Friday humour - October 21, 2011

At a recent wedding party, someone yelled,"All the married men please stand
next to the one person who has made your life worth living."
The bartender was crushed to death.

 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Digi Steve
Interesting use of plastic bottles

 Click here

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Johnny Green
Charging Leaping Antelope Takes Down Cyclist in South Africa - Dramatic
footage - YouTube
Spoils the ending, but still worth a look.. No sound.

 Click here

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Johnny Green
Bolero
Another flash mob, ho hum. (5 mins)
This is great, guys, max the screen and put the volume up

 Click here

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Johnny Green
There's one in every family
 Click here

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Johnny Green

Just heard on the radio that there is already trouble in the McCartney
marriage. Evidently the new wife is spending twice as much money on shoes
as the last one.Yes, and I understand having trouble deciding when asked to
put her best foot forward.

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Johnny Green
Eagle Owl...serious adrenaline rush
Great photography..... this video shows an Eagle Owl attacking the camera
that's doing the recording. The slow-motion photography was shot at a film
speed of 1000 FPS.

Eagle Owls are native to Eurasia and are closely related to the Great
Horned
Owl (the one with the 'ears').

For flyers & bird watchers, this video is also an interesting study of the
owl's wing aerodynamics in very slow motion. Too bad the film stopped short
of the actual attack on the camera.....

To any prey, those outstretched claws must be a very daunting image in its
last few seconds of life!! Also check the focus in the eyes!!

 Click here

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Johnny Green
Something To Do When We Are Old And Bored!
 Click here

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Muse
Subject: Skidboot
Great story!
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Muse
Subject: An interesting catch...
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Nottingham Smithie
Subject: A little time ago...

A LITTLE TIME AGO WE HAD
STEVE JOBS,
BOB HOPE
AND JOHNNY CASH


NOW WE HAVE
NO JOBS,
NO HOPE
AND NO CASH

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Sack
Subject: The New Wine Taster

At a wine merchants, the regular taster died and the director started
looking for a new one to hire.
A drunkard with a ragged, dirty look came to apply for the position. The
director of the warehouse wondered how to send him away.
They gave him a glass to drink.

He tried it and said, "It's a Muscat , three Years old, grown on a north
slope, matured in steel containers". Low grade but acceptable.
"That's correct", said the boss.
Another glass....  "It's a cabernet, eight years old, a south-western
slope,
oak barrels, matured at 8 degrees.  Requires three more years for finest
results.."
"Correct.."

A third glass...''It's a pinot blanc champagne, high grade and exclusive''
calmly said the drunk.
The director was astonished. He winked at his secretary to suggest
something.
She left the room, and came back in with a glass of urine.
The alcoholic tried it.

"It's a blonde, 26 years old, three months pregnant and if you don't give
me the job, I'll name the father!"

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Stumpy Steve
Ngongo Mwandi has to walk five miles a day for fresh water and 7miles a day
for food.
This is because the daft bastard torched his Sainsbury Local in Peckham and
Tottenham and now has to walk to Ilford for breakfast.

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Stumpy Steve
Ten Priests are killed in an accident & arrive at the Pearly Gates.
St Peter says "If any of you are paedophiles, go to Hell!"
Nine of them start walking away.
St Peter shouts "Take the deaf one with you!"

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Stumpy Steve
So I'm at the bar and this little Chinese guy is stood at the side of me.
So I asked him "do you know martial arts like Kung Fu and Ju-Jitsu"?
He replied "NO" why you ask me that.
Is it because I'm Chinese?
I said "no, it's because your drinking my bloody beer".

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Anonymous
Reno Accident....Information re P51 crash
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

Galloping Ghost crash
Ok... here's the skinny on the accident....
A P-51 normally has two trim tabs.. One on each elevator...
This one had one and other one was fixed in place..
He was warned about the forces being put on that one tab. It failed..
He had at least a 10G load when the plane pitched up from the loss of the
trim tab and he went "nighty night" and probably never woke up.

====================================================================
In 1989 this type of thing happened to another pilot but he lived to tell
the story.
When flying a P-51 at 450+mph you need to have full nose down trim to keep
the plane level.
The elevator trim tab broke off and the aircraft immediately went in to a
10G climb, confirmed by the G-meter.
The pilot came to, from the sudden blackout and realized he had slipped
through the shoulder harness and was looking at the floor of the airplane.
He was able to reach the throttle and pull it back to slow down and was
able to recover and land.
=====================================================================
Fast forward to 2011
Photo one is the airplane taxiing, note the pilots head in the canopy.
Photo two is typical oil canning as a result of the tremendous torque these
engines put out at high power.
Photo three is a photo of GG upside down with a missing elevator trim tab.
Note all you see is the back of the pilots head indicating he is being
forced down in the c*ckpit.
Photo four is a view of the left side nose down with the tail wheel
extended and no view of the pilot. The tail wheel is held up by hydraulics
only with no mechanical uplock, thus indicating a high G-force causing it
to extend.
Photos five and six are from the left side prior to impact, note no view of
the pilot and the tail wheel extended.
Photo seven is the debris just after the crash. To the right of center
above the crowd it appears to be the wing with the leading edge down.
The people were mostly hit by chunks of concrete, asphalt and aircraft
debris. They were also hurt by the trampling of people getting out of the
way.

fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Johnny Green
Subject: Dictionary Words
 Click here
Oldie but a Goodie Dept. language alert.

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Johnny Green
Subject: Steve's next job
 Click here

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Johnny Green
New Stick Family
 Click here

Most people would have seen the My Stick Family stickers on the back of
cars lately.
Well, in the interest of keeping everyone happy, they have now released the
My Stick Family, BOAT PEOPLE edition.

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Sack
Durer's Magic Square .........
 Click here
Clever, but of academic rather than practical use.
AND HE DID THE DRAWINGS AS WELL.

 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Sack
Parachutes
 Click here

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Sack
ORANGE FESTIVAL IN NETHERLANDS - something nice !!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Sack
PENCIL ART
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here


   ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

From: Whizzbang
When focusing on your pet goes too far
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

This is Crazy - So a new trend has EXPLODED in China's upper class where
people are transforming their pets into miniature versions of animals,
fairy's or just dying them crazy colors but Pandas seem to be a big hit and
obviously their favourite. It's become a huge industry and people are
spending THOUSANDS of dollars in professional hair dye, salon cuts,
clothing, accessories, you name it!

Poor dogs.

   ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

--------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ End friday humour ]

 Previous (October 14, 2011)  Index Next (October 28, 2011)