Friday humour - October 18, 2013

An incredible 360 degree tour of the Smithsonian

Be sure to check out the "navigation" instructions in the text of the
message.
Here is something special, a virtual tour of the Smithsonian Museum room 
by room. it's really something with a 360 degree viewing by using your
cursor.
You easily spend days/weeks looking at everything. Just marvelous for kid
s and adults. Follow the blue arrows on the floor to move into new rooms.

Shows inside and outside of the museum and there little cameras here and
there which show detailed info on certain things. If you click on the flo
ors (upper right corner) you get a floor plan of that floor and you can
click on a blue circle and go directly to that room.
Truly incredible web site. Watch it in full screen when you open this up.
Use the roller on your mouse to move in and out. Look for the "arrows" on
the floor and click on them. They take you to other places
 Click here

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From: KRP
The Longest Five Minutes Of His Life
 Click here

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From: Sack
 'You gotta be sh*ttin me
Educational moments in history

Have you ever wondered who first uttered the phrase
"You Gotta Be Sh*ttin Me?"
Well, it just so happens to have originated through the Father of America
, way back when George Washington was crossing the Delaware river with
his troops.
There were 33 men in Washington's boat. It was extremely dark and storming 
furiously and the water was tossing them about.
Finally, Washington grabbed Corporal Raymond D*cks and stationed him at the 
front of the boat with a lantern. He ordered him to keep swinging it,
so they could see where they were heading. Corporal D*cks, through
driving rain and cold, continued swinging the lantern back and forth, 
back and forth.

Then a big gust of wind and a wave hit and threw the Corporal and his
lantern into the Delaware. Washington and his troops searched for nearly 
an hour trying to find him, but to no avail. All of them felt terrible,
for the
Corporal had been one of their favorites. Sometime later, Washington and 
his troops landed on the other side, wet and totally exhausted. He
rallied the troops and told them that they must go on. Another hour later, one of
his men said, 'General, I see lights ahead.' They trudged toward the lights
and came upon a huge house.What they didn't know was that this was a
house of ill repute, hidden in the forest to serve all who came. General
Washington pounded on the door, his men crowding around him.The door swung open,
and much to his surprise stood a beautiful woman. A huge smile came across
her face, to see so many men standing there. Washington was the first to
speak,
'Madam, I am General George Washington and these are my men. We are tired, 
wet, exhausted, and desperately need warmth and comfort.'
Again, the Madam looked at all the men standing there, and with a broad
smile on her face, said, 'Well, General, you have come to the right place
.We can surely give you warmth and comfort. How many men do you
have?'
Washington replied, 'Well, Madam, there are 33 men - actually 32 of us
without D*cks.'

And the Madam said, 'You gotta be sh*ttin me.'


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From: The Great Gussius
NON P.C. - WHO CARES.........

Having an Irish mixed grill !!  New potatoes, roast potatoes, boiled
potatoes, mashed potatoes,
waffles and hash browns with chips.

Congratulations you have won either =A31000 cash or tickets to see Elvis
Presley.
Press 1 for the money, 2 for the show.......

A man walks into a crowded bar with a loaded gun and shouts "who's been
f****** my wife?"
A voice in the back shouts " you don't have enough bullets".....

My wife just asked me if her appendix scar made her look unattractive.
Apparently the response of "don't worry babe, your tits cover it" wasn't
the answer she was looking for.

A Scouser went to court accused of shagging a cat.
The judge dismissed the case  saying that in his 30 years as a judge he'd
never known a scouser put anything into a kitty!.

A bloke from Barnsley wakes up with a sore ar*e.
He goes to the shop and says to the shopkeeper "nah then, does tha' sell
ar*e cream?"
The shopkeeper replies " aye lad we do, does tha' want a Magnum or a
Cornetto?"

My wife is suffering from depression. She phoned me the other day and said
"I feel like jumping in front of a bus and you're not doing anything to
help".
So I sent her a timetable.

I cannot stand people who think they're worse off than everybody else.
My mate Don is brilliant. He had a bad accident  where he lost his voice
and both legs.
Does he make a song and dance about it?.  Does he hell!

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From: Wally
QLD vs NSW
QUEENSLAND:

The Premier of Queensland, Campbell Newman, is jogging with his dog, alon
g a nature running trail.
A dingo jumps out and attacks and kills the Premier's dog, then bites the

Premier.
1. The Premier starts to intervene, but reflects upon the movie "Bambi," 
and then realizes he should stop, because the dingo is only doing what
is natural.
2. The Premier calls the RSPCA. They capture the dingo, and bill Queensla
nd $200 testing it for diseases, and $500 for relocating it.
3. The Premier calls a veterinarian. The vet collects the dead dog, and
bills Queensland $200 after testing it for diseases.
4. The Premier goes to hospital, and spends $3,500 getting checked for
diseases from the dingo, and on getting his bite wound bandaged.
5. The running trail gets shut down for 6 months, while the Australian
Institute of Animal Management conducts a $100,000 survey, to make sure t
he area is now free of dangerous animals.
6. The Premier spends $50,000 in state funds implementing a "Dingo Awaren
ess Program" for residents of the area.
7. The Federal Government spends $2 million to study how to better treat
rabies, and how to permanently eradicate the disease throughout the world
8. The Premier's security guard is fired for not stopping the attack.
Queensland spends $150,000 to hire and train a new security guard, with
additional special training re: The Habits of the Dingo.
9. PETA (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) protests the dingo'
s relocation, and files a $5 million suit against Queensland.

NEW SOUTH WALES:
The Premier of New South Wales, Barry O' Farrell, is jogging with his dog
, along a nature running trail. A dingo jumps out and attacks his dog.
1. The Premier shoots the dingo with his State-issued pistol, and keeps
jogging. The Premier has spent $1.00, on a .380 hollow-point cartridge.
2. The crows eat the dead dingo.
And that, my friends, is why Queensland is broke, and New South Wales is
not.

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About This Aging 'Thing'
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From: Duke of Barsinov
How clever is this?
 Click here

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From: Duke of Barsinov
Monday
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 Click here Click here

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From: KRP
Photographing A Rock Climber
 Click here

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From: Sack
A Moment Before...
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From: Sack
Medical advice
 Click here

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From: The Great Gussius
Who gives a flying f....
 Click here

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From: The Great Gussius
Just a temporary American
 Click here

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From: Valerie
keep calm pictures
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From: Wally
The Fallen 10,000
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British artists Jamie Wardley and Andy Moss, accompanied by numerous
volunteers, took to the beaches of Normandy with rakes and stencils in hand, 
to etch 10,000 silhouettes representing the fallen people into the sand.
Titled The Fallen 10,000, the piece is meant as a stark visual reminder of 
the 6603 Americans, 2734 British, 946 Canadians, and 615 other
Nationalities, who died during the D-Day beach landings on June 6th, 1944
during WWII. The original team consisted of 60 volunteers, but as
word spread, nearly 500 additional local residents arrived to help with
the temporary installation, that lasted only a few hours, before being
washed away by the tide.

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From: Wally
Down But Not Out
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From: Wally
Video Links & Photos
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Little Rascals -
 Click here 

(Was Banned in 1931)
Coronation Anthem -
 Click here (Flash Mob

at Grocery Store)
Vietnam POW Dinner -
 Click here (At the White House in 

1973 & 2013)
April Fool Hoaxes - 
 Click here (Top 100 of all time)

Poo Pourri Toilet Spray -
 Click here (Brilliant Ad)

Side by Side George Younce - 
 Click here
(Funny Song)
World Travel -
 Click here
 (Heinekin Style)
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From: Wally
Voyage
 Click here

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From: Wally
Why I still read Newspapers
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From: Wally
5 X Video Links & 11 X Photos
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Henry Ford Racing -
 Click here
(Sweepstakes the 1st Ford Racer)
Octopus Hiding -
 Click here
(In a Coconut)
Patience Beard -
 Click here
(One-Legged Cheer Leader)

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From: Whizzbang
OLD GEEZER EYE TEST [XXX]
 Click here
Did you notice?
She has 12 toes!
.......Focus, man, focus

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From: Whizzbang
God's Most Beautiful...
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[ End friday humour ]

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