Friday humour - July 13, 2012

[from Steve @ Bluehaze]

Not much new in the political sphere Down Under this week. Boats and
carbon. Same old same old ..

This week's fare is supplied courtesy of Burnout, Duke of Barsinov,
Moonboot, Nottingham Smithie, Sack, Seasoldier, Terrible Tez,
The Great Gussius, Whizzbang, and the ever reliable laterfriend (anon ami).

My favourite for this week is:
The Police Dog
 Click here

Enjoy ...

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Doodling art called Zentangle
 Click here
Check this out....you will have done it on your own like me but this
website has the most amazing inspiration. I came across this little video
and it is interesting to watch.

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Would You Marry Again?

A husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks
over at him and asks the question....

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"

HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"

WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"

HUSBAND: "Of course I do.."

WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry? "

HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."

WIFE: "You would?" (with a hurt look)

HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)

WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"

HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."

WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"

HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"

WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"

HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."

WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"

HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."

WIFE: "Would you give her my jewellery?"

HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."

WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?

HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."

WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?

HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."

WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "sh*t."

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Woman and Sharks - Spectacular!

You have to watch this...
The first part of this just looks like an awesome screen saver but watch it
& see what this girl does to that one shark near the end ...
 Click here
Sound is needed, the music goes with the video which I donít think youíll
want to miss.

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Drugs have two names

In Pharmacology, drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name.

For example, the trade name of Tylenol has a generic name of acetaminophen.
Aleve is also called naproxen. Amoxil is also called amoxicillin and Advil
is also called ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful
consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that
it has settled on the generic name of mycoxafloppin.

PS Also considered were mycoxafailin, mydixadrupin, mydixarizin, mydixadud,
dixafix, and of course, ibepokin.

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America's Ultimate Barn Find

There are 8 clips here that run one after the other.
I know you will enjoy this so sit back and watch.
I want to find a shed full of stuff like this one day.
 Click here

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Worth a browse this page
 Click here

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Wife's Nickname......

I was listening to the radio this morning when the Host invited callers to
reveal the nicknames they had for their wives:
Best call was from the brave chap who called his wife "Harvey Norman" -
explaining ... "Absolutely no interest for 36 months"

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Can't a guy have a beer in peace?
 Click here

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Shame on Denmark
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
†
Check it out at:
 Click here

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Babies
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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Singer sewing machine advice 1949 - how times have changed ...
 Click here

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Loira camareira
 Click here

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Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives

1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name.

3. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

4. A dog's parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk..

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get
another dog?"

10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

11. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a
pervert.

12. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think
it's interesting.

13. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pickup truck.

And last, but not least:

14. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

To test this theory: Lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour.
Then open it and see who's happy to see you.

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A Golfer accidentally overturned his cart.

Elizabeth, a "beautiful" real golfer who lived in a villa on the golf
course heard the noise and yelled over to him.

"Hey, are you okay, what's your name?"
"Willis," he replied.

"Willis forget your troubles. Come to my villa, rest up and I'll help you
get the cart up later."

"That's mighty nice of you," Willis answered, "but I don't think my wife
would like it."

"Aw come on," Elizabeth insisted.
She was very pretty and persuasive.
"Well okay," Willis finally agreed,
And added, "but my wife won't like it."

After a hearty drink AND s*xy driving and putting lessons, Willis thanked
his host.
"I feel a lot better now, but I know my wife is going to be real upset."

"Don't be foolish!" Elizabeth said with a smile , she wont know any thing.
By the way, where is she?"

"Under the cart ..."

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Thought of the Day
 Click here

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A blonde woman goes to her local pet store in search of an 'exotic' pet.

As she looks about the store, she notices a box FULL of frogs.

The sign says: 'S*X FROGS'

Only $20 each!

Comes with 'complete' instructions.

The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her.

She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, 'I'll TAKE one!'

As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, 'Just follow the
instructions!'

The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home.

As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she opens the instructions
and reads them very carefully.

She does EXACTLY what is specified:

1. Take a shower.
2. Splash on some nice perfume.
3. Slip into a very s*xy nightie.
4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you, and allow the frog to
do what he has been trained to do.

She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise . . .
NOTHING happens!

The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point.

She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it
says,

'If you have any problems or questions please call the pet store.'

So, she calls the pet store.

The man says, 'I'll be right over.'

Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell.

The blonde welcomes him in and says, 'See, I've done everything according
to the instructions.

The damn frog just SITS there!'

The man . . . looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly
into its eyes and STERNLY says:

LISTEN TO ME!!

I'm only going to show you how to do this ONE MORE TIME!!!

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This show is still running in its 7th season. Amazing !
 Click here

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Red neck foreplay [XXX]
 Click here
"And that's how it done in them thar hills"

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New Candy Marijuana
 Click here

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      Ah-the-eah the-eah That's All (for this week) Folks!


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[ End friday humour ]

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