Friday humour - May 15, 2015


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From: Burnout
Mrs Brown's Dog....

Mrs. Brown's Dog is very old and not very well at all. The Family is trying to figure out how to tell her the dog must be put down.
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From: Clooney's Twin
Religion
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From: Clooney's Twin
What a tosser.
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From: Clooney's Twin
Joe Hockey delivers the 2015 Feral Budget before the knives are
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From: Duke of Barsinov
A Chuckle
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 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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From: Seasoldier
truth of the day
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From: Seasoldier
Washing machine joke
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From: Wally
2 Men Arrested for Stealing a Road
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NANTONG, China - A concrete public road in eastern China has lost its entire 
top layer, by two men who illegally dug it out, and sold the slabs
to line their own pockets. A road in Nantong - the whole 410m of it - stolen
in just two days, went headlines in Chinese newspapers, about the unusual case.
According to Guancha, a Shanghai-based newspaper, the rural road in Nantong 
city, about 130km north-west of Shanghai, was completed in 2008, and
was in good condition. The theft was discovered some two weeks ago, by a
villager, who called the local police, to inquire why the road had been
suddenly shorn of its surface. When a check with the village committee confirmed
that there was no plan to remove the road, the police studied pictures filmed
by roadside cameras, and spotted a farm vehicle that had been used to
transport the slabs. The owner of the vehicle, who's surname is Gu, owned up,
when he was approached by the police, saying: As this road was not often
used, I thought I might as well dig out some stuff, and make some money.
Gu said he hatched the plan early this month, and secured the help of a friend
surnamed Yang. Equipped with an excavator and a truck, the two dug out more than 630 
tonnes of concrete slabs in two days, and sold them to a quarry for $2,600.
But the police arrested them before they split the money. Gu has been
detained since his arrest, and Yang is out on bail.

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From: Wally
Philip Hansen's Story
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A court has heard how a woman had six of her bottom teeth removed with
pliers, and her wisdom teeth, removed with a screwdriver.

Philip Hansen is facing 11 charges, including assault and s*x charges, some 
of which involved using pliers to pull out teeth, from three
separate victims.

Hansen has pleaded not guilty to the charges, which span over a period of 
more than 20 years, and are said to have occurred at various locations
in the Hutt Valley area in Wellington, New Zealand.

Today, a police video, was played to the jury of nine men and three women

In the video, a woman, whose identity has been suppressed, explained how 
she took a drive with Hansen one evening.

She said they parked up, and moved to the back seat of the car, to have sex.

She alleges Hansen then pulled out a pair of pliers, and an oily rag.

She alleged that while holding her against the door, Hansen then removed 
six of her bottom teeth with a pair of pliers, and threw them outside
the car window. He used the oily rag to stop the bleeding, she said.

The woman said although she had been drinking, she did not consider herself 
to be heavily intoxicated.

"After that sixth tooth came out, I got him to stop ... I was getting sore, 
and I didn't want him to go any further.

She said she later had her remaining teeth removed at a dentist, at Hansen's 
request.

Once her teeth were removed, and dentures were fitted, she said her wisdom 
teeth started to come through.

She alleged Hansen removed her wisdom teeth with a screwdriver.

"He had a screwdriver in his hand, he then tilted my head back ... after
that he had grabbed the screwdriver, and started digging at the back of my 
gums, to try and get out these wisdom teeth."

She said he gave her a glass of whiskey to dull the pain.

The woman also alleged that Hansen would destroy her dentures, by snapping 
them, or flushing them down the toilet, and blaming the cat.

The woman said while this was going on, she was too afraid to say anything.

Earlier this morning, in her opening address, Crown prosecutor Sally Carter 
said throughout the trial the jury would hear evidence about
Hansen's bizarre fascination, and obsession, with women's teeth.

He liked his women without teeth.

Ms Carter told the jury, that Hansen liked his women to be gummy ladies.

The trial before Judge Bruce Davidson continues.

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From: Wally
Real Images
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It's Hard to Believe These Images are Real
It is said that A picture is worth a thousand words and such a saying holds 
water most of the time, but some pictures are even more powerful
than others. Many artists resort to using special lenses and even
manipulating the pictures with computer programs such as Photoshop, but this
collection of images is 100% real ... and truly magnificent.
 Click here

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From: Wally
Links & Photos
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Two Tigers
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Your Life on Earth (Interesting)
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Senior Precision Roller Skating (Hava Nagila)
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The Nazi Mascot
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Honey on Tap
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From: Wally
Links & Photos
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12 Amazing Locations With Google Street View
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They are still Dancing (Oldie, but a Goodie)
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Shep the Drone Sheepdog
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How NOT to load a Tank
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Sights & Sounds of the Amazon
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Airbag Helmet for Bike
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From: Wally
Playboy
 Click here Click here
Playboy Only $399

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From: Wally
2015 Photo of the Year
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From: Whizzbang

Your Politically Incorrect Joke for the Day!

What do you call the first Afghan off the boat?

Amhere

What do you call the second Afghan off the boat?

Amhere Azwel

What do you call the third Afghan off the boat?

Amhere Azwell Azhim

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From: Whizzbang
And Dad wants Me to Play Football
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From: Whizzbang
it never ends
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Whizzbang
Fracking Explained
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[ End friday humour ]

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