Friday humour - October 30, 2015


Gussius @ Bluehaze

Have a happy Halloween everybody!

That greeting, of course, applies to all bodies both alive and dead. Which
reminds me of a story. It should also apply to the brain dead who still
walk amongst us.

A while back, in a ‘previous’ life, I was working at a kindergarten
when a parent called to complain about proposed dress-ups in Halloween
fashion. The teacher had planned to do a trick or treat themed day for the
children which on the face of it, seems harmless enough.

The parent however, objected on the grounds that she tried to bring her
child up as a good Christian and disliked Halloween because it involved
celebrating witches, ghosts and dead people rising from the dead. Well dear
reader, you probably see where this is going.  I tried empathy by
acknowledging that good Christians don’t worship dead people who probably
lived thousands of years ago, like those heathens did. Not to mention any
random holy ghosts. I didn’t get to the biblical bit about the
resurrection of JC and the hoards of saints that came back to life at
Easter.

And of course those heathens hand out dreadful bite size chocolates as
treats to neighbourhood kids; not wholesome chocolate eggs and fluffy
bunnies like real Christians.

So please beware of Vampires and Happy Clappers at this time of the year

Contributions this week rolled in from Anonymous3, Arfermo, Duke of
Barsinov, KRP, Sack, Seasoldier, Wally, Whizzbang and the ever faithful
anon.


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Exercise to prevent leg and knee pain:

This was forwarded to me by a doctor who works in Ougabanga ,not far from
the Robertson's house in British Columbia, Canada.
He shows what I should do daily to help leg and knee pain.
Once a day is sufficient... Assured success !
 Click here

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PHOTOS THAT WILL MAKE YOU SMILE!!!:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

Be more kind than necessary, for everyone you will meet today is fighting
some sort of battle.

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Creations only nature could make:

Baikal Ice Emerald
 Click here

Frozen Bubbles
 Click here

Frozen Lighthouse On Lake Michigan Shore
 Click here

Folded Snow
 Click here

Frozen Flower Buds
 Click here

Frozen Lakes
 Click here

Ice Blossoms
 Click here

Frosted Lace
 Click here

Flower after Ice Storm
 Click here

Frozen Tree
 Click here

After Freezing Rain in China
 Click here

Frozen Pond
 Click here

Frost on the Fence
 Click here

Frozen Berries
 Click here

Frost Flowers in the Arctic Ocean
 Click here

Frosted Pine
 Click here

Frozen Grass
 Click here

Icicles on the Blooming Apple Tree
 Click here

Grass after Freezing Rain
 Click here

Frost Flowers
 Click here

Icicle Bush
 Click here

Leaf after Freezing Rain
 Click here

Snow Roller
 Click here

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Prank telemarking:

Incredible stuff.
 Click here

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Surprise Opera in an Italian School Lunch Hall:

This is fantastic! Will put a smile on your face. Check out Pavarotti on
right side wow  School lunch in Italy - Best thing is to watch is the kid's
faces.
 Click here

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20 Things That Will Make You Say NOOOOOOO:

Thought you might like these: x
 Click here

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Not Only In Canberra; Saudi Arabia Too:
 Click here

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The Torah Scholar:

A young woman brings home her fiancee to meet her parents. After dinner,
her mother tells her father to find out about the young man. The father
invites the fiancee to his study for a drink. "So what are your plans?" the
father asks the young man.

"I am a Torah scholar," he replies.

"A Torah scholar. Hmmm," the father says. "Admirable, but what will you do
to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in, as she's accustomed
to?"

"I will study," the young man replies, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she
deserves?" asks the father.

"I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replies, "God will
provide for us."

"And children?" asks the father. "How will you support children?"

"Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replies the fiancee.

The conversation proceeds like this, and each time the father questions,
the young idealist insists that God will provide.

Later, the mother asks, "How did it go, Honey?"

The father answers, "He has no job and no plans, but the good news is he
thinks I'm God."

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Best commercial I've seen in ages!!!:

Some say the beer commercials are the best, others favor auto or insurance
commercials. Don't make up your mind until you watch this one!!!
Very creative and a high rate of difficulty...
I wonder how many takes it took to have this video perfect.
 Click here

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Rare WWII Facts:

The first German serviceman killed in the war was killed by the Japanese.

Over 100,000 Allied bomber crewmen were killed over Europe.

More U.S. Servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps.

Polish Catholic midwife StanisÅawa LeszczyÅska delivered 3,000 babies at
the Auschwitz
Concentration camp during the Holocaust in occupied Poland.

In World War II, British soldiers got a ration of three sheets of toilet
paper a day.
Americans got 22.

In 1941, more than three million cars were manufactured in the United
States.
Only 139 more were made during the entire war.

Four of every five German soldiers killed in the war died on the Eastern
Front

Only 20 percent of the males born in the Soviet Union in 1923 survived the
war.

In World War II, the youngest serviceman in the United States military was
Calvin
Graham - age 12. Graham lied about his age when he enlisted in the US Navy.
His real
Age was not discovered until after he was wounded. (Unbelievable)

Only one out of every four men serving on U-boats survived.

The Siege of Stalingrad resulted in more Russian deaths (military and
civilian)
Than the United States and Britain sustained (combined) in all of World War
II.

To avoid using the German sounding name 'hamburger' during World War II,
Americans used the name 'Liberty Steak.'

Adolf Hitler's nephew, William Hitler, served in the US Navy during World
War II !!!

Adolph Hitler and Henry Ford each kept a framed picture of the other on his
desk.

During World War II, the largest Japanese spy ring was actually located in
Mexico.

The mortality rate for POWs in Russian camps was 85 percent.

Had it been necessary for a third atom bomb, the city targeted would have
been Tokyo.

An Imperial Japanese Army intelligence officer, who fought in World War II,
Hiroo Onoda never surrendered in 1945. Until 1974, for almost 30 years, he
held his position in the Philippines. His former commander traveled from
Japan to personally
Issue orders relieving him from duty in 1974. (???)

Total casualties for World War II totaled between 50 - 70 million people,
80 percent of which came from only four countries - Russia, China, Germany
and Poland.
Over 50 percent of the casualties were civilians, with the majority of
those being women and children.

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E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG:

PLEASE SEE THE PICTURE OF OUR DOG AT THE END OF EMAIL!

IN RESPONSE TO ALL THE RECENT E-MAILS ABOUT OUR DOG, PLEASE BE ADVISED, WE
ARE SICK AND TIRED OF ANSWERING QUESTIONS ABOUT OUR DOG!
"YES, HE MAULED TWENTY SIX PEOPLE WEARING BURKAS,
FOURTEEN PEOPLE WEARING LONG BLACK BEARDS,( some were women I might add!!)
THREE PEOPLE WEARING TURBANS,
NINE TEENAGERS WITH PANTS HANGING PAST THEIR CRACK,
THREE FLAG BURNERS, AND A PAKISTANI TAXI DRIVER.
FOR THE LAST TIME .... THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE !"

NO, I DO NOT APPROVE OF HIS SMOKING, BUT HE SAYS IT HELPS GET THE 'BAD
TASTE'
OUT OF HIS MOUTH!

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Pope:
 Click here

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Afghan tipper truck:
 Click here

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Classic motor car hijacking:
 Click here

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Wow.....What a Rescue!: [XXX]

Firemen & police from all over joined in a team effort to rescue a young
girl stuck in a steel fence near Bronte.

Fireman from all over, including Burlington, Milton, Hamilton, and
Mississauga attended the scene and in all 12 vehicles & forty five
emergency personnel were involved.

It took several hours to extract her from her predicament.
Fire Chief Tim Whisler said, 'This was a pretty tricky rescue, it took us
quite a while to come up with a plan to safely extract her from the steel
fence.'

Though painful, the girl's entrapment was never life threatening, it did
take a great deal of careful planning & a lot of gentle handling to safely
extract her.

She was taken to Oakville Trafalgar hospital where she was examined & later
released bruised but unharmed. Poor little thing, this picture just about
broke my heart .......

God bless those police & firemen.

Heroes, every one of them!

We seldom give our public servants enough credit for the job they do!
 Click here

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The reason I'm leaving face book:
 Click here

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Exotic travel:

My wife and I decided to go on an organised trip to Afghanistan, to see for
ourselves what the place was like.

It didn't start well as the train we were travelling on broke down just a
few miles south of the station.

We found ourselves stranded in a scary hell hole where no one around us
spoke any English.

The train, and surrounding streets were full of Muslims, angry bearded
types glared at us,

The wife stood out in her brightly colored sun-dress, All the local women
were draped in black head to toe, burqas. We were extremely scared and
convinced that we were in deep trouble.

Just then, Jenny our group leader ushered us off the train and round the
corner from Bankstown Station to the bus terminal, where we continued our
journey safely to Sydney Airport.

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Male Ponderings:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

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Flying over Australia:
 Click here

NASA astronaut Scott Kelly shares a series of seventeen stunning
photographs, he took from International Space Station, during a flyover of
Australia.
 Click here

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Women Drivers:
 Click here

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Links & Photos:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

Circle of Light - Russia
 Click here

Floating City in China
 Click here

10 X Archaeological Discoveries  Click here

Shin Lim (Brilliant Card Tricks)  Click here

Colours of Jerusalem
 Click here

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Colourful Sayings:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

A great compilation of 'colourful' sayings. So enjoy them and keep them for
a rainy day, you never know when you may need to make someone smile.

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8 X Beach Waste Art:

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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Guess?:
 Click here Click here

Try to guess what military event in WWII this insignia celebrates.

Answer Below: It’s very easy to figure out, when you see the answer.

Atomic Bomb dropped on Japan in WWII

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Day at the Beach in Australia over the years:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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[ End friday humour ]

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