Friday humour - March 11, 2011

From: Anonymous

BBC Photography (AMAZING)

This short BBC photo/video montage shows people and cultures around the
world in amazing situations.
 Click here


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From: Burnout
Mountain Trail in Spain
The entrances for this trail are closed but not policed. It was built in
the 1920's for hydro workers. There is no rail but there is a chain to
hold onto but it doesn't hold much weight and several people have fallen
to their deaths.
This is an amazing walk! This should have you on the edge of your seat
possibly feeling slightly dizzy. It's 6 minutes long and should be watched
till the very end.
To intensify the experience, click on the full screen button (middle button
that looks like four arrows on the lower right hand side of the screen when
the player comes up).
It's enough to make you nauseous especially when you consider that it was
filmed by someone who made the hike carrying a video camera while he did
it.
 Click here

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From: Digi Steve
Australian radio newsreader has hiccupped her way through a live news
bulletin on Melbourne station 3AW
 Click here

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From: Johnny Green
John O'Neill's Response

Excellent and very rational piece of oratory. (.if language offends etc.)
 Click here

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From: Kaos_reflex
New High School Exit Exam, you only need 4 correct out of 10 questions to
pass.

1) How long did the Hundred Years' War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
8) What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane?

Remember, you need only 4 correct answers to pass.

Check your answers below....

ANSWERS TO THE QUIZ
1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?116 years
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador
3) From which animal do we get cat gut?Sheep and Horses
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution? November
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?Squirrel fur
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal? Dogs
7) What was King George VI's first name?Albert  8) What color is a purple
finch?Crimson
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand
10) What is the color of the black box in a commercial airplane? Orange (of
course)

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From: Liz
Panoramic 3D pictures
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Liz
Sinatra
QUITE  FUNNY! WHOEVER IS DOING THE 'VOICE' OF SINATRA IS DOING A  GREAT JOB
OF COPPING HIS INFLECTION.  AND THE ANIMATION IS A RIOT!!
Turn  on  the sound...........Click the link below  ..  . THEN  ENJOY!
 Click here

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From: Liz
Space Shuttle

This is the stuff you DON'T normally see.
Time lapse launch sequence.
And after next year you won't ever see it again,
The video is silent until the last few seconds.
 Click here

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From: Liz
MOVING A BARN BY HAND
This is unbelievable! Only in the central USA,
would someone think of this.
Moving a 17,000 pound, fully built barn without any power equipment
whatsoever.
Not as bad as you might think because it involved 344 people so, only 49.4
pounds per person.
Click this link:
 Click here

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From: Stumpy Steve
I Like this one
A wife says to her husband
"Could you go to the shop and get a carton of milk - if they have eggs get
6."
He come home with 6 cartons of milk.
Wife "why have go got 6 cartons of milk?"
Husband "They had eggs"

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The Great Gussius
In the news this week

NASA scientist 'finds alien fossils on meteorite'

A NASA scientist says he has found evidence of tiny fossilised bacteria on
three meteorites and maintains the microscopic life forms are not native
to Earth. That just about wraps it up for God.

If confirmed, this research would suggest life in the universe is
widespread and life on Earth may have come from elsewhere in the solar
system, riding to our planet on space rocks like comets,
moons and other heavenly bodies such as Kim Bassinger.
The study, published online in The Journal of Cosmology, is considered so
controversial it is accompanied by a statement from the journal's editor
seeking other fundamentalist religious claptrap masquerading as scientific
comment.
The central claim of the study by astrobiologist Richard Hoover is that
there is evidence of microfossils similar to cyanobacteria - blue-green
algae, also known as pond sc*m - on the freshly fractured inner surfaces
of three meteorites.
These microscopic structures had lots of carbon, a marker for Earth-type
life, and almost no nitrogen, Dr Hoover said in a telephone interview.
Bishop Stargate of Nitrogenia VI in the constellation Virgo is reported to
have responded to the claim through a translator, with something along the
lines of "Hoover sucks!
Intergalactic life has existed for billions of years; you guys are so
backward"
"We have known for a long time that there were very interesting biomarkers
in carbonaceous meteorites and the detection of structures that are very
similar ... to known terrestrial cyanobacteria is interesting in that it
indicates that life is not restricted to the planet Earth," Dr
Hoover said.
Dr Hoover, based at NASA's Marshall Space Flight Centre in Alabama, has
specialised in the study of microscopic life forms that survive extreme
environments such as glaciers, permafrost and geysers.
He is not the first to claim discovery of life on other worlds. No-one has
yet discovered intelligent life on earth so that is the next really big
challenge. Maybe we can import it from somewhere around Alpha Centauri.

Rio Carnival parades get underway

Rio's two nights of famously extravagant Carnival parades began in a burst
of fireworks and to the cheers of festival goers who have been partying on
the streets for days.

The processions, featuring near-naked dancing queens, spectacularly
imaginative floats and thousands of extras, were being held on Sunday and
Monday before a stadium crowd of 70,000 and an international broadcast
audience.
The parades are put on by Rio's top dozen samba schools, each of which have
worked for months to ready shows costing up to $5 million.
Three of the schools will be dancing after having lost many of their
costumes in a warehouse fire a month ago. Rather than working around the
clock to re-do their costumes in time, they decided to dance naked and
no-one could tell the difference.
The whole contest itself reinforces the iconic image of Brazil as a s*xy,
multi-cultural society with a fervent party spirit and an inclination to
root anyone and everyone harder than you see at the
Sydney Mardi Gras.

Limericks lesson 2
A common feature of the limerick is a twist at the end:

There was a young bloke called Menzies
Whose kisses sent girls into frenzies
But a virgin one night
Crossed her legs in a fright
And fractured his bifocal lenses

But not take make fun of virgins or the visually challenged:

A pussy cat out on a spree
Was molested by an ape in a tree
When she asked him to pay
The ape said "No way,
I always get pussy for free"

Whilst animals are fair game, s*x and geography also get a run:

I met a lewd nude in Bermuda
Who thought she was shrewd, I was shrewder
She thought it quite crude
To be wooed in the nude
I pursued her, subdued her and screwed her.

And my personal favourite, with a nautical theme:

There was a young bosun named Bates
Who danced the fandango on skates
But a fall on his cutlass
Rendered him nutless
And practically useless on dates.


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From: Allnutts
Warning, Always put the paint in the boot!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Pictures of accident on St Johns Bridge on Thursday...

The ambulance driver wouldn't let the female paramedic out of the ambulance
because she couldn't stop laughing, he said it wasn't professional.

The people in the blue car had a 25-litre bucket of paint on the back seat.

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From: Anatinus
Waiting in hope
 Click here
With breathless anticipation the crowd awaits the unveiling of the Julia
Gillard Statue.

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From: Anonymous
Ross Petten from Port de Grave, Newfoundland
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here


EVER BEEN TO SEA  BILLY?
A Newfoundland Crab boat, owned by Ross Petten from Port de Grave...
in some choppy water on the Grand Banks off Nfld.
Next time you are having fish for dinner, think about these guys...

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From: Kaos_reflex
Government Departments.......
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here


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From: Liz
S*x Positions
 Click here


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From: Liz
Village in Afghanistan ...   Very interesting
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

Photos by 3rd Recon Bn RVN USMC...
And you wonder why they can't find
Osama Bin Laden?

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From: Liz
New Zealand Earthquake
 Click here
6.3 magnitude; sad to see this destruction to New Zealand and its people
New Zealand Earthquake

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From: Liz
 Click here
Some levity for today.
Gas station sign in Aledo this morning.


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From: Nottingham Smithie
Build A Blonde
 Click here

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From: Sack
2011 Motorcycle Helmets
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

I never cease to marvel at the Free Enterprise System, When a product
reaches the point where it's nigh on to impossible to improve its
functionality, someone will still come up with a way to make people want
to ditch their old one and get yours. Check out these motorcycle helmets.
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From: Stumpy Steve
Message On Fridge
 Click here Click here

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From: Stumpy Steve
Politically incorrect ads....from the past....

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
Never Point a RPG at a US Marine [VVV]
 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
Oh look, a snake!!!
 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
Looking for a new car?
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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From: Whizzbang
You'll Never guess what they are looking for
 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
Affordable Escort Service
 Click here

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Subject: Funny pic
 Click here

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MOST DANGEROUS SPIDERS OF THE WORLD
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

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[ End friday humour ]

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