Friday humour - September 21, 2012

BEST EVER ADULT WEB SITE...
For your enjoyment.  C'mon, give it a look see.....

Have a drink before you go here...
This will blow your mind!
The VERY BEST free adult site ever!
 Click here

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From: Burnout
Comeback Lines......

This real good sort looked at my beer belly and sarcastically said, "Is
that
VB or Hahn?"
I said, "There's a tap underneath, taste it".
***
I was telling a girl in the pub about my ability to guess what day a woman
was born just by feeling their tits,
"Really" she said. "Go on then...try"
After about 30 seconds of fondling she began to lose patience.
"Come on, what day was I born"?
I said, "f*ckin' yesterday".
***
I was talking to a girl in the bar last night.
She said, "If you lost a few kilos, had a shave and got your hair cut,
you'd look alright."
I said, "If I did that, I'd be talking to your friends over there."
***
I went to the pub last night and saw a fat bird dancing on a table,
I said to her, "Nice legs".
The girl giggled and said with a smile "Do you really think so".
I said "Definitely, most tables would have collapsed by now".
***
"Jesus loves you."
A nice gesture in church.
A horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
***
Got caught having a p*ss in the local swimming pool today.
The lifeguard shouted at me that loud I nearly fell in.

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From: Burnout
Cheaper than buying a ticket...............
 Click here

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From: Dry Bob
age old question
I cut the hedges and mowed the lawn today  and after doing so, I sat down
and had a couple nice cold beers. The day was  really quite beautiful, and
the brew facilitated some deep thinking on various  topics.

Finally I thought about an age old  question: Is giving birth more painful
than getting kicked in the  Nuts?
Women always maintain that giving birth is  way more painful than a guy
getting kicked in the nuts.

Well, after another beer, and some heavy  deductive thinking, I have come
up with the answer to that question.

Getting kicked in the nuts is more painful  than having a baby; and here is
the reason for my conclusion

A year or so after giving birth, a  woman might say, "it might be nice to
have another child."

On the other hand, have you ever  heard a guy say, "You know, I think I
would like another kick in the  nuts."
I rest my  case.

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From: Dry Bob
too much television

The pastor of this Baptist  church had called all of the little children to
the front of the church, dressed  in their cute Easter outfits and had them
sit around him. He said "Today is Easter and you all look  so handsome and
beautiful.  Today we're going to talk about the  resurrection. Does anyone
know what the resurrection is?"
One little boy raised his hand,  and the pastor said "Please tell us what
the resurrection  is". The boy, proud that he knew the answer, stood up
said in a clear loud  voice...

"When you get one lasting more than four  hours, you gotta call a doctor!"

It  took a solid 10 minutes before the pastor could speak and there was so
much  laughter going on that his sermon was probably forgotten - but that
boy's voice  won't be.

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Press Button for Drama - Click here
(People with lots of spare time on their hands)

Boeing & The Making of Florida One - Click here
(Fascinating stuff. How a plane is made)

People are Awesome - Click here
(Some amazing talent out there)

Josh Williams - Click here
(Watch his reaction as he keeps his cool, and finishes the song)

Osprey - Click here
(If all fishing was this easy)

Wilson - The Lucky Dog - Click here
(Funny lotto ad)

Adam Hills - Advance Australia Fair - Click here
(To the tune of Jimmy Barnes' "Working Class Man")

Armed Services Marching Band - Click here
(Just love the jet taking off, and the submarine going under the water)

Autoglass - Click here
(Send up of O'Brien Glass)

From Conception to Birth - Click here
(Incredible photography)

Russian Gymnasts - Click here
(Unbelievable talent)

View the Whole World - Click here
(Amazing what they can do these days) 1 - Click on a Country 2 - Click on a
City 3 - Just Keep Repeating

Russian Press Conference - Click here
(The flying d*ldo)

Terry & Julius - Click here
(Ventriloquist)

Memory Test - Click here
(Chimpanzee vs Human)

Porcelain Carby - Click here
(Toilet Power)

Dash Cam - Click here
(Nasty Accident)

Space Toilet - Click here
(Shooting Star)

Tool Chest - Click here
(What an incredible example of craftsmanship)

Uncle Phil - Click here
(Short Book)

3 Grandmas Watch Sex Tape - Click here
(XX - Kim Kardashian with Ray J - Funny)

Autistic Reporter - Click here
(in Afghanistan)

Tear Jerker - Click here
(6yo boy walks for 1st time)

IMAA Airshow - Click here
(Model Airplanes)

French Ballet - Click here
(Very smart and agile)

The Naked Magician - Click here
(Talented lady - Ursula Martinez)

How to open a bottle of Beer - Click here
(With a Chainsaw)

Pub Dog - Click here
(Funny Animation)

Dog Would Have Won If ... - Click here
(Dog stops for a ...)

School Answering Service - Click here
(Funny messages)

The Flea's Holiday - Click here
(Flea story with Dustin Hoffman)

Hostage Taker - Click here
(Spanish Police at their best)

Traffic Stop - Click here
(Shots fired)

A Glass of Red - Click here
(Annabel Carberry)

C130 - Click here
(Rocket configuration)

Blue Angels - Click here
(At times they appear to be only 6 inches apart)

The Typewriter - Click here
(Very talented man)

Grab that Plane - Click here
(Tricky)

Key Copter - Click here
(Neat Invention)

Penguins - Click here
(The big picture)

USA Wind Map - Click here
(Only in America)

Chinese Military Shovel - Click here
(The next Swiss Army Knife)

Steve Frayne - Click here
(Amazing talent)

Cube of Life - Click here
(A twist on Rubikā?Ts Cube)

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Good Cooking Tips
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
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From: Burnout
the lie detector
 Click here

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From: Burnout
Amazon Mothers Day Gifts....
 Click here

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From: Cartographer Chris
A REAL POLICE SHOOTING. Watch The Video BEFORE You Read the Story
 Click here


This video is an actual Detective attempt to stop a CRIMINAL in Chicago .
This Video was taken by a Police Officer Videographer who, was also in
Harm's Way.
WATCH the Video First... Two or Three Times if You Want...
THEN Read The Text Below... DON'T LOOK UNTIL YOU WATCH THE VIDEO!

You need to watch this one several times.
Please remember these cops acted in real time....
THIS PERSON DOES GET SHOT BY THE DETECTIVES.
THIS IS FOR REAL.
DO NOT scroll down and read until you see the video.


WHAT DID YOU SEE????

Officers ordered the suspect to put the assault rifle down, and that is
what he is doing, Right?

It appears he is complying and then they shoot him!!! OMG, he is shot!

Is that what you saw?

Do you want to know what it is like to work the streets as a cop, and what
risks our Officers face daily?

Watch the video again... Watch the suspect's right hand while he places the
rifle down with his left hand.

What you don't see by facing this Criminal face to face, but the officer
behind the suspect does see, is the suspect pulling a hidden handgun from
his rear pants, with his right hand.

Watch as the bad guy goes down.....the handgun is still in his right hand.

This is a reminder... What you think you see at first does not always tell
the truth.

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From: Diks
REAL Patriotism......Troops Show Support For Prince Harry
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

We're going commando... Facebook group strips in support of Prince Harry
after naked Las Vegas photos furore. **

Almost 12,000 people have joined the group 'Support Prince Harry with a
naked salute!'

Soldiers serving in Afghanistan have showed their support. When military
strategists talk about a frontal assault, this isnā?Tt quite what they
usually mean.

Thousands of British soldiers have stripped off in a show of support for
their comrade Prince Harry, currently in trouble over nude photographs
taken in Las Vegas.

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From: Duke of Barsinov
Really Old Ads
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How times change!
Your kids & grand-kids will never believe,
there was a time when these ads were run in newspapers and magazines!

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From: Seasoldier
Irish Mounted police!!!
 Click here

TAZER HIM MICK ... FOR F*CK'S SAKE,TAZER HIM!!!

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From: Wally
Dinner Time
 Click here

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From: Wally
Great Space T-Shirts
 Click here

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From: Wally
Finally
 Click here

Finally, Kates Topless Photo

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From: Wally
Gina & Julia
 Click here Click here

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From: Wally
Bizarre and Strange Things Confiscated at Airports Around the World
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Bizarre and Strange Things Confiscated at Airports Around the World
 Click here

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From: Wally
Wally's Still Going
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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From: Wally
10 - X-Ray Photos
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From: Wally
Human Body Under an Electron Microscope
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From: Wally
What a Great Name
 Click here
What a Great Name for a Dutch Eye Specialist

Dr. I see nothing

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From: Wally
What Birds Can Do to Airplanes at 800 KPH
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From: Wally
Tidy up the World
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Wally
Sinking
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Wally
Out of Everything
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

OUT OF AIRSPEED, ALTITUDE, AND IDEAS - ALL AT THE SAME TIME !!!
BUT REMEMBER, ANY LANDING YOU CAN WALK AWAY FROM - IS A GOOD LANDING !!!

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From: Wally
Photos
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Wally
Margaret
 Click here

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[ End friday humour ]

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