Friday humour - April 17, 2015
An Emergency Call Center worker has been fired in
Toronto, Ontario, much to the dismay of her colleagues,
who are reportedly unhappy with her dismissal.
It seems that a caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating,
"I am depressed and lying on a railway line so that when the train comes I
can finally meet Allah."
To which the call center employee replied,
"Remain calm and stay on the line."
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From: KRP
Great Photographs
Click here
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From: Nottingham Smithie
not bad
Click here
this must have taken some rehearsal
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From: Seasoldier
Dr. Young & Dr. Geezer
An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time, became very
bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that
said:Dr. Geezer's clinic. "Get your treatment for $500, if not cured get
back $1,000."
Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know
beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get
$1,000.
So he went to Dr. Geezer's clinic.
This is what transpired.
Dr. Young: ---"Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can
you please help me ??"
Dr. Geezer: ---"Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3
drops in Dr. Young's mouth."
Dr. Young: --- Aaagh !! -- "This is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will
be $500."
Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days
figuring to recover his money.
Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything."
Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3
drops in the patient's mouth."
Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, -- that is Gasoline!"
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That
will be $500."
Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back
after several more days.
Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak --- I can hardly see !!!!
Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so -- "
Here's your $1000 back."
Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..."
Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will
be $500."
Moral of story--Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you
can outsmart an old "Geezer " !!!
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From: Seasoldier
The call
The home phone rings and 'the wife' answers.
A pervert, with heavy breathing, says:
I bet you have a tight ass, with no hair.
The woman replies: Why yes, I have.
He's watching TV... Whom shall I say is calling?
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From: Whizzbang
Railway automation
Click here
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Funny Dog Signs
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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From: Clooney's Twin
My favourite actress
Click here
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From: Clooney's Twin
This could be a kindergarten in SM
Click here
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From: Clooney's Twin
So little thyme on my hands
Click here Click here
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From: Clooney's Twin
Worth a read.
Click here Click here
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From: Wally
Links & Photos
Click here Click here Click here
Like a Bird on a Wire
Click here
65 Perfectly Timed Military Photos
Click here
Spectacular Photos
Click here
$40 Million Watch
Click here
10 Most Expensive Things Brought Online
Click here
Tasmania
Click here
Game Show Answers
Click here
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From: Wally
Senior Calendar & Senior Moments
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here
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From: Wally
Two British Heroes
Click here Click here
The Two Craziest, Most Courageous
Chaps Ever? Tales of Two British Heroes
Part 1 - Lieutenant Colonel John Churchill (The only soldier to kill an
enemy soldier, with a bow & arrow, in World War 2)
Click here
Part 2 - Major-General Carton de Wiart VC
Click here
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From: Wally
Icelandair Flight 671
Click here Click here Click here
This is the incredible photo, showing the nose of a plane, completely blown
out by a lightning strike.
Icelandair Flight 671 bound for Denver, USA was hit by lightning shortly
after take off, from Keflavik International Airport in Reykjavik, Iceland.
There was a loud bang, a pop, and a bright light, the crew said.
However the captain, unaware of the gaping hole, assured passengers
everything was OK, and continued on its 6000km journey to Denver. It was
only once the plane had landed, that passengers and crew noticed the damage
to the aircraft.
A statement from the airline confirmed the incident, and added during
departure from Keflavik International Airport, the Boeing 757 aircraft used
for Icelandair flight 671 was struck by lightning.
The aircraft handling characteristics and notification systems were
unaffected, and the flight continued.
Lightning strikes are common in the area, and protocol was followed. There
was no cause for further concern, and the flight landed without issue. This
aircraft was replaced upon landing, and is being evaluated.
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From: Wally
World Borders
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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From: Wally
Links & Photos
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here
Airplane Parodies
Click here
World Maps
Click here
Condor Ferries Safety Rap
Click here
Thomson Airways Safety Video
Click here
Air New Zealand Safety Video
Click here
Animal Encounters on a Golf Course
Click here
Star Trek Renegades (Official Trailer)
Click here
St Bernard Dog
Click here
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From: Wally
Airlines With the Best Economy Class
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here
Airlines With the Best Economy Class
If youve flown before, you know that economy class often means cramped
seats, minimal leg room, overpriced mediocre food, and slow service. While
most of us cant afford to buy a seat on business class (not to mention
first class), there are some companies that still offer a high level of
comfort for economy class prices.
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From: Wally
USB Stick for Seniors
Click here
Soon it will be compulsory for the elderly, to not only carry their ID with
them, but also their insurance papers, their list of medication, and a
compact version of their medical history, their views about resuscitation
after a cardiac arrest etc. So, when an older person wants to go out, he or
she will need to carry a lot of paperwork. That is why there has been
developed a special USB stick for seniors. Available soon, but only on
Prescription.
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From: Wally
Aircraft Knowledge
Click here Click here Click here
This should be an easy quiz for those who have even a modic*m of knowledge
about aircraft
However, the answer may surprise you . . .
The Question:
"What is the primary advantage of rotary winged aircraft over fixed-winged
aircraft?
Yeah, I got it wrong as well!
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From: Whizzbang
Veterinary Jokes
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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The Parking Ticket
Working people frequently ask us retired people what
we do to make our days interesting.
Well, for example, just the other day my wife and
I went into town and visited a shop.
When we came out, there was a parking meter
cop writing out a parking ticket.
We went up to him and I said, 'Come on, man,
how about giving a senior citizen a break?'
He ignored me and continued writing the ticket.
I called him an a--hole . He glared at me and started
writing another ticket for having worn-out tires.
So Bev called him a s--t head. He finished the
second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.
Then he started writing more tickets.
This went on for about 20 minutes.
The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.
Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it
and went home.
We try to have a little fun each day now
that we're retired. It's important at our
age.
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[ End friday humour ]
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