Friday humour - February 14, 2014

Gussius @ Bluehaze

Whether you are buried under a mountain of snow (USA), washed away by
floods (UK) or half burned out by bushfires (OZ), we wish a Happy
Valentine’s Day to all our readership of hoons and hoonettes. As we say
Downunder, ‘here’s wishing ya 5 times’.

This week contributions got past NSA surveillance and found their way to us
from Anonymous3, Burnout,  Digi Maria, Nottingham Smithie, Sack, Seasoldier, 
Wally, Duke of Barsinov, Whizzbang an anon.


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Feeling les miserable this valentines day?:
 Click here Click here

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Get ready for Valentines Day:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

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Valentines day - something for everyone:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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More valentines romantic stuff:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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American Car Show in Sweden:

So that is where my old car is!
The largest car show in the world. 20,000 American cars.
The show covered 3 Sq. Miles
 Click here

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Vietnam POWs -- 40 years later :

If you are proud of the USA and our POW's don't miss this one. It will
touch your heart and may make you cry. A different take on Richard Nixon
than what we're used to hearing.
 Click here

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D*ckens Cider...:
 Click here

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Lexophiles...:

"Lexophile" is a word used to describe those that love using wordsin rather
unique ways,such as/"you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish",/or/"to
write with a broken pencil is //pointless."/A competition to see who can
come up with the best one is held every year.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end:

When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

The batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

A boiled egg is hard to beat.

When you've seen one shopping Centre you've seen a mall.

Police were called to a day care Centre where a three-year-old was
resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose whole left side was cut off? He's all
right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.

When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.

/And the cream of the wretched crop:/

Those who get too big for their pants will be exposed in the end.

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Blind Faith...:

A young Catholic girl went to confession and said to the priest, "I'm
pregnant."
He asked, "How did this happen, my child?"
She said, "I think it must have been the second coming."
The priest, shocked by this reply, asked, "What makes you think this has
anything to do with the Second Coming?"
She replied, "Because I swallowed the first one!!"

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The Pastor:

An Alabama pastor said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation
has spread a rumour that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan.

This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate.

I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.

Now, I want the party who said this to stand and ask forgiveness from God
and this Christian family."

No one moved.

The preacher continued, "Do you have the nerve to face me and admit this is
a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel
glory. Now stand and confess your transgression."

Again, all was quiet.

Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop a
runaway train rose from the third pew. Her head was bowed and her voice
quivered as she spoke,

"Reverend there has been a terrible misunderstanding. I never said you were
a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told a couple of my friends that you
were a wizard under the sheets.."

The preacher fell to his knees, his wife fainted, and the congregation
roared.

Life is Short. Smile while you still have Teeth.

Give me an "Amen" Brother!!

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Better than Google Earth:

I thought that Google Earth was good, but this is even more precise. Check
it out, pretty scary to know they can find you anywhere. I'm not surprised
to learn that such technology exists. It uses your IP address and finds the
exact location of any Internet user in seconds. It uses a sophisticated geo
based algorithm to do so.

Try it and find your PRECISE location on the earth, then watch your screen
as the system briefly analyses your data...then displays your PRECISE
location. Your location will pop up in a new window in about 10 seconds or
less.

Click on the link below......
 Click here

Amazing, I still don't believe it.

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This says it all:

I suppose they have to justify the employment of all their civil servants?
If there was a shred of doubt the world is totally insane, this will remove
it.
Only Divine intervention can restore us to sanity.

Pythagoras' Theorem:.......24 words.
Lord's Prayer: ..................... 66 words.
Archimedes' Principle: .............67 words.
Ten Commandments: ..................179 words.
Gettysburg Address: .........................286 words.
US Declaration of Independence : ............1,300 words.
US Constitution with all 27 Amendments: .........7,818 words.
EU Regulations on the sale of CABBAGES: .............26,911 words

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Stuck upstairs:

My wife, children and I have been sitting upstairs in our Somerset home,
totally cut off from the outside world, with the downstairs flooded for the
last five weeks. Today the Red Cross pulled up outside in a boat. "Thank
God!" I shouted "Have you come to save us?"

"No," They replied "We're collecting donations for Syria."

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Eating in the 1950s:

Pasta had not been invented.
Curry was a surname.
A takeaway was a mathematical problem.
A pizza was something to do with a leaning tower.
Bananas and oranges only appeared at Christmas time.
All crisps were plain; the only choice was whether to put the salt on or
not.
A Chinese chippy was a foreign carpenter.
Rice was a milk pudding, and  never, ever part of our dinner.
A Big Mac was what we wore when it was raining.
Brown bread was something only poor people ate.
Oil was for lubricating, fat was for cooking
Tea was made in a teapot using tea leaves and never green.
Coffee was Camp, and came in a bottle.
Cubed sugar was regarded as posh.
Only Heinz made beans.
Fish didn't have fingers in those days.
Eating raw fish was called poverty, not sushi.
None of us had ever heard of yoghurt.
Healthy food consisted of anything edible.
People who didn't peel potatoes were regarded as lazy.
Indian restaurants were only found in India ..
Cooking outside was called camping.
Seaweed was not a recognised food.
"Kebab" was not even a word  never mind a food.
Sugar enjoyed a good press in those days, and was regarded as being white
gold.
Prunes were  medicinal.
Surprisingly muesli was readily available, it was called cattle feed.
Pineapples came in chunks in a tin; we had only ever seen a picture of a
real one.
Water came out of the tap, if someone had suggested bottling it and
charging more than petrol for it, they would have become a laughing stock.

The one thing that we never ever had on our table in the fifties Was
elbows!

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Wise:

APHORISM:    ("A short, pointed sentence that expresses a wise or clever
observation or a general truth")

1. The nicest thing about the future is that it always starts tomorrow.
2. Money will buy a fine dog but only kindness will make him wag his tail.
3. If you don't have a sense of humour you probably don't have any sense at
all.
4. Seat belts are not as confining as wheelchairs.
5. A good time to keep your mouth shut is when you're in deep water.
6. How come it takes so little time for a child who is afraid of the dark
to become a teenager who wants to stay out all night?
7. Business conventions are important because they demonstrate how many
people a company can operate without.
8. Why is it that at class reunions you feel younger than everyone else
looks?
9. Stroke a cat and you will have a permanent job.
10. No one has more driving ambition than the teenage boy who wants to buy
a car.
11. There are no new sins; the old ones just get more publicity.
12. There are worse things than getting a call for a wrong number at 4
a.m. - for example, it could be the right number.
13. No one ever says "It's only a game" when their team is winning.
14. I've reached the age where 'happy hour' is a nap.
15. Be careful about reading the fine print there's no way you're going to
like it.
16. The trouble with bucket seats is that not everybody has the same size
bucket.
17. Do you realise that, in about 40 years, we'll have thousands of old
ladies running around with tattoos?
18. Money can't buy happiness but somehow it's more comfortable to cry in a
Cadillac than in a Ford.
19. After 60, if you don't wake up aching in every joint, you're probably
dead.
20. Always be yourself because the people that matter don't mind and the
ones that mind don't matter.
21. Life isn't tied with a bow but it's still a gift.
And REMEMBER....

"POLITICIANS AND NAPPIES SHOULD BE CHANGED OFTEN AND FOR THE SAME REASON"

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Canada - lol:

          Dear Diary:

          Aug. 12 - Moved into our new home in Napanee, Ontario. It is so
beautiful here. The hills and river valleys are so picturesque. I have a
beautiful old oak tree in my front yard. Can hardly wait to see the change
in the seasons. This is...truly God's Country.

          Oct. 14 - Canada is such a gorgeous place to live, one of the
real special places on Earth.
The leaves are turning a multitude of different colors. I love all of the
shades of reds, oranges and yellows, they are so bright. I want to walk
through all of the beautiful hills and spot some white tail deer. They are
so graceful, certainly they must be the most peaceful creatures on Earth.
This must be paradise.

          Nov. 11 - Deer season opens this week. I can't imagine why anyone
would want to shoot these elegant animals. They are the very symbol of
peace and tranquility here in Canada. I hope it snows soon. I love it here!

          Dec. 2 - It snowed last night. I woke to the usual wonderful
sight: everything covered in a beautiful blanket of white. The oak tree is
magnificent. It looks like a postcard. We went out and swept the snow from
the steps and driveway. The air is so crisp, clean and refreshing. We had a
snowball fight. I won, and the snowplow came down the street. He must have
gotten too close to the driveway because we had to go out and shovel the
end of the driveway again. What a beautiful place. Nature in harmony. I
love it here!

          Dec. 12 - More snow last night. I love it! The plow did his cute
little trick again. What a rascal. A winter wonderland. I love it here!

          Dec. 19 - More snow - couldn't get out of the driveway to get to
work in time. I'm exhausted from all of the shoveling. And that snowplow!

          Dec. 21 - More of that white sh*t coming down. I've got blisters
on my hands and a kink in my back. I think that the snowplow driver waits
around the corner until I'm done shoveling the driveway. As*hole.

          Dec. 25 - White Christmas? More freakin' snow. If I ever get my
hands on the sonofabitch who drives that snowplow, I swear I'll castrate
him. And why don't they use more salt on these roads to melt this cr*p??

          Dec. 28 - It hasn't stopped snowing since Christmas. I have been
inside since then,
except of course when that SOB "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can't go
anywhere, cars are buried up to the windows. Weather man says to expect
another 10 inches. Do you have any idea how many shovelfuls 10 inches is??

          Jan. 1 - Happy New Year? The way it's coming down it won't melt
until the 4th of July! The snowplow got stuck down the road and the
sh*thead actually had the balls to come and ask to borrow a shovel! I told
him I'd broken 6 already this season.

          Jan. 4 - Finally got out of the house. We went to the store to
get some food and a damn deer ran out in front of my car and I hit the
bastard. It did $3,000 in damage to the car. Those beasts ought to be
killed. The hunters should have a longer season if you ask me.

          Jan. 27 - Warmed up a little and rained today. The rain turned
the snow into ice and the weight of it broke the main limb of the oak tree
in the front yard and it went through the roof. I should have cut that old
piece of sh*t into fireplace wood when I had the chance.

          May 3 - Took my car to the local garage. Would you believe the
whole underside of the car is rusted away from all of that damn salt they
dump on the road? Car looks like a bashed up,
heap of rusted cow sh*t.

          May 10 - Sold the car, the house, and moved to  Arizona . I can't
imagine why anyone in their freakin' mind would ever want to live in the
God  forsaken place called Canada!

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The Buttocks:

  A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man's face was
severely burned. The doctor told the Husband that they couldn't graft any
skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate
some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body that the doctor
felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks.

 Owing to the sensitive nature of the situation...they all agreed that they
 would tell no one about where the skin came from.

  After the surgery.....

  everyone was astounded at the man's new face.  He looked more handsome
than ever ! All his
  Friends and relatives raved about his youthful appearance....especially
his mother!

  One day, while alone with his wife, and overcome with emotion at her
sacrifice. He said, 'Dear,
  I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.  How can I
possibly repay you?'

  'My darling,' she replied,  'I get all the thanks I need every time I see
your mother
  kiss you on the cheek.'

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Sack:

WE, the people of a free nation of blokes, sheilas and the occasional
w*nker. We come from many lands (although a few too many of us come from
New Zealand) and although we live in the best country in the world, we
reserve the right to bitch and moan about it whenever we bloody like.

We are One Nation but we're divided into many States.

First, there's Victoria, named after a queen who didn't believe in
lesbians. Victoria is the realm of Mossimo turtlenecks, cafe latte,
grand-final day and big horse races.
Its capital is Melbourne, whose chief marketing pitch is that "it's
liveable". At least that's what they think. The rest of us think it is 
too bloody cold and wet.

Next, there's NSW, the realm of pastel shorts, macchiato with sugar, thin
books read quickly and millions of dancing queens. Its capital Sydney has
more queens than any other city in the world and is proud of it. Its
mascots are Bondi lifesavers who pull their Speedos up their cracks to keep
the left and right sides of their brains separate.

Down south we have Tasmania, a State based on the notion that the family
that bonks together stays together. In Tassie, everyone gets an extra
chromosome at conception. Maps of the State bring smiles to the sternest
faces. It holds the world record for a single mass shooting, which the
Yanks can't seem to beat no matter how often they try.

South Australia is the province of half-decent reds, a festival of
foreigners, off season carni-folk, and bizarre axe murders. SA is the state
of innovation. Where else can you so effectively re use country bank vaults
and barrels as in Snowtown, just out of Adelaide (also named after a 
queen). They had the Grand Prix, but lost it when the views of Adelaide
sent the Formula One drivers to sleep at the wheel.

Western Australia is too far from anywhere to be relevant. Its main claim
to fame is that it doesn't have daylight saving because if it did all the
men would get erections on the bus on the way to work. WA was the last
state to stop importing convicts and many of them still work there in the
government and business.

The Northern Territory is the red heart of our land. Outback plains, cattle
stations the size of Europe, Kangaroos, Jackaroos, Emus, Uluru and dusty
kids with big smiles. It also has the highest beer consumption of anywhere
on the planet and its creek beds have the highest aluminium content of
anywhere too. Although the Territory is the centre piece of our national
culture, few of us live there and the rest prefer to fly over it on our way
to Bali.

And there's Queensland. ... While any mention of God seems silly in a
doc*ment defining a nation of half-ar*ed sceptics, it is worth noting that
God probably made Queensland as its beautiful one day and perfect the
next?? Why he filled it with d*ckheads remains a complete mystery.

Oh yes and there's Canberra. The least said the better.

We, the citizens of Oz, are united by Highways, whose treacherous twists
and turns kill more of us each year than murderers. We are united in our
lust for international recognition.
Not that we're whinging, we leave that to our Pommy immigrants.

We want to make "no worries mate" our national phrase, "she'll be right
mate" our national attitude and "Waltzing Matilda" our national anthem ..

(So what if it's about a sheep-stealing crim who commits suicide).

We love sport so much our news readers can read the death toll from a
sailing race and still tell us who's winning. And we're the best in the
world at all the sports that count, like cricket, netball, rugby, AFL,
roo-shooting, two-up and horse racing. We also have the biggest rock, the
tastiest pies, the blackest aborigines and the worst-dressed Olympians in
the known universe. And our national dress code is short shorts, thongs,
and the good old t-shirt!

We shoot, we root, we vote. We are girt by sea and p*ssed by lunchtime.
Even though we might seem a racist, closed-minded, sports-obsessed little
people, at least we feel better for it.

I am, you are, we are Australian

Unknown author

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Ye Cannae Fool A Scottish Caddy..:

During my recent golf outing, I had been slicing off the tee on every hole.
I asked my Scottish-born caddy if he noticed any obvious reasons for my
poor tee shots, to which the caddy replied:

"Aye, there's a piece of shyt on the end of yer driver !!"

I picked up my driver and cleaned the club face, at which point, the caddy
said,   "No, the other end !!"

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Mating call:

Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the
woods. All of a sudden one of the Red Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of
a small cave.

'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and
listened closely until he heard an answering,  'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo!
He then tore off his clothes and ran into the cave.

The Irishman was puzzled and asked the remaining Indian
what it was all about,.
'Was the other Indian crazy or what?'

The Indian replied 'No, It is our custom during mating
season when Indian men see cave, they holler 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' into
the opening. If they get an answer back, it means there's a beautiful squaw
in there waiting for us.

Just then they came upon another cave.
The second Indian ran up to the cave, stopped, and
hollered,
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!'
Immediately, there was the answer.
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' from deep inside.

He also tore off his clothes and ran into the opening.

The Irishman wandered around in the woods alone for a
while, and then spied a third large cave. As he looked in amazement at the
size of the huge opening, he was thinking, 'Hoo,
man! Look at the size of this cave!  It is bigger than those the Indians
found.
There must be some really big, fine women in this cave!'

He stood in front of the opening and hollered with all his
might
'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' Like the others, he then heard an
answering call,
'WOOOOOOOOO, WOOOOOOOOO WOOOOOOOOO!'
With a gleam in his eye and a smile on his face, he raced
into the cave,tearing off his clothes as he ran.

The following day, the headline of the local newspaper
read...............

(You'll like this )

NAKED IRISHMAN RUN OVER BY TRAIN!!

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At least it doesn't suck at Sochi:
 Click here
wank-and-semen-pavlichenko-compete-4297257/

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An Interesting Story:

An Interesting Story seen in the Bankstown local newspapers recently.

Local Lebanese and Asian leaders here are upset at the Liberal Party for
threatening to send back the illegal boat people and to restrict
immigration.

So this weekend they boycotted all Australian-owned businesses in the
Sydney area as a demonstration of their economic impact on the community.

The boycott was declared a success by the Lebanese community and Asian
leaders, noting that revenue in Aussie-owned businesses was down by 19%.

However, it is reported that Aussie business owners also declared the
boycott a success.

They pointed out that shoplifting was reduced by 77%, money orders sent out
of the country were down by 97%, the cost of daily clean-up and rubbish
collection, was down by 84%.

Shoppers reported that they could actually hear English being spoken
throughout the community for the first time in recent memory, and customers
actually paid for purchases with real money,
not government debit cards, or fake credit cards.

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Triple Your Age:

1  Write down your age

2  Multiply it by 259

3  Multiply the result by 39

4  Answer = Triple your Age

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What You Get When You Pour Molten Aluminium Into An Ant Hill :
 Click here

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Alan & Sandra:

Alan and Sandra lived at Peggy's Cove, Nova Scotia.

It was early winter and the lower portion of the cove had frozen over.

Alan asked Sandra if she would walk across the frozen part of the cove to
the general store and get him some smokes and beer.

She asked him for some money but he told her, "Nah, just put it on our
tab.Old man Stacey won't mind."

So Sandra, being the good wife, walked across the ice, got the smokes and
beer at the store, and then walked back home across the cove.

When she got home with the items she said, "Alan, you always tell me not to
run up the tab at
Stacey's store. Why didn't you just give me some money?"

Alan replied, "Well, Sandra, I didn't want to send you out there with cash,
when I wasn't sure how thick the ice was!"

A love story like this almost brings tears to my eyes .......

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Old picture of you:
 Click here

I found an old picture of you with  your  very  first  babysitter ....
A psychiatrist told us that this is probably where your problems all
started!

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If Only ...:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here
 
A young man's dream to be an artist was crushed when  his application to
enter the fine arts academy was rejected  .... his crushed dream turned
into a tragic nightmare for  world........ 

He painted these pictures.

The person who painted these pictures wanted to attend the Viennese academy
of Fine arts and become famous as an artist.
If he had been accepted by the academy, the world history would have been
much different.  His name was Adolph Hitler.

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Picky, Picky, Picky...:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

I just don't understand my wife.
She's always nagging me to keep things around the house fixed up…

I replaced the broken door latch on her car…

I installed new faucets in the kitchen sink…

I fixed the sagging kitchen cabinets…

I replaced the rotten steps by the front door…

She wanted a Porta-Potty" for when we went camping…

She wanted more privacy in the bathroom…

I fixed everything she wanted…
And still, she isn't happy!
There are some women you just can't please!

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Curious, isn't it?:
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 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Curious, isn't it ?  When we are surrounded by chaos & political unrest,
pictures of animals & small children bring to the surface a warm feeling,
reminding us of what is truly important.

Keep Smiling and Have A Wonderful Day

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A cat named lucky:

If you are expecting a heart-wrenching story about a cat that got run over
by a truck, lost a leg and dragged himself 100 miles after being bitten by
a snake....

W R O N G!

Meet Lucky...
 Click here

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Getting Older:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every
man.  Isn't that an ironic time for a guy to get those odds?

Old age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go
anywhere.

Old age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to
grow in the middle.

Old age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that
will get you home earlier.

A man has reached old age when he is cautioned to slow down by his Doctor
instead of by the police.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid
you.

You're getting old when "getting lucky" means you find your car in the
parking lot.

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25 Reasons to love Scotland...:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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  1.  The Architecture

  2.  The way the motorists handle wheel clampers in Glasgow

  3.  The way they cope with neighbours in Edinburgh

  4.  The escapism

  5.  The Hair Dressers

  6.  The Politics

  .and  the Protestors.
 Can  we just have a moment for the Scottish GENIUS who dared to apply
balloon  static to
Donald Trump's hairpiece

  7.  The Roadside Weather Reports

  8.  The Public Transport

  9.  The Highway Code

  10.  The Romance

  11.  The Local Papers

  12.  The way they deal with terrorists

  13.  The Sign Makers

  14.  The Pets

  15.  The soft drinks

  16.  The Emergency Services

  17.  The Weather

  18.  The knitwear

  19.  The warm welcome

  20.  The way they deal with blocked drains

  21.  The amazing mathematics

  22.  The Gadgets

  23.  The Newspaper Columnists

  24.  The Celebrities

  25.  The rail replacement service

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Sir Reginald's Marvellous Organ

      Good play on words!
      Gives a chuckle or two.  Can't beat the old organs with it's
beautiful Wood work.

 Click here

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FYI:
 Click here

- ETERNAL TRUTH

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This guy NEVER takes a sick day!> [XXX]
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here
it takes a steady hand .....

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World's Shortest Psychiatric Joke....:
 Click here

World's Shortest Psychiatric Joke - Diagnosis

A man walks into a psychiatrist's office, wearing only underwear made of
Saran Wrap.......

The psychiatrist says, Well, I can clearly see your nuts.¯

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We are on a mission from Dog:
 Click here

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Books (X):
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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Ka-Boom:
 Click here

Baghdad: A group of Sunni militants attending a suicide bombing training
class at a camp north of Baghdad, were killed on Monday, when their
commander unwittingly conducted a demonstration, on a car, that was packed
with explosives, and police officials said.

The militants belonged to a group known as the Islamic State of Iraq and
the Levant, or ISIL,
which is fighting the Shiite-dominated army of the Iraqi government, mostly
in Anbar province.
But they are also linked to bomb attacks elsewhere, and other fighting that
has thrown Iraq deeper into sectarian violence.

22 ISIL members were killed, and 15 were wounded, in the explosion at the
camp, which is in a farming area in the north-eastern province of Samara,
according to the police and army officials.
Stores of other explosive devices and heavy weapons were also kept there.

Eight militants were arrested when they tried to escape.

The militant who was conducting the training was not identified by name,
but he was described by an Iraqi army officer as a prolific recruiter, who
was "able to kill the bad guys for once".

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Hostesses Washing Russian Plane:
 Click here Click here

Note: I Can't understand Russian, but who cares?

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Train 1 - Ferrari 0:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

This Ferrari got nailed at a rail crossing in Sherman, Texas.

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Around the World.
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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Why Toyota Closed??:
 Click here Click here

In November, 2013, Toyota President and CEO, Max Yasuda, was giving a
luncheon address, to a business group, at the Toyota Altona Plant, in
Melbourne.

"Last year in 2012, we were working so hard to create conditions, whereby
we could stay in this wonderful country, and produce cars.

We had restructured the business, and despite acceding to recent union
demands, for even better wages and conditions, we were seeing a dim light,
flickering at the end of the tunnel.

We were honest with our employees, and had explained the seriousness of the
company's plight.¯

They had assured us of their cooperation, so we were determined to all pull
together, in a desperate attempt, to keep the company viable.¯"

There was an air of camaraderie. A felling of hope.¯

It was Australia Day that week, and it fell on a Thursday. On the Friday,
out of our workforce of 2418:

757 workers called in sick

568 workers just didn't turn up

431 workers were on holidays

662 workers turned up for work

That's when I finally realized, we were stuffed."

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Emergency Bra:
 Click here

The Emergency Bra's primary function is that of a conventional bra.

In case of emergency, it can be quickly and easily converted into two face
masks, without removing any clothes. In an emergency, where no specialized
respiratory devices are available, it can decrease the inhalation of
harmful airborne particles. Because the Emergency Bra masks can be securely
fixed to the head, it frees a survivor's hands to keep balance, while
running and removing objects on the way out of danger. In certain
situations, by providing the wearer with a sense of security and
protection, the Emergency Bra can reduce the chance of panic attack.

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The Last Bomb:
 Click here Click here

A bit long (nearly 40 minutes), but take some time to watch this authentic
live footage clip, of the air assault on the Japanese mainland, just before
A-Bombs on Nagasaki and Hiroshima!

This is spectacular live footage of the 3,000 mile round trip air assault
upon the Japanese mainland, with 3 bomber wings, and a host of P-51's. This
is the real way to end a war.

No matter what war footage you ever saw before, this is the real deal, and
will keep your undivided attention. The P-51 & B29 footage is remarkable.
The strafing runs by the P-51 pilots were incredible.

There are several breaks as the film canisters are changed, just wait for
the count down. (View -
Full Screen / Sound On)
 Click here

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Sochi:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

The locals in Sochi still use the old Soviet slang dikari, which means, the
savages to describe the tourists, who arrive from colder parts of Russia,
rent an apartment near the Black
Sea coast, and spend a week letting the sun wash their pallor away. The
word is a reflection of the privileged status, that once set the people of
Sochi apart from the rest of the toiling masses of the Soviet Union. Their
town was the closest thing in the USSR to Monte Carlo or Palm Beach. The
markets were packed with exotic fruit. The summer lasted nine months of the
year, and the locals knew they lived in the Soviet version of paradise.

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Daredevils:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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Masterpiece:
 Click here

Bet you don't know who painted this Masterpiece?
 Click here

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Time Magazine Photos of the Week:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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Wally's New Home:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

Only $7 Million,  Church Road, London

A magnificent Victorian listed villa of approx. 6,988 square feet. This
beautiful Victorian family home Rockmount is a sublime example of one of
the best suburban villas on Church
Road. The imposing house also boasts self contained accommodation, double
garage, off-street parking for several cars, a wonderful garden, and
detached lodge.  Walking into the house, you are immediately struck by the
array of outstanding features the house has to offer with its intricate
architraves, high ceilings, and ogival arch. Off the hallway you have the
breakfast room,
and stunning dining room, overlooking the attractive and secluded front
garden, through the bay windows. The drawing room with its parquet
flooring, and the family room, interconnect through a set of glass doors,
both with elegant fireplaces, and views over the garden. On the first floor
you have four double bedrooms, all with en-suites. Moving to the second
floor there are four further bedrooms, all with en-suites, two family
bathrooms, and a wonderful Belvedere. This offers stunning views over
London, and a perfect place to unwind and admire London. A sizeable area of
loft storage has been transformed into an amazing space ship for the kids.
The lower ground floor contains a large Billiards Room,with access onto the
garden, as well as two double bedroom self contained units, with separate
access to the house.  At the rear of the house the mature garden extends
approximately 300 feet, with the long drive way, past the tennis court,
leading down one side towards the double garage, with parking area. Here
you also have the pretty Lodge which comprises a small reception room, and
fireplace with a room on the first floor, making a perfect playhouse.

Key Features:

8 Bedrooms all with En-suites
2 Double Self Contained Units 2 Family Bathrooms
Dining Room
Breakfast Room 2 Reception Rooms
Music Room
Belvedere Room
Billiards Room
Study
Dressing Room
Wine Cellar
Play Room
Tennis Court (with lights)
Spaceship in the Attic

Church Road is a popular location which runs through the heart of Crystal
Palace. The array of bars, shops, and restaurants, available in the
triangle that serves the area. Only minutes from central London, the
Underground Rail, and Sydenham golf course.

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1 X Video Link & 21 X Photos:
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

McDonald's Chicken Nuggets - (How they are made)
 Click here

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Wonders of modern technology:
 Click here Click here Click here

        SO YOU THINK YOU'VE SEEN IT ALL....
       Now that's a f*cking bike!

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[ End friday humour ]

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