Friday humour - November 29, 2013

[ from Steve @ Bluehaze ]

It hasn’t taken our new Government long to break all but one of its core
promises, and that is looking decidedly unwell too. 10 weeks isn’t a long
time to achieve all that. What is left for the next 3 years I wonder?

This shortish collection brought to you courtesy of KRP, Nottingham
Smithie, Seasoldier, Great Gussius, Whizzbang, and the diminished anonymi.

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High-Speed Rollover

In real time;
 Click here

and in slow-motion;
 Click here

The driver was not seriously injured!

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Elf & Safety Gone Mad
 Click here Click here

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The Ten Commandments Of Marriage

Commandment 1
Marriages are made in heaven.
But then again, so is thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you
say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least a 100 grand!

Commandment 4
Married life is very frustrating.
In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens.
In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens.
In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.

Commandment 5
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one
thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one;
The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a
good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9
Marriage and love are purely a matter of chemistry.
That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.

Commandment 10
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.

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This guy is leaving a voicemail for his boss when he witnesses a minor
traffic accident.
 Click here

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Lamborghini
 Click here

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DNA test is not necessary to prove parentage in all cases
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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EU's New FISH net spec's [XXX]
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
A very HOT summer, think she is from ‘walletjies’ street in the
Nederlands.

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This Is Why You Don't Put Christmas Lights On A Palm Tree
 Click here

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Who... Who let the dogs out [XXX]
 Click here
bet that those puppies were cuddly at one time...

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Kevin had shingles.
Those of us who spend much time in a doctor's office should appreciate
this!
Doesn't it seem more and more that physicians are running their practices
like an assembly line? Here's what happened to Kevin:

Kevin walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he
had. Kevin said: 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his name, address, medical
insurance number and told him to have a seat.Fifteen minutes later a
nurse's aide came out and asked Kevin what he had....
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' So she wrote down his height, weight, a complete
medical history and told Kevin to wait in the examining room.A half hour
later a nurse came in and asked Kevin what he had. Kevin said, 'Shingles..'
So the nurse gave Kevin a blood test, a blood pressure test, an
electrocardiogram, and told Kevin to take off all his clothes and wait for
the doctor.
An hour later the Doctor came in and found Kevin sitting patiently in the
nude and asked Kevin what he had.
Kevin said, 'Shingles.' The doctor asked, 'Where?'

Kevin said, 'Outside on the truck.

Where do you want me to unload 'em??'

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My stick figure family
 Click here

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Bikers
 Click here Click here

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 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

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Oldies
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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Something to brighten up your day!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

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Dreaming of Christmas ...
 Click here

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Double gin
 Click here

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Timely!
 Click here

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      Ah-the-eah the-eah That's All (for this week) Folks!


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[ End friday humour ]

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