Friday humour - May 08, 2015

From Burnout @ Bluehaze:

From: KRP
Subject: Get Home And Tidy-Up Your Room!!!
Parental discipline;
 Click here

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From: Sack
Subject: a chicken and a horse

On the farm lived a chicken and a horse who loved to play together.
One day the two were playing,
when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink.
Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the
farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm..
Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer,
but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor.
Running around, the chicken spied the farmer's new Harley.
Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of
rope hoping he still had time to save his friend's life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken
arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of
rope the chicken tossed to him.
After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer's bike, the
chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike,
rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse,
and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned.
The friendship between the two animals was cemented:
Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too,
began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life!
The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle.
Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thing and he
would then lift him out of the pit.
The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out,
saving his life.

The moral of the story, (yep, you betcha, there IS a moral!)
"When You're Hung Like A Horse, You Don't
Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks." .

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Subject: Grave humor

A tourist in Vienna is going through a graveyard and all of a sudden he
hears music.  No one is around, so he starts searching for the source.

He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a
headstone that reads: "Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770- 1827".
      Then he realizes that the music is Beethoven's Ninth Symphony and it
is being played backward!
Puzzled, he leaves the graveyard and persuades a friend to return with him.
By the time they arrive back at the grave, the music has changed. This time
it is the Seventh Symphony, but like the previous piece, it is being played
backwards. Curious, the men agree to consult a music scholar. When they
return with the expert, the Fifth Symphony is playing, again backwards. The
expert notices that the symphonies are being played in the reverse order in
which they were composed, the 9th, then the 7th, then the 5th.
By the next day the word has spread, and a crowd has gathered around the
grave. They are all listening to the Second Symphony being played backward.
Just then the graveyard's caretaker ambles up to the group. Someone in the
group asks him if he has an explanation for the music.
"I would have thought it was obvious," the caretaker says."He's
decomposing."

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From: Whizzbang
Subject:  Roll Call First day at School

First day back at school in Birmingham, UK., the teacher began calling out
the names of the pupils :

"Mustafa Al Eih Zeri ?" - "Here miss."

"Achmed El Kabul ?" - "Here miss."

"Fatima Al Hayek ? " - "Here miss."

"Ali Abdul Olmi ?" - "Here miss."

"Mohammed Bin Kadir ?" - "Here miss."

"Ali Son al En", silence in the classroom.

"Ali Son al En" - continued silence as everyone looked around the room.

The teacher repeated the call.

A girl stood up and said, "Sorry, miss, I think that's me. It's pronounced
Alison Allen

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From: Clooney's Twin
Subject: Snack time & the selfie shoe.
 Click here Click here

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From: Duke of Barsinov
Subject: You Gotta Love Women with a Sense of Humor!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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From: Nottingham Smithie
Subject: Old Chinese Proverb
Confucius say, " If you are in a book store and cannot  find the book for
which you search, you are  obviously in  the.....
 Click here

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From: Wally
Subject: Links & Photos
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Permission to Board Sir
 Click here

Chinese Female Military (Oldie, but a Goodie)
 Click here

Making Japanese Sake
 Click here

Alaskan Drop
 Click here

Andy Gross (In elevator with half a body)
 Click here

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From: Wally 
Subject: Oldies
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Subject: Links & Photos
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

LA Air
 Click here

Cowboys vs Dinosaurs (Trailer)
 Click here

Tourist Destinations for the Criminally Insane
 Click here

Subject: What is the longest 6 hit in Cricket?
 Click here

What is the longest 6 hit in Cricket? 478 Kilometres.

When South Africa made their international return after 21 years in
isolation, Adrian Kupier was 32, and his best years were behind him.
However, on the 10th November 1991,in the first ODI against India, Kupier
scored 43 - hitting one enormous six, which the Eden Gardens crowd stood up
to applaud - out of his side's total of 177, and he later picked up the
wicket of Kapil Dev. Now back to that six, it went out of the ground, and
landed in a train carriage. The ball was later discovered still in the
carriage, when it reached the city of Patna, some 478 kilometres away. It
was eventually traced back to Eden Gardens, and went into the record book,
as Kupier's big hit.

Subject: Links & Photos
 Click here Click here

Nepal - Before & After Quake (Click each photo)
 Click here

Self-Steering Bullet
 Click here

Antarctica (Amazing Photography)
 Click here

The Colours of China
 Click here

Subject: Vehicles from Mad Max - Fury Road
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Subject: 15 X Wedding Vehicles
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Cars You Don't Usually See at Weddings.
Have you ever met a girl who dreams of getting married in a tank? How
about a tractor? Well we haven't either, but in today's world of
over-the-top wedding ideas and unusual themes, everything is possible.
These pictures show that some people really are willing to do some crazy
things in the name of love.

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 Quote of the Week:

"Education is a progressive discovery of our own ignorance."
- Will Durant.

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[ End friday humour ]

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