to Santa Claus

A list of 75,954 wishes was delivered to Santa Claus at his official postal
address in Rovaniemi, Finland on December 5th, 2012. The list itself
weighed over 350lbs.

Largest Christmas Stocking

The largest Christmas stocking ever made measured over 106 feet long and 49
feet wide. It was made by the Childrens Society in London, UK, in 2007.

Largest Advent Calendar

Measuring over 232 feet high and 75 feet wide, the largest advent calendar
ever was built at Londons St. Pancras train station in December 2007.

Most Nationalities in a Nativity Play

Some 55 nationalities took part in a nativity play staged by Reverend Irfan
John at the Wales Millennium Centre in Cardiff, Wales on November 30th,
2013.

Biggest Game of Secret Santa

Boots UK Limited organized the biggest-ever Secret Santa on December 18th,
2008. The game had 1,270 participants.

Largest Christmas Bauble

The largest Christmas bauble in the world measures 13.77 feet in diameter,
and was made by Sergio Rodriguez of San Pedro Garcia, Mexico, in December
2000.

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Does it Snow at Your Place?

Experience a White Christmas in your very own front yard, by entering your
address into:
 Click here

Simply enter House Number, Street Name, and Suburb eg 15 Smith Street,
Hermit Park (Thats all, no postcode, no state, no country only works in
Australia)

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Merry Christmas 2015
 Click here

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Can Ya Help My Friend
 Click here

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Tortoise v. Hare
 Click here
IF YOU DON'T LAUGH AT THIS ONE .............TAKE A COUPLE OF DAYS OFF!

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Trips down memory lane - way down! TCH
 Click here

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More Garage Doors
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

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Laughs for the Day
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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New airline.... Book early!!
 Click here
I will see all of you on board!

WELCOME TO TPA (Terrorist-Proof Airlines)
TPA is in the safe-flying business!
We can absolutely guarantee no walk-on GUNS, KNIVES, SHOE-BOMBS,
SUICIDE-BELTS  or other weapons will EVER be carried onto our flights! Book
your next flight with TPA ...... The safest in the flying industry!

And if a Muslim sees a naked woman he is obliged to commit suicide... So
you're perfectly safe with us!

Please forward to your friends! We need passengers!!

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Stringing the Christmas lights for the ex
 Click here
HO! HO! HO!

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This is worth a big smile

IN GOD WE TRUST

Love a good Catholic joke ... (Mother Angelica)

An old nun, who was living in a convent next to a construction site,
noticed the coar*e language of the workers and decided to spend some time
with them to correct their ways. And so, she decided she would take her
lunch and sit with the workers. She put her sandwich in a brown bag and
walked over to the spot where the men were eating Sporting a big smile, she
walked up to the group and asked: "And, do you men know Jesus Christ?" They
shook their heads and looked at each other, very confused...One of the
workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out, "Anybody up there
know Jesus Christ?" One of the steelworkers yelled down , "Why?" The worker
yelled back," Cause his mom's here with his lunch."

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Why 4 Feet 8.5 Inches is Very Important
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Railroad Tracks The U.S. Standard railroad gauge (distance between the
rails) is 4 feet, 8.5 inches.

That's an exceedingly odd number.  Why was that gauge used?

Because that's the way they built them in England, and English expatriates
designed the U.S. Railroads.

Why did the English build them like that?
Because the first rail lines were built by the same people who built the
pre-railroad tramways, and that's the gauge they used.

Why did 'they' use that gauge then?

Because the people who built the tramways used the same jigs and tools that
they had used for building wagons, which used that wheel spacing.

Why did the wagons have that particular Odd wheel spacing?

Well, if they tried to use any other spacing, the wagon wheels would break
on some of the old, long distance roads in England, because that's the
spacing of the wheel ruts.

So, who built those old rutted roads?

Imperial Rome built the first long distance roads in Europe (including
England) for their legions. Those roads have been used ever since.

Therefore, the United States standard railroad gauge of 4 feet, 8.5 inches
is derived from the original specifications for an Imperial Roman war
chariot.
In other words, bureaucracies live forever.

So the next time you are handed a specification, procedure, or process, and
wonder, 'What horse's ass came up with this?',

Imperial Roman army chariots were made just wide enough to accommodate the
rear ends of two war horses.

Now, the twist to the story:

When you see a Space Shuttle sitting on its launch pad, you will notice
that there are two big booster rockets attached to the sides of the main
fuel tank.

These are solid rocket boosters, or SRBs.

The SRBs are made by Thiokol at their factory in Utah.

The engineers who designed the SRBs would have preferred to make them a bit
larger, but the SRBs had to be shipped by train from the factory to the
launch site.

The railroad line from the factory happens to run through a tunnel in the
mountains, and the SRBs had to fit through that tunnel.

The tunnel is slightly wider than the railroad track, and the railroad
track, as you now know, is about as wide as two horses' behinds.

So, a major Space Shuttle design feature of what is arguably the world's
most advanced transportation system was determined over two thousand years
ago by the width of a horse's ass.

And you thought being a horse's ass wasn't important!

Now you know, Horses' Asses control almost everything.

Explains a whole lot of stuff, doesn't it?

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Under the Microscope
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Have  you  ever  given  any  thought to what every day things look like
under a microscope? Some of these images are truly beautiful.

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Links & Photos
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Coober Pedy ╄ Australian Town Underground
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Man Plays Sax while undergoing Brain Surgery
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Big Ones
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Military Christmas Lights (2014)
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Elvis Presley, Martina McBride (Blue Christmas)
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Google Search 2015
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Wedding with a Difference
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Drift (Ford Mustang vs Lamborghini)
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Christmas Day
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Christmas is an important day, but I didn't know it had such historical
significance as well. Here are 13 of the most important historical events
ever to occur on Christmas day.

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The Winner is ...... Rush Nour
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The 2015 Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards
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Wrapper
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The Morning After The Zoo's Christmas Party
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John Bramblitt - Blind Artist
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In 2001, John Bramblitt lost his eyesight after an epileptic episode.
Shortly after, Bramblitt started painting in a most interesting way: By
using textured paint, John can tell where he painted and what, allowing him
to virtually ?see? the painting. The resulting paintings are a thing of
beauty, rivaling and even surpassing art created by artists with perfect
sight.

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9yo Jack Churchman
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Links & Photos
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Flash Mob: The U.S. Air Force Band at the Smithsonian
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2015 - Remembering Pearl Harbor
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The Five Strings Flash Mob (Only Last Week)
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2015 News Bloopers
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2015 ╄ Year in Review
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Smartphone Tips
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What People are Eating for Christmas
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14 X 2015 Inventions
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Technology overwhelms us over and over again each passing year, and for
2015, this was no exception. From apps that can lock your front door, to
gadgets that can stop you from snoring, and toys that will amuse your young
ones, this year has been packed with truly innovative creations. It goes
without saying, we're a year closer to the futuristic world we have always
envisioned. Here are 14 surprising inventions that caught our eyes during
2015.

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Naked Dancers and Drones
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[ End friday humour ]

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