Friday humour - August 22, 2014

Ballerina Magician ....amazing!

Beautiful and charming Ma Yan Yan combines magic and ballet for a
fascinating show at 'Amazing Chinese 2014
 Click here

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20 Magical tree tunnels
 Click here

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"The Mountain"

It is filmed at El Teide, Spain's highest mountain, which is known as one
 of the best places to film stars.
This amazing time-lapse video was shot over a period of seven days at El
Teide, Spain's highest mountain. While we're living our daily lives, so m
any of us forget the beauty that is all around us, but this video is a true
reminder of just how wonderful nature is! After watching this, all I want
 to do is travel and see the the world!
Make sure you turn your speakers up and watch this on a big screen, and
please SHARE the beauty with your friends!
 Click here

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From: Nottingham Smithie

I thought it was another seaside tragedy when I saw the headlines
" Young Lad tossed off Cliff " it just goes to show you never know what
danger lurks in the shadows.

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From: Sack
Sick at Church

A little nine year old girl was in church with her mother when she starte
d feeling ill.
"Mommy" she said "Can we leave now?"
"No" her mother replied.
"Well, I think I have to throw up!"

"Then go out the front door and around to the back of the church and 
throw up behind a bush."
In about two minutes the little girl returned to her seat.
"Did you throw up?" her mother asked.
"Yes" the little girl replied.

"Well, how could you have gone all the way to the back of the church and 
return so quickly?"
"I didn't have to go out of the church, Mommy" the little girl replied,
"They have a box next to the front door that says ...............
"For the Sick"

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From: Wally
That Word
That Word (Oldie, but a Goodie ... Wally)
 Click here

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From: Nottingham Smithie
Koala on the beach
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

Spotted at Amity Point on Stradbroke Island - a young koala running up an
d down the beach, and playing around the kids like a puppy. Other
koalas w
ere sitting in trees close to the beach unafraid of humans.Then, he
decides t
o go into the water for a tub! He went about 20m into the sea, swam
around 
for a good half hour fascinating onlookers, before coming back to the
beach.
 We have never heard of or seen this behaviour before: a koala who likes
to 
"play" with humans, and swim in the ocean.

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From: Nottingham Smithie
photo
 Click here

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From: Sack
Fishing Trip Invitation?
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

I know you old sailors would be interested in this one.
I have a feeling that I might have invited you previously, but you had 
already made other arrangements.
(A dream of all anglers!)
A friend of mine is planning a fishing excursion from Nome , Alaska to the 
Bering Sea next week.
This is not a normal fishing boat jaunt. This is 5-star stuff. All gear, 
food, booze, supplied. The works!
Relax in the spa pool and watch the sun set over Saint Lawrence Island th
en gather around the piano and the well-stocked bar for an evening of
romantic something.

Expressions of interest are invited for this 'once-in-a-lifetime' 
experience.
Publicity photographs attached. Let me know if you want to go?

This looks like fun!

Limited seats available................waiting on your reply...........
 Don't see anybody outside ......They must be at the bar!

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From: Sack
A street cat named Bob
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

Too Too delightful!
Englishman James Bowen had an unsettled upbringing. While in school, he w
as sniffing glue and eventually was diagnosed with ADHD, schizophrenia
and manic depression.After living in Australia for a while, he returned
to England in 1997. He was 18 years old and when living with his half-siste
r didn't work out, he began a life of either living on the street or
in shelters. James life revolved around his heroin addiction and
busking on the streets of London. In early 2007, James tried to drag himself up
by enrolling in a Methadone programme. He was living in sheltered
accommodation and one day returned home to find a ginger tom cat in his building.
Figuring it belonged to one of the other residents, he didn't pay too much
attention. 
The next day, the cat was still there. James asked around and found no 
answers as to the animal's ownership. On closer inspection, he discovered
a wound on the cats leg and decided to take it to the vet and get it treated. 
And so James adopted the cat, who he named Bob. Since then, Bob has led 
James into a public life. Together they have become celebrities. It began
when Bob started following James everywhere. He joined James busking on 
the street and James income rapidly increased. 
 Click here
million-pictures.jpg> 
He began to attract more and more attention. Tourists would visit his spo
t just to see the cat, who was happy to dress up and sit still.
 Click here
They went everywhere together on foot 
 Click here
And on public transport. 
 Click here

You Tube videos appeared and newspapers got hold of the story. This led to 
a publishing agreement and James started writing about his experiences
with Bob on the streets of London. Apart from A Street Cat Named Bob,
The World According To Bob, a number of books for children have also been written. 
Sold worldwide, James's life has improved. Together they have become 
celebrities. 
 Click here

And their teamwork is certainly causing a stir.
 Click here
The books have been translated into numerous languages. More than a milli
on have been sold. Theres also news that a movie will be made about the two 
of them. Still living in London, James still loves busking and a
healthy looking Bob goes too, efficiently taking care of the publicity.
 Click here

A lovely good news story! Sources: Wikipaedia. Photos: 1,000, 000 Pictures 
Facebook page. See more at
 Click here 


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From: Sack
DETROIT STEEL
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Today's cars may be faster, safer, more luxurious and get better gas 
mileage -
BUT THEY DON'T EVEN COME CLOSE ON LOOKS !

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From: Seasoldier
Apology
 Click here

Please accept my apologies for the lack of posts/e-mails.
I have found a new circle of friends, and I just don`t seem to have much 
time on my hands anymore.
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From: Wally
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

The Blonde & The Light Globe
 Click here

Different way to do Crosswords
 Click here

How to Cook Fish
 Click here

America's Test Kitchen
 Click here

Tatiana Kundyk on the Slackline
 Click here

I Don't Look Good Naked Anymore
 Click here

Flowers Opening
 Click here

Boys & their Toys
 Click here

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From: Wally
Know Your Enemy
 Click here

THE ISLAMIC STATE (IS)

formerly THE ISLAMIC STATE OF IRAQ AND SYRIA (ISIS)

The Islamic State, a hard line Sunni jihadist group that formerly had tie
s to al Qaeda, has conquered large swathes of Iraq and Syria. Previously
known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS), the group has
announced their intention to re-establish the caliphate, and declared their leader,
the shadowy Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi, as the caliph. Flush with cash and US
weapons seized during recent advances in Iraq, the Islamic States expansion
shows no sign of slowing down. In the first week of August alone, Islamic
State fighters have taken over new areas in northern Iraq, encroaching
on Kurdish territory, and sending Christians and other minorities fleeing, as
reports of massacres emerged. Elsewhere in territory it has held for some
time, the Islamic State has gone about consolidating power, and setting up a 
government dictated by Sharia law. While the world may not recognize the 
Islamic State, in the Syrian city of Raqqa, the group is already in the 
process of building a functioning regime. News reporter Medyan Dairieh sp
ent three weeks embedded with the Islamic State, gaining unprecedented
access to the group in Iraq and Syria, as the first and only journalist to
doc*ment its inner workings. In part one, Dairieh heads to the frontline in
Raqqa, where Islamic State fighters are laying siege to the Syrian Army's
division 17 base.
Part 1 -
 Click here

Part 2 -
 Click here

Part 3 -
 Click here

Part 4 -
 Click here

Part 5 -
 Click here

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From: Wally
So God made a Dog
 Click here Click here
And on the 9th day God looked down on his children,
and said they need a companion So God Made A Dog.
(This is good ... Wally)
 Click here

Bonus
So God made a Farmer
 Click here

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From: Wally
Only in Belfast
 Click here

A UK Air Accidents Investigation Branch report revealed an incident, in 
which a pilot was landing a small commuter jet in Belfast, when his arm f
ell off. The 46-year-old pilot, described by Flybe as among is most
experienced and trusted pilots, wears a prosthetic limb, and said that he
believed he had securely fixed the arm in place earlier, but with heavy winds, once
he deactivated the Dash 8 aircraft's autopilot, as he prepared to
land the plane, that's when the arm troubles began. Asked why a pilot with
only one arm was flying a plane in the first place, Flybe's safety
director, Captain Ian Baston, said that the budget airline had a policy of equal 
opportunity employment, and therefore in common with most airlines, we do
employ staff with reduced physical abilities. The pilot lost control of
the plane only briefly, and still guided it to a safe and bumpy landing
using one arm. He promised to secure his arm better in the future.

The Funnies that followed (They always do)

The aircraft landed safely. No 'arm done

He landed safely, right? I say, Give that man a big hand

Did he lose the first arm the same way?

5 will get you ten, this incident gets worked into the script of the next
 
Sharknado film

So now we are arming pilots?

Yep. Armalite's, apparently.

Really Disarming news

Great, a new arms race.

His arm came off? Dammit. Don't you hate it when that happens

I heard that the police tried to arrest him for endangering the public, b
ut they didn't have a leg to stand on.

He really went out on a limb for that one.

Apparently he has been fired for being too detached from his job.

I'm sure it's perfectly armless.

I wasn't interested in this thread at first, but now I'm hooked.

His co-pilot was quoted as saying I've really got to hand it to him.

It's good to know there are people risking life and limb for passenger 
safety.

Was the co-pilot disarmed as well?

I predict safety experts will all be up in arms about this incident.

Was the c*ckpit guilty of armed robbery?

Have to arm them first. Then they can be disarmed.

He should still have a place in the c*ckpit. He could be the pilot's 
right-hand man.

Now don't go pointing the finger.

I guess he should hand off the job to another pilot.

I've always felt that all pilots should be well-armed

It starts with an arm, what's he going to lose next? We can't have pilots
 falling apart while flying. This guy should be grounded.

If he had crashed the plane, the families would of been up in Arms about 
it!

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From: Wally
Flatula Backfire
 Click here Click here

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From: Wally
Only in Texas
 Click here

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From: Wally
Why you dont buy swimwear Made in China (XXX)
 Click here

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From: Wally
Links & Photos
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

Tulip Season
 Click here

Alex Pirvu
 Click here

Wing Suit Flyer meets his Maker
 Click here

How to make a Heart Egg
 Click here

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From: Wally
Compassion 1 & 2
 Click here Click here
1 - Compassionate Dog
 Click here

2 - Compassionate Dog vs Non-Compassionate Humans
 Click here

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From: Wally
Only in Western Australia
 Click here Click here Click here

It happened 140km east of Cunderdin, on the Perth to Kalgoorlie, Great 
Eastern Highway, in Western Australia. A culvert was being installed acro
ss the road, with a detour gravel road graded around the whole area.
The truckie has just gone clean on through the detour signs, and
straight int
o the trench. Luckily he survived with minor injuries. Check out the
third picture.

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From: Wally
Ebola Virus
 Click here Click here
Everything you need to know about the Ebola Virus
 Click here

(It worries me that 73% of the Australian population, live inside the line
.... Wally)

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From: Wally
Thighmove
 Click here

The new sport of Thighmove is becoming so popular,
that the Olympic Games Committee has decided,
to include it in the 2016 Rio Olympic Games.

The current World Record is held by the 16 year old
Yusi Miamoto (above white), with the 10m covered in 6.83 seconds. Nobody
else appears to attain the speed Yusi does, with her arm flapping motion.

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From: Wally
25 Powerful Photos
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Missionary reaching out to starving boy.

Heart surgeon after a 23 hour heart transplant with very litt
le resources and only one assistant (who is currently sleeping in the
corner ).

12 year old Brazilian boy playing the violin at the funeral of 
the teacher that helped him escape poverty.

Russian soldier playing an abandoned piano, Chechnya, 1994.

This teen just found out his brother was killed.

Christians form a protective circle around praying Muslims in
the midst of the 2011 uprisings in Egypt.

Fire-fighter making sure a koala has water after the horrible
bush fires of 2009, Victoria, Australia.

Female soldier reunited with her daughter after serving in Iraq 
for 7 months

Zanjeer was a heroic dog that saved thousands of lives during
the Mumbai blasts of 1993 by detecting more than 3,329 kg of
explosive material, 249 hand grenades, 600 detonators and 6406 
rounds of ammunition. 
He died in 2000 and was buried with many honours and attendants.

The man who jumped from from the towers on 9/11.

Child trying to get his alcoholic father to stand.

These lovers embraced one last time as a factory collapsed on
their heads.

Leao the dog sits for the 2nd consecutive day at the burial 
site of its owner, who died in a landslide.

A Russian veteran of WW2 finally finds the old tank in which 
he spent most of the war. It was standing as a monument in a small town.

The famous "Wait For Me Daddy" photograph taken in New 
Westminster, Canada, 1940.

Flower power: Protesting the Vietnam War, 1967.

A woman sits amidst the wreckage caused by a massive earthquake 
and ensuing tsunami, northern Japan, 2011.

The Graves of a Catholic woman and her Protestant husband, 
Holland, 1888

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From: Wally
Nawal Masada's Story
 Click here

A dopey bird arrested at Heathrow with $50,000 stuffed down her knickers,
has been cleared of attempting to fund terrorism in Syria.
Nawal Msaad, 22, was stopped as she tried to board a flight to Istanbul. 
Police believed she was carrying the cash to ISIS.
But a jury decided she had been duped into becoming a mule by an old scho
ol friend, whose husband is fighting with ISIS.
Msaad said she thought the money was to help pay for a deposit on a house, 
and set up a beauty business in Turkey.
So she agreed to hide the 50 grand in cash down her pants. As you would do.

Perhaps she thought a little extra padding, would make her derriere look 
like her role model J-Lo.
Certainly, she turned up at court every day dressed like a diva, in 
skin-tight tops, and micro-skirt. She even stuck a Chanel logo on her ankle tag.
The woman who conned her into carrying the money was convicted of 
fundraising for terrorism.
If Msaad had ended up in Syria, ISIS would have taken a dim view of her 
immodest dress sense.

Shed have been lucky not to have been stoned to death, and I dont think 
Chanel do burkas.

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From: Wally
Cute Parenting Moments
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

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From: Whizzbang - true!
 Click here

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[ End friday humour ]

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