Friday humour - November 09, 2012

[a quick mini edit to fill the gap - webmaster]

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Rare footage of Australian Federal Treasurer, Wayne Swan's childhood has
recently surfaced...
 Click here

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Extract from 50 shades of blue

He was in ecstasy and a huge smile spread across his face as his girlfriend
moved slowly forwards and then backwards again.
Forwards then backwards. Back and forth. Back and forth.
In and out. In and out. Her heart was pounding faster now.
Her face was flushed and she moaned, softly at first, then progressively
louder. Finally, exhausted, she let out one almighty scream, then sighed
heavily and relaxed her vice-like grip!!!

"Oh! Okay! You'd better park the bloody car yourself you SMUG BASTARD!"

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I n.e.a.r.l.y shagged a Ladyboy last night.

Picked him up in a night club.  He Looked like a woman.  Smelled like a 
woman.  Danced like a woman.  Even kissed like a woman, but as we arrived
back at his apartment he reversed his car into a tight parking slot in one
fluid movement!

That's when I thought "Wait a f*cking minute..."

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Public Service Personal Development Courses

D110 Creative Suffering D120 Overcoming Peace of Mind

D130 Ego Gratification through Non Violence

D140 Whine Your Way to Alienation

D150 Creep Your Way to Promotion

D160 Feigning Knowledge - (A Career Advancement Strategy)

D170 Carrying Paper Whilst Walking Briskly

D180 Keeping Facts Out of the Management Structure

D190 Effective Stupidity

D210 How to Appear Interested (Pre-Requisite to D160)

D220 How to Create Problems

D230 Planning without Forethought (Senior Executives only)

D245 Dumb Insolence - A Practitioners Guide

D250 Speed Reading without Comprehension

D260 Agreeing with the Boss - Includes practical exercises in nodding with
an Understanding Look

Business and Career Development Courses

C115 Mis-Understanding Abbreviations - A Beginners Guide

C125 Prominence Through Under Achievements

C135 Making Purchases With Someone Else's Purchasing  Card

C145 Instilling Panic in Others - (To be taken in conjunction with D230)

C155 Indecision - Which Way Now?

C165 Backstabbing - An Introduction

C166 Vexatious Complaints - A beginners' guide

C167 Sniping your way to the top - (pre-requisite C165 and C166)

E-Learning

E177 It Was't me! - (A Guide to Blame)

E186 Cover My Back - (How to Drag Friends in on Your Mistakes)

E189 I'm Sick - (How to Call in With a Croaky Voice)

E193 It's Not My Job! - (An Introduction in How to Get Others to do Your
Work)

Heath and Safety Courses

H217 How to De-Dandruff Your Keyboard

H250 Developing Eyestrain

H350 How to Continue to Lift Incorrectly - (Annual requirement &
Pre-requisite to H422)

H422 Industrial Injury - The Way to Long Term Leave with Pay

H501 How to De-Frost the Office Fridge

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Indeed ...
 Click here

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 Classics from the Pumpkin Master  (sorry, late for Halloween)
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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Look out!!!!!!!
 Click here

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Watch out, it's very slippery!!!
 Click here

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DUAL CAB FJ
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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Noun definition
 Click here

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A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried
and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said- "that part where hair has grown is called Monkey, be
proud that your monkey has grown hair".
The girl smiled. At dinner, she told her sister-"my monkey has grown hair".
Her sister smiled and said-"that's nothing, mine is already eating
bananas".
Mom fainted...

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Never Lose Your Grandson.

My small grandson got lost at the shopping centre.

He approached a uniformed security guard and said,

"I've lost my granddad!"

The guard asked: "What's he like?"

The little bloke hesitated for a moment and then replied,

"Rum and Coke and Sheila's with Big Tits."

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Bad day at work?
 Click here

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Now THIS is a brewery!
 Click here

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[ End friday humour ]

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