Friday humour - February 06, 2015

My Sweet Tooth Says I Wanna (But My Wisdom Tooth Says No) - Fletcher
Henderson & His Orchestra - YouTube
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From: Nottingham Smithie
Supplemental Income

Normally I don't give a sh*t, but in this case I might join the movement
 Click here

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From: Nottingham Smithie
The Aisle, The Altar, The Hymn

Through the ages, men have been trying to unlock this mystery:  Why do their wives, who accept them just as they are before they get married, begin
the quest to change their behaviour and life-style once their vows are
exchanged?  Finally, the riddle is solved.

A social-scientist has arrived at this simple and logical explanation. When the bride, accompanied by her father, starts to walk slowly down the
long aisle, she sees the altar at the end and hears the choir singing a
hymn.
Walking down the aisle, the conditioning process starts where the brain
absorbs these three stimuli: Aisle, altar, and hymn.She becomes mesmerized as she continually reinforces these perceptions: Aisle, altar, hymn...
Aisle, altar, hymn... Aisle, altar, hymn.

And finally, as she stops beside the groom, the conditioning process is
complete.   She looks up at him smiling sweetly and keeps saying to herself:
"I'll alter him!"  Here Endeth The Lesson. 'peace be with you'

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From: Sack
   Touching Story

        A small boy named Hameed lived in a village in Morocco. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his
teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!!!"

One day Hameed's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply
a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a
dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the
feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!

25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open
heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform...... Left with no
other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was
successful......

When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome
doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him
something but eventually died!

The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw our friend Hameed, working as a cleaner
in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his
Hoover!!!!!

don't tell me you thought that Hameed became a doctor !?!

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From: Seasoldier
Speed control Click here

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From: Nottingham Smithie
FOOD FOR THE SOUL..
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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 Click here

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From: Sack
AUSTRALIE MAGIQUE....
 Click here
Volume on.

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From: Sack
The main stream media
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From: Sack
Ha Ha
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From: Sack
PM's list
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From: Sack
News Headlines
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From: Sack
So how did the PM's big speech go
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From: Sack
Cattle truck in Australia ...
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Graffiti for the times
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From: Sack
Largest Salt Flat in the World
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I thought that you might find this interesting.  I didn't even know it
existed!

  The Salar de Uyuni is the world's largest salt flat at 10,582 square kilometers 
(4,086 sq mi) and it's a major
tourist destination in the South American country of Bolivia. The Salar is
virtually devoid of any wildlife or vegetation but it is home to an estimated
10 billion tons (9.8 billion LT) of salt.

  But what is no less incredible, is where
people who visit this amazing place stay, and how does one build something in the 
middle of the vast emptiness. The answer is quite remarkable.

  Anyone arriving to visit this exotic part of the world is in for a real treat 
and a stay in one of the world's
most unique hotel experiences. Due to a lack of conventional
construction materials in this area, many of the hotels here are built
entirely with salt blocks cut from the Salar itself. The most famous one is called
Palacio de
Sal, Spanish for "Palace of salt".

  The hotel is made of about 1 million 35-cm (14-inch) salt blocks, which were 
used for the floor, walls, ceiling
and furniture, including the beds, tables, chairs and sculptures. The
hotel even has a dry sauna and a steam room, a saltwater pool and whirlpool
baths for guests to relax in and fully enjoy this unreal place.

  Imagine what it feels like, sleeping on salt beds, sitting on salt chairs and 
even eating at salt tables. And
while no one can deny how beautiful everything in this hotel is, that beauty
is nothing compared to the view=E2?=A6

  The salt flats are so white and clear they often show a perfect reflection 
of the sky and the objects above them.
In fact, because the Salar is so flat and has such a strong reflection,
similar to that of ice sheets, it is used for calibrating the distance
measurement equipment of satellites in space!

  The white, endless flats also offer visitors a unique opportunity to take 
some truly mind bending pictures. With
no other objects in sight, the human eye loses its ability to establish a
proper field of depth. The results are some of the most creative and
bizarre pictures you will ever see=E2?=A6

  The salar is truly a place like no other, a magical kingdom of salt and 
beauty where one can drive on the endless
flats and see the sky both above and below him. It is just one of many
places on earth that prove that beauty has no rules and that nature always has
one more trick up her sleeve.

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From: Seasoldier

DIFFERENT KIND OF AN AIR-SHOW

Hold on to your desk chair, best viewed full screen with a HD
monitor.  This one is waaaay more than just an air show!!!

These fly boys are nuts
 Click here
This was in Cameron, Missouri .

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From: Wally
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Sheriffs Office at 9pm Tonight

Early this morning, at 4am, a semi-trailer, carrying an immense haul of
Maruchan Instant Noodles fell asleep at the wheel, and collided with an
overpass bridge, in North Carolina. The vehicle split in half, and left
thousands of ramen packages on I-95. No one was hurt, but traffic was shut down for eight hours, and meanwhile the noodles "were all taken to a
local landfill," reports Nash County Sheriff Keith Stone, which we all know
is code for "don't forget to bring poached eggs, and plenty of chopped
green onion, to the sheriff's office tonight at 9.00pm."

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From: Wally
 Click here Click here

Worlds Largest BBQ for Sale, on eBay

only $350,000

eBay - 
 Click here

YouTube - 
 Click here

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From: Wally
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Coffee Recipes from Around the World
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14 Ways to Open a Bottle of Beer
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From: Wally
Bugs, S*x, & Beer
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It was a case of a besotted male and beer. Love-sick and lonely, the male 
girded his loins, and took immediate action to relieve his unhappiness,
but with a surprising outcome.

The male in question, an Australian jewel beetle (Julodimorpha bakewelli), 
became so enamoured with a brown stubby beer bottle, that he tried to
mate with it, so vigorously that he died trying to copulate in the hot
sun, rather than leave willingly, says Professor Darryl Gwynne of
biology, an international expert in behavioural ecology, specifically
the evolution of reproductive behaviour.

Gwynne and his colleague David Rentz, were awarded an Ig Nobel Prize at
Harvard University for their 1983 paper Beetles on the Bottle. Male
Buprestids mistake Stubbies for Females.The Ig Nobel Prizes, a parody of the
Nobel Prizes, are awarded annually by the scientific humour magazine Annals 
of Improbable Research, to first make people laugh, and then make
them think.The prizes are intended to celebrate the unusual, honour
the imaginative, and spur peoples interest in science, medicine, and
technology.

Gwynne and Rentz were conducting field work in Western Australia 23 years ago, 
when they noticed something unusual along the side of the road. We
were walking along a dirt road, with the usual scattering of beer cans
and bottles, when we saw about six bottles with beetles on top or
crawling up the side. It was clear the beetles were trying to mate with the
bottles.

The bottles, stubbies as they are known in Australia, resemble a super
female jewel beetle, Gwynne says. Big and orangey brown in colour, with a 
slightly dimpled surface near the bottom, designed to prevent the
bottle =66rom slipping out of ones grasp, that reflects light in much
the same way as female wing covers. The bottles proved irresistible to males.
Ignoring the females, the males mounted or tried to climb up the bottles, refusing
to leave. They fried to death in the sun, and were then eaten by hungry
ants.

Gwynne and Rentz determined that the males were attracted only to stubbies, 
not to beer cans or wine bottles of a slightly different shade of brown.

Beer and s*x humour aside, the research has serious messages, Gwynne says.
First, when humans interfere, in an evolutionary process, there can be
unintended consequences. In this case, female beetles are ignored by males, 
which can have a huge impact on the natural world. Improperly
disposed of beer bottles not only present a physical and visual hazard in the
environment, but also could potentially cause great interference with the 
mating system of a beetle species, the paper says. To that end,
Gwynne forwarded research results to a leading western Australian
brewer.

And secondly, Gwynne points out that the research supports the theory of
s*xual selection, that males, in their eagerness to mate, are the ones 
that make mating mistakes.

Gwynne conducted his research as a post-doctoral fellow at the University of
Western Australia. The research was published in the journal of the
Entomological Society of Australia.

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From: Wally

Dingo News
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From: Wally
Tennis - 2015 Australian Open
1st Semi Final - Djokovic v Abrams Tank
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From: Wally
Photos
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 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
When next your ring is stuck on your finger........try this
 Click here

Your  ring is stuck on your finger.
The Doctor said he needed to cut the finger to remove the ring.
The Goldsmith said he needed to cut the ring to remove it.
What did the Engineer do?
Check the video.

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From: Whizzbang
Only in Aus
 Click here

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[ End friday humour ]

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