Friday humour - January 07, 2011

One thing which continues to surprise me is that a little site like this
attracts people who are willing to give of their time to keep the site
alive. I am speaking of the management team, both past and present, they
are Tony, our founder, Davo, recently in his second retirement, Steve our
IT guru, Smithie, our outta towner, Gussius, our latest and me.

These give of their time each month to keep the haze going.

Hope you think it's worth it.

And Vale Jerry RAFFERTY of "Baker Street" fame, thanks mate enjoyed it.

Now it's on with the fun!


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From: Anonymous
Subject: Lawyers & Engineers on a train


Three lawyers and three engineers are travelling by train to a conference.
At the station, each of the three lawyers buys a ticket while the three
engineers buy only one ticket.

"How can the three of you travel on one ticket?" asks a lawyer....

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

Aboard the train the lawyers take their respective seats while all three
engineers cram into the restroom and squeeze the door closed behind them.

When the conductor comes around collecting tickets, he knocks on the
restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens a crack and a
single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves
on.

The lawyers are impressed with this clever idea. One the way home from the
conference, they decide to copy the engineers' technique. At the station,
they buy a single ticket for their return trip. To their astonishment, the
engineers don't buy a ticket at all!

"How in the hell are you going to pull this off?" asks a lawyer.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an engineer.

They board the train. The three lawyers cram into one restroom and the
three engineers cram into the other restroom.

Shortly after the train departs, one of the engineers leaves his restroom
and knocks on the other restroom door. "Ticket, please!"


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From: Anonymous
Subject: Last Hurrah for Harrier

Last hurrah for the Harrier: Jump jets take to the skies for their final
farewell

The sense of loss of both the planes, and of a cherished piece of aviation
history was symbolized in a moving tradition called the ˜walk of honour".

Full Story:


 Click here


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From: Digi Steve (Brings back some wonderful memories - ED)
Subject: My Blackberry is not working!

 Click here


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From: Kaos_reflex
Subject: Target Stores - What a surprise

Don't know if there is truth in the following.

Wasn't it last Christmas that Target refused to let the Salvation Army ring
their bells in front of their stores?

D*ck Forrey of the Vietnam Veterans Association wrote.

'Recently we asked the local TARGET store to be a proud sponsor of the
Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall during our spring recognition event.

We received the following reply from the local  TARGET management:
'Veterans do not meet our area of giving.
 We only donate to the arts, social action groups, gay & lesbian causes,
and education.'

So I'm thinking, if the Vietnam Veterans Memorial Wall and veterans in
general, do not meet their donation criteria,
then something is really wrong at this TARGET store.
We were not asking for thousands of dollars, not even hundreds,
 just a small sponsorship for a memorial remembrance.

As a follow-up, I e-mailed the TARGET U.S. Corporate
Headquarters and their response was the same...

 'Toys for Tots'at any of their stores.
And during the recent Iraq deployment, they would not allow families of
employees who were called up for active duty to continue their insurance
coverage while they were on military service..
Then as I dig further, TARGET is a French-owned corporation.

Now, I'm thinking again.. If TARGET cannot support American (or Aussie)
Veterans, then why should my family and I support their stores by spending
our hard earned American (or Aussie) dollars in their stores???

And:
have their profits sent to France  .

Without the American (and Aussie)
Vets, where would France be today?

'They most likely would be speaking German and trading in Deutsch Marks'

Sincerely,
D*ck  Forrey
Veterans Helping Veterans

Please send this on to everyone you know to let Target know we don't need
them either !That's their national policy

Then looked into the company further..
They will not allow the Marines to collect for

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From: Liz
Subject: Lion Whisperer -- Unbelievable

This is unbelievable.......

 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: SPIDER.......YOU'LL SWEAR IT'S ALIVE !!!

Poke and prod the spider with your mouse, also 'grab' one of its legs with
your mouse and drag it around the screen -- tell me it's not alive!

Also anywhere on the floor double tap the space bar and it leaves little
bugs for the spider to eat.  Watch the spider go after the bugs and eat
them.  This is crazy and creepy too!

 Click here

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From: Liz
Subject: Hoppy


Unreal!!! (Too Right! - ED)


 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: Mother's milk


Biology Class - final exam


Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam. The
last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk,' worth 70
points or none at all. One student, in particular, was hard put to think
of seven advantages.
He wrote:

1.) It is perfect formula for the child.
2.) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3.) It is always the right temperature.
4.) It is inexpensive.
5.) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6.) It is always available as needed.


And then, the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before the
bell indicating the end of the test rang, he wrote...
7.) It comes in 2 cute containers.
He got an A.

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From: Liz
Subject: 11 Medicinal Uses for Food

Clearing up infections? Healing wounds? Getting rid of head lice? There are
pills and creams that can help, but also amazing foods that will work in a
pinch. We asked Lynne C. David, ND, LAc, a naturopathic doctor and
licensed acupuncturist at the Center for Integrative Medicine in
Washington, DC, and Mark Moyad, MD, MPH, the Jenkins Director of
Preventive and Alternative Medicine at the University of Michigan Medical
Center, for details. "This is not mumbo-jumbo," says Dr. Moyad. "There's a
lot of folk wisdom out there that's now being proven right." Behold, the
healing power of food.

Honey: Cuts, Scr*pes and Sore Throats

Because honey has a compound similar to hydrogen peroxide, it can be
applied topically for wound treatment. It's so effective that it's
currently being used in the Iraq war; a thin layer is applied to bandages
and placed on bullet wounds and burns. "It's acidic, so it makes it
difficult for bacteria to survive, and it's a humectant, so any bacteria
will shift into the honey, killing the bacteria," says Dr. Moyad. A study
in 2007 also found that nondiluted darker honey (like buckwheat honey)
worked just as well as OTC medicine for coughs and sore throats.

Black Tea: Stinky Feet

The tannins in black tea are antimicrobial and astringent, so they tighten
and dry out skin. It's the same reason tea bags are good for puffy eyes.
"But be careful," advises Dr. Moyad, "green tea has little to no tannins,
so you need to use black tea."

Bitter Melon: Diabetes

Head to your local Asian market, because this bumpy green oblong vegetable
can be great for diabetes and high-glucose support. "Bitter melon reduces
blood glucose, insulin resistance and high blood pressure," says Dr.
David. It can be eaten raw, but true to its name, bitter melon is bitter,
so Dr. David recommends cutting it up and mixing it with scrambled eggs to
improve the flavor.

Hot Pepper: Pain

"There are topical creams that contain cayenne to reduce pain, but you can
make your own pretty easily," says Dr. David. Start with a vitamin E cream
or coconut oil that doesn't contain petroleum product ("If you wouldn't
ingest it, you shouldn't put it in your cream," says Dr. David). Then add
a pinch of cayenne powder for every ounce of cream or oil. Use it to help
reduce pain in joint areas like knees and ankles. "It's the capsaicin in
the peppers that shuts down the production of the compound that causes
pain. The catch is that when you're handling hot peppers, don't rub your
eyes or you'll have bigger problems," says Dr. Moyad.

Olive Oil: Dry Lips and Lice

Olive oil has oleic acid, which creates a nice covering to soothe dry lips.
"There was also a recent study in which extra-virgin olive oil had an
impact on protecting the skin from everything from dryness to skin
cancer," says Dr. Moyad. But most surprising, heavy oils, like canola and
olive, can be coated on lice infestation and, when allowed to dry, will
suffocate the pests.

Oats: Dry, Itchy Skin
"Oats have avenanthramides-they're anti-inflammatory in nature and can be
used for itchy, dry skin," says Dr. Moyad, who recommends either putting a
sock filled with oats into a hot bath or just buying an oatmeal lotion.

Ginger: Nausea

Ginger is a common remedy for nausea, with almost no side effects, and is
great during pregnancy. "It is possible that too much ginger can give you
acne. It's a warming food, and with too much heat, it may produce heat on
the face, which would give acne. But you'd have to eat a lot of it," says
Dr. David. To use, slice up fresh ginger root and make a tea out of it or
just chew on the raw root.

Skim Milk: Sunburn

Skim milk that's slightly cooler than room temperature will hydrate skin
and help relieve pain associated with sunburns. "The milk forms a collagen
web. Just dip gauze in there and apply it to the area, but watch out
because whole milk actually slows healing time," warns Dr. Moyad.

Banana: Warts

The inside [of a banana peel] is supposed to contain potassium and an
unidentified compound that may shift immune balance of the skin to help
relieve warts, says Dr. Moyad. Though data is lacking, there seems to be a
lot of anecdotal evidence to support it. Try pressing a banana peel onto an
affected area and leaving it there for a little while...since it can't
cause any harm, it may be worth a try.


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From: Liz
Subject: The story of a dog

Awww, this is sad.

 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: PSYCHOPATH TEST

PSYCHOPATH TEST

Read this question, come up with an answer and then scroll down to the
bottom for the result. This is not a trick question.
It is as it reads. No one I know has gotten it right. Few people do.


A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not
know. She thought this guy was amazing. She believed him to be her dream
guy so much that she fell in love with him right there, but never asked
for his number and could not find him. A few days later she killed her
sister..

Question: What is her motive for killing her sister?

[Give this some thought, then see answer below]


Answer:

She was hoping the guy would appear at the funeral again. If you answered
this correctly, you think like a psychopath. This was a test by a famous
American psychologist used to determine if one has the same mentality as a
killer. Many arrested serial killers took part in the test and answered the
question correctly. If you didn't answer the question correctly, good for
you..


If you got the answer correct, please let me know so I can take you off my
e-mail list!


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From: Liz
Subject: Snow snow snow


    I just got off the phone with a friend in Minnesota.  He

    said that since early this morning the snow has been

    nearly waist high and is still falling.  His wife has done

    nothing but look through the kitchen window.  He says

    that if it gets much worse, he may have to let her in.


    Happy New Year.....


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From: Liz
Subject: WITTICISMS


                              It 's not whether you win or lose,
                              but how you place the blame.


                        You are not drunk
                        if you can lie on the floor
                        without holding on.


                We have enough youth.

                How about a fountain of "smart"?


       The original point and click interface
      was a Smith & Wesson.


      A fool and his money
      can throw one heck of a party.


      when blondes have more fun do they know it?


      Five days a week my body is a temple.
      The other two it's an amusement park.


      LEARN FROM YOUR PARENTS' MISTAKES
      USE BIRTH CONTROL


       Money isn't everything,
      but it sure keeps the kids in touch.


       Don't Drink and Drive
      You might hit a bump and spill something.


       If at first you don't succeed
      skydiving is not for you..


      Reality is only an illusion
      that occurs due to a lack of alcohol.


      Time's fun when you're having flies.

      ......Kermit the Frog


      We are born naked, wet and hungry.
      Then things get worse.


       Red meat is not bad for you
      Fuzzy green meat is bad for you.


      Ninety-nine percent of all lawyers
      give the rest a bad name..


      <> One good thing about Alzheimer's is
      you get to meet new people every day.


      Xerox and Wurlitzer will merge
      to produce reproductive organs.


      Alabama  state motto:

      At least we're not Mississippi


        ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE IS NO
      MATCH FOR NATURAL STUPIDITY.


      The latest survey shows that
      three out of four people make
      up 75% of the population


You know why a banana is like a politician?

When he first comes in he is green, then he turns yellow and then he's
rotten..

I think Congressmen should wear uniforms like NASCAR drivers so we could
identify their corporate sponsors.


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From: Liz
Subject: Enjoy:)


Last week, I checked into the Four Seasons in Palm Beach and was a bit
lonely.  I thought I'll call one of those men you see advertised in phone
books for escorts and sensual massages.

       I looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy
calling himself Tender Tony -- a very handsome man with assorted physical
skills flexing in the photo.  He had all the right muscles in all the
right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling smile, six
pack abs and I felt quite certain I could bounce a quarter off his well
oiled butt.... you get the picture.  I figured, what the heck, I'll give
him a call.

       "Hello, ma'am, how may I help you?" . . . Oh my, he sounded sooo
s*xy!

       Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated, I rushed right in. 
"Hi, I hear you give a great massage, I'd like you to come to my room and
give me one.  No, wait, I should be straight with you.  I'm in town all
alone and what I really want is s*x.  I want it hard, I want it hot, I
want it now.  Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather and whips,
everything you've got in your bag of tricks.  We'll go hot and heavy all
night -- tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream,
anything and everything, baby.  Now how does that sound?"

       He says, "Oh my God... that sounds absolutely fantastic, but you
need to press 9 for an outside line."


~LOL~


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From: Liz
Subject: Incredible pictures from space by NASA


Breathtaking.
Some incredible photos from the International Space Station of our
beautifully-made planet Earth.

 Click here


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Subject: The Encounter


He grasped me firmly but gently just above my elbow and guided me into a
room, his room.  Then he quietly shut the door and we were alone.


He approached me soundlessly, from behind, and spoke in a low,
reassuring voice close to my ear.  "Just relax."

Without warning, he reached down and I felt his strong, calloused hands
start at my ankles, gently probing, and moving upward along my calves
slowly but steadily.  My breath caught in my throat.  I knew I should be
afraid, but somehow I didn't care.  His touch was so experienced, so
sure..


When his hands moved up onto my thighs, I gave a slight shudder, and partly
closed my eyes.  My pulse was pounding.  I felt his knowing fingers caress
my abdomen, my ribcage..  And then, as he cupped my firm,
full breasts in his hands, I inhaled sharply.  Probing, searching,
knowing what he wanted, he brought his hands to my shoulders, slid them
down my tingling spine and into my panties.


Although I knew nothing about this man, I felt oddly trusting and
expectant.  This is a man, I thought.  A man used to taking charge.  A man
not used to taking "No" for an answer.  A man who would tell me what he
wanted.  A man who would look into my soul and say ... ....
"Okay Mam," said a voice, "All done."

My eyes snapped open and he was standing in front of me, smiling,
holding out my purse.  "You can board your flight now."


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From: Muse
Subject: New Marine Recruiting Commercial


Well, this certainly didn't take long!
Here's the new Marine recruiting commercial...

 Click here


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From: Muse
Subject: The Mirror

The woman in the grey suit is facing and moving in sync with her twin
sister...there is no mirror! Some of the people really thought they were
losing their minds.

 Click here


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From: Sack
Subject: Bunning's Story!?


Charlie was fitting a new door and found that one of the hinges was
missing.

He asked his wife Mary if she would go to Bunning's and pick up a hinge.

Mary agreed to go.

While she was waiting for the assistant to finish serving a customer, her
eye caught a beautiful bathroom tap set.

When the assistant was finished, Mary asked him, "How much is that tap
set?"

The assistant replied, "That's a gold plated set and the price is $500.00".

Mary exclaimed, "My goodness, that's so expensive.

It's certainly out of my price bracket."

She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Charlie had sent her to buy.

The assistant said that he had them in stock and went into the storeroom to
get one.

From the storeroom the assistant yelled.

"Ma'am, do you wanna screw for the hinge?"

Mary paused for a moment and then shouted back, "No, but I will for the tap
set."

This is why you can't send a woman to Bunning's!


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From: Seasoldier (We get this one very year! - ED)
Subject: Thanks for your emails this year!!!


As we progress through the year 2010, I want to thank all of you for your
educational e-mails over the past year. I am totally screwed up now and
have little chance of recovery.

I no longer open a bathroom door without using a paper towel, or have the
waitress put lemon slices in my ice water without worrying about the
bacteria on the lemon peel.

I can't use the remote in a hotel room because I don't know what the last
person was doing while flipping through the adult movie channels.

I can't sit down on the hotel bedspread because I can only imagine what has
happened on it since it was last washed.

I have trouble shaking hands with someone who has been driving because the
number one pastime while driving alone is picking one's nose.

Eating a little snack sends me on a guilt trip because I can only imagine
how many gallons of Trans fats I have consumed over the years.

I can't touch any woman's purse for fear she has placed it on the floor of
a public restroom.

I MUST SEND MY SPECIAL THANKS to whoever sent me the one about rat poop in
the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet sponge with every
envelope that needs sealing.

ALSO, now I have to scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (Penny Brown)
who is about to die for the 1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money, but that will change once I receive the
£15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for
participating in their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking out
for me, and St. Theresa's Novena has granted my every wish.

I can't have a drink in a bar because I'll wake up in a bathtub full of ice
with my kidneys gone.

I can't eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutant
freaks with no eyes, feet or feathers.

I can't use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water
buffalo on a hot day.

THANKS TO YOU I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I forward
an e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

BECAUSE OF YOUR CONCERN, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove
toilet stains.

I no longer buy petrol without taking someone along to watch the car so a
serial killer doesn't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up or in the
garage shop


I no longer use Cling Wrap in the microwave because it causes seven
different types of cancer.

AND THANKS FOR LETTING ME KNOW I can't boil a cup of water in the microwave
anymore because it will blow up in my face. Disfiguring me for life.

I no longer go to the movies because I could be pr*cked with a needle
infected with AIDS when I sit down.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with a
perfume sample and rob me.

And I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a
number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Nigeria,
Romania, Singapore, Malaysia and Uzbekistan ..

THANKS TO YOU I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big black
snake could be lurking under the seat and cause me instant death when it
bites my butt.

AND THANKS TO YOUR GREAT ADVICE I can't ever pick up £1.00 coin dropped in
the car park because it probably was placed there by a s*x molester waiting
to grab me as I bend over.


I can't do any gardening because I'm afraid I'll get bitten by the Violin
Spider and my hand will fall off.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00 p.m.
Tomorrow afternoon, and the fleas from 120 camels will infest your back,
causing you to grow a hairy hump. I know this will occur because it
actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's
ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's best friend's beautician . .

 Oh, by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina , after a lengthy study, has discovered
that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their
hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late.

P. S.: I now keep my toothbrush in the living room, because I was told by
e-mail that water splashes over 3m out of the toilet.

NOW YOU ALL HAVE YOURSELVES A VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS (BUT BE ALERT AT
ALL TIMES, SO BEST NOT DRINK, OK?)
AND A YEAR OF CAUTIOUS WATCHFULNESS SIMILAR TO THE ONE THAT I WILL

              HOPEFULLY 'ENJOY'.


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From: Stumpy Steve


When asked if he preferred legs or breasts, Paddy said he had a particular
fondness for shaved fannies...

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From: The Great Gussius
Subject: 3D paintings:


 Click here

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From: The Great Gussius
Subject: What a job!

Warning:- Have you got a head for heights ?

Just wait for the cartoon intro to finish, then hold on to your seat.
click on the link below

 Click here


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From: The Great Gussius
Subject: Homer the prophet

Homerisms

Books are useless! I only ever read one book, To Kill A Mockingbird, and it
gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught
me not to judge a man by the color of his skin . .
. but what good does that do me?

Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?

Oh Bart, don't worry, people die all the time. In fact, you could wake up
dead tomorrow.

All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me--so let's just do
this, and I'll get back to killing you with beer.

Lisa: That's Latin, Dad--the language of Plutarch.
Homer: Mickey Mouse's dog?

When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous blood-sucking monsters
always wanting more . . . more . . . MORE! And if you give it to them,
you'll get plenty back in return.

Son, a woman is a lot like a . . . a refrigerator! They're about six feet
tall, 300 pounds. They make ice, and . . . um . . . Oh, wait a minute.
Actually, a woman is more like a beer.

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step
over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna
drink another woman!

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to
read the manual and press the right buttons.

Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.

Dear Lord, thank you for this microwave bounty, even though we don't
deserve it. I mean . . . our kids are uncontrollable hellions! Pardon my
French, but they act like savages! Did you see them at the picnic? Oh, of
course you did. You're everywhere, you're omnivorous. Oh Lord! Why did you
spite me with this family?

What's a wedding? Webster's dictionary describes it as the act of removing
weeds from one's garden.

Owww, look at me, Marge, I'm making people happy! I'm the magical man, from
Happy Land, who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane! . . . By the
way I was being sarcastic.

The code of the schoolyard, Marge! The rules that teach a boy to be a man.
Let's see. Don't tattle.
Always make fun of those different from you. Never say anything, unless
you're sure everyone feels exactly the same way you do.


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From: The Great Gussius
Subject: SHORT JOKES

Happy New Year everyone, here's a start.............


Took a dyslexic bird home last night, and she ended up cooking my sock!

Had to have a blood transfusion the other day. All they had left was 2
pints of African blood, and 2 pints of Pakistani blood. It's not as bad as
it sounds, I now have a 12 inch c*ck, and I am top of the housing list.

Sat opposite an Indian lady on the train today, she shut her eyes and
stopped breathing. I thought she was dead until I saw the red spot on her
forehead, and then realised she was just on standby.

Just fostered a Muslim kid. All 4 cans hit him right on the back of the
head.

Got a right beating last night by a 6ft 7in black bloke.  All I said was,
golly you're tall.

Last week me and this Pakistani from work decided to have a moustache and
beard growing competition.  I still can't believe she beat me.


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From: The Great Gussius

This Easter, I'll be kneeling at the foot of an ancient instrument of
torture and consume ritualistic symbols of blood and flesh...and if any of
you care to join me, come to the chapel on Sunday, kneel beneath the
crucifix, and take Holy Communion.

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From: Anonymous
Subject: Fantastic photos some photo shopping going on??
Very unusual photos that cannot be explained.


 Click here

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From: Digi Maria
Subject: Update on my Surgery...

Friends,
Most of you know I went in for a surgical procedure for a Butt Lift.  I
didn't have the most pleasant experience.  I should've left well enough
alone. EWWWW!
.
I wanted to show you how it turned out.  I hope this keeps YOU from having
this done.
.
Please, PLEASE, PLEASE . . . don't get a
Butt Lift.  You will most certainly regret it!!!


 Click here


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From: Kaos_reflex
Subject: I've seen that look before....

OF COURSE I'M GONNA SNIFF IT!

 Click here

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From: Liz
Subject: The Wizard

 Click here

 Click here


...is 70 years old.
Today, if Dorothy were to encounter men with no brains, no hearts,
and no courage, she wouldn't be in Oz.
She'd be in Congress!


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From: Liz
Subject: A problem with Really Big Screen TVs

 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: 'Twas the night before Christmas ...

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: Life

 Click here


Ahhh, the miracle of life.


My how the time flies!!

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From: Liz
Subject: Rain in Las Vegas

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

This is what 5 days of rain looks like in Vegas

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From: Liz
Subject: Whale rescue

 Click here


...The Whale... If you read a recent front page story of the San Francisco
Chronicle, you would have read about a female humpback whale who had
become entangled in a spider web of crab traps and lines. She was weighted
down by hundreds of pounds of traps that caused her to struggle to stay
afloat. She also had hundreds of yards of line rope wrapped around her
body, her tail, her torso, a line tugging in her mouth.

A fisherman spotted her just east of the Farallon Islands (outside the
Golden Gate ) and radioed an environmental group for help. Within a few
hours, the rescue team arrived and determined that she was so bad off, the
only way to save her was to dive in and untangle her.

They worked for hours with curved knives and eventually freed her. When she
was free, the divers say she swam in what seemed like joyous circles. She
then came back to each and every diver, one at a time, and nudged them,
pushed them gently around as she was thanking them.

Some said it was the most incredibly beautiful experience of their lives.
The guy who cut the rope out of her mouth said her eyes were following him
the whole time, and he will never be the same.

May you, and all those you love, be so blessed and fortunate to be
surrounded by people who will help you get untangled from the things that
are binding you.

And, may you always know the joy of giving and receiving gratitude. I pass
this on to you in the same spirit.


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From: Liz
Subject: The 'Toons are Getting Better

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here


The 'Toons are Getting Better


Ok ... Last One Today ...
Leave it to some old guy to come up with this poster.


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From: Liz
Subject: OWLS

 Click here


Wonderful photos of a variety of owls in their natural environment.

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From: Liz
Subject: I see you!

 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: Doctor Exam

 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: Minnesota entrepreneur

One way to get your walks shovelled and still make a profit!

 Click here

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From: Liz
Subject: West Of Canada

 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: Cartoons from around the world.

Australia France Netherlands Canada Slovakia Sweden Sweden & USA

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: Grupa MoCarta w Operze - Eine Kleine Welt Musik
Quartet with a twist

 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: The miracle of booze

 Click here

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From: Liz
Subject: Canadians have great beer commercials!!!!

 Click here


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From: Liz
Subject: Quote of the week

Unless scripted, Fred always gets to the point!

Best quote of the week:

Obama said : "Some people in DC talk about me like a dog"......

Fred Thompson replied : "Maybe it's because he keeps treating this country
like a fire hydrant"

  Way to go Fred...

 Click here

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From: Liz
Subject: Chamonix

 Click here

Warm socks required.

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From: Muse
Subject: When cars were really cars...

These Chevy billboards put up around the brands hometown of Detroit
celebrate the cars fantastic design history.

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Sack
Subject: Great Photos By Patrick Notley

 Click here


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From: Whizzbang
Subject: SHARK ATTACKS

 Click here


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From: Whizzbang
Subject:  Merry Xmas

 Click here


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From: anonymous
Subject: National Geographic photos

 Click here


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From: anonymous
Subject:  Picking up Chicks

 Click here


A truly touching story....truly touching!!
I met a girl in the park the other evening.

There was an instant spark between us and she immediately dropped to her
knees and laid on the grass at my feet.

As we lay making love, I thought these Taser guns are well worth the
money.â€


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Well that's your lot for another week folks; special thanks this week to
Liz who may be searching for a life. LOL!

Quote of the week:

"Read over your compositions, and wherever you meet with a passage which
you think is particularly fine, strike it out."

Samuel JOHNSON.



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[ End friday humour ]

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