Friday humour - October 19, 2012

From: Arfermo
Sound on and enjoy a reminder of what used to be?
 Click here


A man went to have a tooth pulled, and the dentist said, "I will need to
give you an anaesthetic."

The man said, "No, I don't need anything. Just pull the tooth."
The dentist said, "You won't be able to withstand the pain!"
The man said, "I have been through excruciating pain twice in my life. Just
pull the tooth."

The dentist pulled the tooth, and the man didn't even flinch. The dentist
said, "If pain experience left you with that pain tolerance, I would like
to know about it."

The man said, "I went on a hunting trip with three other men, and we stayed
in a cabin. We hunted Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday, and when Thursday
came, all were tired but I went out by myself. When I got about
four miles from the cabin, on snow-covered ground, I realized I had to 'do
my business.' Knowing I couldn't make it back to the cabin, I decided to go
right there. I tucked behind a tree and dropped my pants and squatted down
to go. I didn't see the trap under the snow cover, and when I squatted, my
balls dropped in the trap and tripped it, and it slammed shut on them."

The dentist said, "Wow! If that was the first time, when was the second
experience?" "When I ran out of chain on the trap."


From: Diks

Whew! What a relief to learn this...

Ever walk into a room with some purpose in mind, only to completely forget
what that purpose was?
Turns out, doors themselves are to blame for these strange memory lapses.

Psychologists at the University of Notre Dame have discovered that passing
through a doorway triggers what's known as an event boundary in the mind,
separating one set of thoughts and memories from the next.Your brain files
away the thoughts you had in the previous room and prepares a blank slate
for the new locale. It's not aging, it's the door!
Thank goodness for studies like this.


From: Diks
Ohio High School Football "Play of the Week"

Miracle score for Ravenna vs. Field:
 Click here


From: Nottingham Smithie
I got thrown out of the local pharmacy this morning, all I said to the girl
behind the counter was " Do you take it up the ar*e or swallow?" she went
friggin mental and threw me out, now how am I going to find out how to use
those suppositories????


From: Seasoldier

And we will all come to this ?? A true senior moment!

One night a nurse was making her rounds in a nursing home. While walking
down the hall, she came across an open door. She looked in and saw old
Frank sitting up in bed pretending to drive.

She then asked, 'Frank, what are you doing?' He replied, 'I'm driving to
The nurse smiled at him and carried on making her rounds.

The next night as she walked past Franks room she saw the same thing.

Again she asked, 'Frank, what are you doing?' He replied, 'I'm driving to
Toronto, it's a two day trip you know!'

The nurse smiled at him and carried on making her rounds .

Five minutes later she came across another open door and looked in.

She saw Bill pretending to dance with someone. She then asked,
'Bill, what are you doing?'

Bill replied, 'I'm dancing with Franks wife, he's gone to Toronto for a
couple of days...'.


From: Sir Edward
*News just in...*

A British  Navy  Destroyer stops four Muslims in a row boat, rowing towards
Brighton."The captain gets on the loud hailer and shouts:
"Ahoy, small craft, where are you heading ?"
One of the Muslims stands up and shouts:
"We are invading England !"
The crew of the Destroyer all start laughing and when the captain finally
stops laughing, he gets back on the loud hailer and says:
"Just the four of you ?"
The  Muslim stands up again and shouts:
"No, we're the last four. The rest are already there !"


From: Anonymous3
The story behind the B17 gas station
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Shortly after WWII a guy named Art Lacey went to Kansas to buy a surplus
B-17. His idea was to fly it back to Oregon , jack it up in the air and
make a gas station out of it. He paid $15,000 for it. He asked which one
was his and they said take whichever you want because there were miles of
them. He didn't know how to fly a 4-engine airplane so he read the manual
while he taxied around by himself. They said he couldn't take off alone so
he put a mannequin in the co-pilot's seat and off he went.

He flew around a bit to get the feel of it and when he went to land he
realized he needed a co-pilot to lower the landing gear. He crashed and
totaled his plane and another on the ground. They wrote them both off as
"wind damaged" and told him to pick out another. He talked a friend into
being his co-pilot and off they went.

They flew to Palm Springs where Lacey wrote a hot check for gas.
Then they headed for Oregon . They hit a snow storm and couldn't find their
way, so they went down below 1,000 feet and followed the railroad tracks.
His partner sat in the nose section and would yell, "TUNNEL" when he saw
one and Lacey would climb over the mountain.

They landed safely, he made good the hot check he wrote, and they started
getting permits to move a B-17 on the state highway. The highway department
repeatedly denied his permit and fought him tooth and nail for a long time,
so late one Sat*rday night, he just moved it himself. He got a $10 ticket
from the police for having too wide a load.


From: Diks
Your favorite photo!
 Click here


From: Nottingham Smithie
Aunty Acid....
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From: Sack
Things you would not do twice
 Click here

I wonder if he had the balls to run it backwards to get it off ...ooow that
Nut spun onto finger by impact wrench

"Never stick your finger in the impact gun to get a 5/8's nut out and hit
the trigger
With the air hose hooked up."
The person stuck a finger in the nut while the nut was inside an impact
The person then pulled the trigger on the impact wrench and the nut spun
The finger. Presumably the individual was attempting to retrieve the nut
from the
Socket. The result was surely unexpected and painful.


From: Seasoldier
National puppy day
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From: The Great Gussius
Composite 'guitar'
Amazing computer animation!
You need your sound on.
What sort of mind would create this?
 Click here


[ End friday humour ]

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