Friday humour - December 31, 2010

[from Steve @ Bluehaze]

Seasons Greetings! It is that time of year again, and an eventful year it
has been. Great sadness greeted Davo's decision to leave the FH editorship
fold, but as Burnout said, he has been doing it for a very long time, and
truly deserves a long break. I salute
Davo's dedication over so many years.

But the sadness and gloom accompanying the prospect of FH folding have been
swept aside by The Great Gussius, who has boldly stepped up to fill the
blank space in the roster. Last week's edit was testament to his obvious
talent. I do hope he remains in the fold for a long time.

Who knows what 2011 will bring that is unexpected. I suspect we will see
more extreme weather, more Labor spankings, and more taxes. But they are
all really quite expected. Hopefully FH will prevail in diluting the less
expected darker aspects of 2011.

A diverse set this week from Arfermo, Bubblehead, Burnout, Diks, Kaos
Reflex, Liz, Mad Mick from Marwick, Mitta, Nottingham Smithie,
Sack, Seasoldier, Stumpy Steve, The Great Gussius, and the many
unidentified, including some golden oldies repeats not seen here since
1999.

Enjoy!

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Buffalo Airways still operates a daily scheduled DC-3 passenger service for
residents in Canada's Northwest Territories and is likely the last airline
to do so. They plan to bring two of their "3s" to EAA AirVenture Oshkosh
this summer.
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

An Irish Family Tradition

Paddy, had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition .

It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been
able to walk on water on their 18th birthday .

On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the
far side for their first legal drink.

So when Paddy's, 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mick, took a
boat out to the middle of the lake, Paddy, stepped out of the boat ...and
nearly drowned!

Mick just barely managed to pull him to safety. Furious and confused,
Paddy, went to see his grandmother.

'Grandma,' he asked, "It's my 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the
lake like my father, his father, and his father before him?"

Granny looked deeply into Paddy's, troubled brown eyes and said, "Because
your father, your grandfather and your great grandfather were all born in
December, when the lake is frozen, and you were born in August, ya dip
sh*t

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Two Irish nuns have just arrived in Canada by boat. One says to the other,
"I hear that the people of this country actually eat dogs."

"Odd," her companion replies, "but if we shall live in Canada, we might as
well do as the Canadians do."

As they sit, they hear a push cart vendor yell "Get your dogs here," and
they both walk towards the hot dog cart. "Two dogs,
please!" says one nun.

The vendor, very pleased to oblige, wraps both hot dogs in foil and hands
them over.

Excited, the nuns hurry to a bench and begin to unwrap their 'dogs'.

The mother superior is first to open hers. She begins to blush and then,
staring at it for a moment, leans to the other Nun and whispers cautiously
...

"What part did you get"?

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Two Tennessee rednecks are out hunting, and as they are walking along they
come upon a huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by
the size of it.

The first hunter says, "Wow, that's some hole. I can't even see the bottom.
I wonder how deep it is."

The second hunter says," I don't know, let's throw something down and
listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom."

The first hunter says, "There's this old automobile transmission here, give
me a hand and we'll throw it in and see".

So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and
throw it in the hole.

They are standing there listening and looking over the edge and they hear a
rustling in the brush behind them.

As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up
to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first.

While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole
and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.

"Say there," says the farmer, "you fellers didn't happen to see my goat
around here anywhere, did you?"

The first hunter says, " Funny you should ask, but we were just standing
here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin' about a
hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this hole here!"

The old farmer said, "That's impossible.

I had him chained to a transmission!

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

1. "It's so long since I've had s*x, I've forgotten who ties up whom." Joan
Rivers

2. "If it wasn't for pick-pockets and frisking at airports I'd have no s*x
life at all." Rodney Dangerfield

3. "S*x is one of the most wholesome, beautiful and natural experiences
that money can buy." Steve Martin.

4. "My girlfriend said to me in bed last night' 'you're a pervert' I said,
'that's a big word for a girl of nine'." Emo Philips.

5. "When I'm good I'm very, very good but when I'm bad I'm better." Mae
West.
6. "What's wrong with a little incest? It's both handy and cheap." James
Agate

7. "I think people should be free to engage in any s*xual practices they
choose; they should draw the line at goats though." Elton
John.

8. "My wife is a s*x object. Every time I ask for s*x, she objects." Les
Dawson

9. "I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own." Woody Allen

10. "A terrible thing happened to me last night again - Nothing." Phyllis
Diller

11. "The Love Bird is 100% faithful to his mate, as long as they are locked
together in the same cage." Will Cuppy

12. "Bis*xuality doubles your chances of a date on a Sat*rday night." Woody
Allen

13. "My best birth control now is to leave the lights on." Joan Rivers

14. "It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on." Marylyn
Munroe.

15. "Oh Lord give me chastity, but do not give it yet." St Augustine

16. "The majority of husbands remind me of an orang-utan trying to play the
violin." Honore de Balzac

17. "My love life is terrible. The last time I was inside a woman was when
I visited the Statue of Liberty." Woody Allen

18. "Happiness is watching the TV at your girlfriend's house during a power
failure." Bob Hope

19. "I'm glad I'm not bis*xual. I couldn't stand being rejected by men as
well as women." Bernard Manning.

20. "I blame my mother for my poor s*x life. All she told me was, 'the man
goes on top and the woman underneath'. For three years my husband and I
slept on bunk beds." Joan Rivers

21. "I chased a girl for two years only to discover that her tastes were
exactly like mine: We were both crazy about girls." Groucho
Marx

22. "She said he proposed something on their wedding night that even her
own brother wouldn't have suggested." James Thurber

23. "My mother was like a sister to me, only we didn't have s*x quite so
often." Emo Philips.

24. "It is impossible to obtain a conviction for sodomy from an English
jury. Half of them don't believe that it can physically be done, and the
other half are doing it." Winston Churchill

25. "You know of course that the Tasmanians, who never committed adultery,
are now extinct." Somerset Maugham

26. "A nymphomaniac is a women as obsessed with s*x as the average man."
Mignon McLaughlin

27. "I believe that s*x is a beautiful thing between two people. Between
five, it's fantastic." Woody Allen.

28. "When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having s*x, there is
an important lesson to be learned. Do not have s*x with the authorities."
Matt Groening.

29. "If there is reincarnation, I'd like to come back as Warren Beatty's
fingertips." Woody Allen

30. "Before we make love my husband takes a pain killer." Joan Rivers.

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Here's why History is important...

So, I've been curious about the history of the site of this new mosque in
New York. Having done some research, I'm very impressed by the wealth of
information available on the Internet for researching history.

The time line that I discovered goes something like this - stick with it to
the end.

1625 - New Amsterdam founded by Dutch settlers

1674 - New Amsterdam becomes New York in a treaty settlement between
England and the Netherlands.

1697 - Trinity Church founded. Many people know Trinity Church because it
sits at the end of Wall Street and is one of the oldest churches in the
country. George Washington used to go to Trinity Church when he was in New
York.

1705 - Queen's Farm is given to Trinity Church. The land continues to be a
farm where they raised wheat. The deed required that the farm provide 60
bushels of wheat annually for the support of the church.

1754 - King's College, later Columbia College. Searching the history, we
learn that the land for Columbia was granted by Trinity
Church out of the Queen's Farm pact.

1843 – The first location of Columbia College can be found on a map of New
York City dated 1843. That entire block, which today contains Corodba
House, was the location of Kings College / Columbia College.

An interesting side note that I discovered was an amazing number of
newspaper articles talking about children being attacked by feral pigs in
Manhattan. Apparently it has been a problem for centuries and only in the
1900s did they get the problem under control. They believe the pigs were
originally brought by the first Dutch settlers and through various
circ*mstances escaped and became wild.

Now comes the interesting part where we can start putting it all together.
The site of the mosque in New York, the most controversial building since
I.M. Pei built some pyramids in Paris is located on the grounds that used
to be Columbia University,
prior to that Kings College and prior to that a farm supporting Trinity
Church, growing wheat, but alas, not slaughtering pigs.

And the really interesting part is this: The settlers who came from Europe,
brought their farming methods with them, including the use of manure in
their fields. And of course, the animal of choice to raise in New
Amsterdam was pigs.

So I have ceased to be angry at the mosque, now knowing that every square
inch of their land was previously covered in pig sh*t.

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London .

A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishman want to get in, but they haven't
got tickets.

The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover, tucks it under his arm and walks to
the gate. "McTavish, Scotland " he says, "Discus" and in he walks.

The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his
shoulder. "Waddington-Smythe, England " he says, "Pole vault" and in he
walks.

The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it
under his arm. "O'Malley, Ireland," he says, "Fencing".

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

For Christmas, the children brought gifts for their teacher.

The supermarket manager's daughter brought the teacher a basket of assorted
fruit.

The florist's son brought the teacher a bouquet of flowers.

The candy-store owner's daughter gave the teacher a pretty box of candy.

Then the liquor-store owner's son brought up a big, heavy box. The teacher
lifted it up and noticed that it was leaking a little bit. She touched a
drop of the liquid with her finger and tasted it.

"Is it wine?" she guessed.

"No," the boy replied. She tasted another drop and asked,

"Champagne?".

"No," said the little boy, it's a puppy!"

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

People are awesome.
 Click here

  ___._-fah-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fah-_.___

Shortest horror film ever made...
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Santa Claus: An Engineers Perspective

I. There are approximately two billion children (persons under 18) in the
world. However, since Santa does not visit children of
Muslim, Hindu, Jewish or
Buddhist religions, this reduces the workload for Christmas night to 15% of
the total, or 378 million (according to the Population
Reference Bureau).

At an average (census) rate of 3.5 children per house hold, that comes to
108 million homes, presuming that there is at least one good child in
each.

II. Santa has about 31 hours of Christmas to work with, thanks to the
different time zones and the rotation of the earth, assuming he travels
east to west (which seems logical). This works out to 967.7 visits per
second. This is to say that for each Christian household with a good
child, Santa has around 1/1000th of a second to park the sleigh, hop out,
jump down the chimney, fill the stockings, distribute the remaining
presents under the tree, eat whatever snacks have been left for him, get
back up the chimney,
jump into the sleigh and get on to the next house.

Assuming that each of these 108 million stops is evenly distributed around
the earth (which, of course, we know to be false, but will accept for the
purposes of our calculations), we are now talking about 0.78 miles per
household; a total trip of 75.5 million miles, not counting bathroom stops
or breaks. This means Santa's sleigh is moving at 650 miles per second ---
3,000 times the speed of sound. For purposes of comparison, the fastest
man-made vehicle, the Ulysses space probe, moves at a poky 27.4 miles per
second,
and a conventional reindeer can run (at best) 15 miles per hour.

III. The payload of the sleigh adds another interesting element. Assuming
that each child gets nothing more than a medium sized Lego set (two
pounds), the sleigh is carrying over 500 thousand tons, not counting Santa
himself. On land, a conventional reindeer can pull no more than 300 pounds.
Even granting that the "flying" reindeer could pull ten times the normal
amount, the job can't be done with eight or even nine of them--- Santa
would need 360,000 of them. This increases the payload, not counting the
weight of the sleigh, another 54,000 tons, or roughly seven times the
weight of the Queen Elizabeth (the ship, not the monarch).

IV. 600,000 tons travelling at 650 miles per second creates enormous air
resistance --- this would heat up the reindeer in the same fashion as a
spacecraft re-entering the earth's atmosphere. The lead pair of reindeer
would absorb 14.3 quintillion joules of energy per second each. In short,
they would burst into flames almost instantaneously, exposing the reindeer
behind them and creating deafening sonic booms in their wake.

The entire reindeer team would be vaporized within 4.26 thousandths of a
second, or right about the time Santa reached the fifth house on his trip.

Not that it matters, however, since Santa, as a result of accelerating from
a dead stop to 650 m.p.s. in .001 seconds, would be subjected to
centrifugal forces of 17,500 g's. A 250 pound Santa (which seems
ludicrously slim) would be pinned to the back of the sleigh by 4,315,015
pounds of force, instantly crushing his bones and organs and reducing him
to a quivering blob of pink goo.

Therefore, if Santa did exist, he's dead now.

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Crazy scene In Spokane, Washington as cars lose control on the ice
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

A Merry Christmas
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Global Warming
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Norwegian Fire Dept.

One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota, a fire started inside the
local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive
flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around.

When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical
company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret
formulas are in the vault in the centre of the plant. They must be saved.
I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."

But the roaring flames held the fire-fighters off.

Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became
desperate. As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the
offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the
company's secret files.

From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into
sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company
composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement,
that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek
engines that were parked outside the plant.

Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off
right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides. It was a
performance and effort never seen before.

Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and
had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company president
announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to
$200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire
fighters.

The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking
their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"

"Vell," said Ole Lar*en, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve
gonna do is fix da brakes on dat old firetruck!"

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house not a creature
was stirring ... not even a mouse

Maybe I should have invested in one of those carbon monoxide detectors.

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

An airline pilot finishes giving a message to the passengers & forgetting
to turn off the intercom says to his co-pilot "That's us done for the next
3 hours so I'm going to have a cr*p then I'm going to shag the ar*e off
that new blonde stewardess'.

In the cabin the stewardess hears him & rushes down the aisle to tell him
to turn off the intercom.

Half way down an old lady grabs her arm & says "No need to rush love he's
having a cr*p first'.

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Darwin Awards - feline contender:
 Click here

Darwin Awards 2010:

Named in honour of Charles Darwin, the father of evolution, the Darwin
Awards commemorate those who improve our gene pool by removing themselves
from it.

Contender No 1:

(25 August 2010, Daejon, South Korea (Security camera video available
online) A handicapped man, annoyed that an elevator closed and departed
without him, thinks it over before ramming his wheelchair into the doors
not once, not twice, but three times in all--only to plunge down the now
empty elevator shaft to his death. Simultaneous success and failure
combine to earn the 40-year-old lasting immortality as a Darwin Award
winner.

The tragic downfall of this rashly rushing rammer provides a heartening
example of how brilliant you are -- compared to some!
However, natural selection just got a little harder. The authorities traced
the "problem" to elevator doors that cannot withstand a large impact.
Safety regulations were strengthened three years after the elevator was
installed, to prevent accidents "such as might happen to children and
drunks."

Contender No 2 (and maybe 3):

Who would park the car on a busy freeway in heavy fog, for a quickie?

Picture this: A young couple driving on Via Dutra, the major freeway in
Brazil with tons of heavy traffic, at 6AM under heavy fog the couple
decided to park the car for "dating," according to the charming Google
translation. And yes, they parked in the right lane of freeway, not on the
shoulder or at a gas station -- and naturally, a huge cargo truck comes by
and runs right over the car,
immediately killing both inside during the act. Double Double Darwin! Two
(2) people making two obviously stupid decisions, and natural selection
acts at the very moment the two are reproducing .

. . Textbook Darwin Award.

Contender No 3:

Another account from the archives of a 30-year ER MD.

In the late fall and early winter months, snow-covered mountains become
infested with hunters. One ambitious pair climbed high up a mountain in
search of their quarry. The trail crossed a small glacier that had crusted
over. The lead hunter had to stomp a foot-hold in the snow, one step at a
time, in order to cross the glacier.

Somewhere near the middle of the glacier, his next stomp hit not snow but a
rock. The lead hunter lost his footing and fell. Down the crusty glacier he
zipped, off the edge and out of sight.

Unable to help, his companion watched him slide away. After a while, he
shouted out, "Are you OK?"

"Yes!" came the answer.

Reasoning that it was a quick way off the glacier, the second hunter
plopped down and accelerated down the ice, following his friend. There,
just over the edge of the glacier, was his friend...holding onto the top
of a tree that barely protruded from the snow.

There were no other treetops nearby, nothing to grab, nothing but a
hundred-foot drop onto the rocks below. As the second hunter shot past the
first, he uttered his final epitaph: a single word, which we may not utter
lest our mothers soap our mouths.

Contender No 4 (another double bunger):

(19 July 2010, Washington) Two out-of-town race car crew were at a machine
shop that builds and services race cars, when they dreamed up an unusual
thrill ride. Fire Chief Dean Klinger reported that on Sunday evening, "the
men poured four gallons of methanol into a 55-gallon barrel in the parking
lot, sat on top of the barrel, and lit the bunghole."

The men were in the town of Sedro-Woolley (pop. 10,000) to participate in
the American Sprint Car Series at Skagit Raceway.
Apparently they thought the barrel would slide across the parking lot like
a rocket sled, with a tail of flame shooting out with two rodeo clowns
sitting on top, waving their caps and hooting. But instead of sliding
across the pavement, the barrel blew up beneath them. Who woulda thunk
that 4 gallons of methanol inside a 55-gallon drum would be a bomb?

The explosion was so powerful that one end of the barrel landed 120 feet
away from the blast site. The two landed in Harborview
Medical Center in Seattle.

Racing folks are smart people with a high degree of mechanical ability. The
work is risky, but this was not a random "shop accident." Rather, it was a
dangerous and ill-conceived stunt by two bored men who were hoping to find
some fun in the small town of
Sedro-Woolley. Instead of fun, one man lost his life, and a second survived
with a sober lesson on the power of combustion.

Contender No 5:

(April 2010, Romania) A thirty-five-year-old man from Braila was only
trying to fix a broken soil tamper, a tool his father had made himself and
used for decades. The metal handle of this family heirloom had rusted loose
and our man was trying to weld it back into position, but unfortunately he
was welding the metal rod onto an antique WWII cannon shell.

Yes, the family had been banging a cannon shell against the garden dirt for
two generations!

Specialists from the Bucharest ISU (General Institute for Emergency
Situations) stated that the first weld had been made in a harmless
position, but the second weld was made in exactly the wrong spot. The heat
triggered the shell to explode, mortally wounding the man. In his defence,
he was sure the projectile was harmless because his father had used it to
compact earth for almost 40 years.

Natural selection sometimes skips a generation.

Contender No 6:

1 October 2010, ARIZONA | The Grand Canyon, one of the seven wonders of the
world, recently welcomed home the soul of one of the witless wonders of the
world. The death of a 42-year-old California man named Andrew, who was
leaping from outcropping to outcropping on the South Rim near Pipe Creek
Vista, reminds me of an incident in March 2000 involving a "financial
entrepreneur" visiting the famous National Park.

Because of the tiresome problem of tourists farting their way into
disaster, the more treacherous overlooks in the Grand Canyon are protected
by fences and signs. All of these overlooks are spectacular. Some have
towering columns, some have small plateaus that tourists toss coins onto,
like dry wishing wells.

Make a wish!

One entrepreneur wished for financial success. And there in front of him
was a means to an end. He had a brilliant, an obvious,
idea. No stranger to danger, the man climbed over the fence with a bag,
leapt to one of the precarious, coin-covered perches, and filled the bag
with booty. Harvest time!

But. When he tried to leap back to the safe side, he went head to head with
physics. Specifically, F=mg. Our entrepreneur had increased his mass, and
the force required to lift himself against the pull of gravity was now
greater.

The heavy bag of coins arrested his jump, and the birds were treated to a
view of his long plunge to the valley floor below,
followed by a shower of coins. Brilliant idea with a fatal flaw in the
execution.

Gravity. More than a good idea, it's The Law.

Contender No 7: Third time lucky.

(1 January 2010, South Africa) Pop quiz, class. Do you or don't you go
swimming in the crocodile-infested Limpopo? Do, or don't,
leave your friends on the banks of the great grey-green Olifants River
(main tributary of the Limpopo) and swim in its limpid waters not once,
not twice, but three times the day you are finally devoured by that old
crocodile? Let's just say it was a short New Year for Mariska B., 27, a
waitress and former swimmer.

According to a long-time resident of Phalaborwa, locals know, "You don't
even put a toe in the river. It's teeming with crocodiles and hippos."
This local, on her third refreshing dip of the day, didn't have time to
scream or struggle. Friends saw just a ripple on the water where seconds
before she had been swimming.

Did I mention that swimming was strictly prohibited? Police searched for
Mariska's body with long poles, and with the chemical detectors known as
sniffer dogs, but found nothing. The cycle of life continues.

Contender 8:

(10 January 2010, Brazil) An electrical discharge made toast of municipal
guard Arthur de Souza Coelho, 47, on Sunday evening.
According to police reports, he had installed a tiny electric fence around
his car to protect against the frequent robberies that occur in his
neighbourhood in Belem, Para. Then (direct translation from Portuguese)
"he forgot that he had left the fence on and he ended dying with the
electric shock."

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

I think I love you.

A fifth of a second: Falling in love is more scientific than you think

A new meta-analysis study conducted by Syracuse University Professor
Stephanie Ortigue is getting attention around the world. The
groundbreaking study, "The Neuroimaging of Love," reveals falling in love
can elicit not only the same euphoric feeling as using cocaine, but also
affects intellectual areas of the brain. Researchers also found falling in
love only takes about a fifth of a second.

Ortigue is an assistant professor of psychology and an adjunct assistant
professor of neurology, both in The College of Arts and
Sciences at Syracuse University.

Results from Ortigue’s team revealed when a person falls in love, 12 areas
of the brain work in tandem to release euphoria-inducing chemicals such as
dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline and vasopression. The love feeling also
affects sophisticated cognitive functions,
such as mental representation, metaphors and body image.

The findings beg the question, “Does the heart fall in love, or the brain?”
“That’s a tricky question always,” says Ortigue. “I would say the brain,
but the heart is also related because the complex concept of love is
formed by both bottom-up and top-down processes from the brain to the
heart and vice versa. For instance, activation in some parts of the brain
can generate stimulations to the heart, butterflies in the stomach. Some
symptoms we sometimes feel as a manifestation of the heart may sometimes
be coming from the brain.”

Other researchers also found blood levels of nerve growth factor, or NGF,
also increased. Those levels were significantly higher in couples who had
just fallen in love. This molecule involved plays an important role in the
social chemistry of humans, or the phenomenon ‘love at first sight.’ “These
results confirm love has a scientific basis,” says Ortigue.

The findings have major implications for neuroscience and mental health
research because when love doesn’t work out, it can be a significant cause
of emotional stress and depression. “It’s another probe into the brain and
into the mind of a patient,” says
Ortigue. “By understanding why they fall in love and why they are so
heartbroken, they can use new therapies.” By identifying the parts of the
brain stimulated by love, doctors and therapists can better understand the
pains of love-sick patients.

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Very luck people.
 Click here Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Maxine
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Short & Funny
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Leroy The Redneck Reindeer
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

In the spirit of Christmas, and strictly for the musically inclined!
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

This is fascinating!
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Australian "Weather" Pictures
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Subject: GREETINGS AT THAT TIME OF YEAR!

I wanted to send some sort of holiday greeting to my friends and
colleagues, but it is difficult in today's world to know exactly what to
say without offending someone. So I met with my lawyer yesterday, and on
advice I wish to say the following:

Please accept with no obligation , implied or implicit , my best wishes for
an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low stress, non
addictive, gender neutral celebration of the summer solstice holiday
practised with the most enjoyable traditions of religious persuasion or
secular practices of your choice with respect for the religious / secular
persuasions and / or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice
religious or secular traditions at all.

I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically
uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar
year 2011 , but not without due respect for the calendar of choice of
other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make our country
great ( not to imply that Australia is necessarily greater than any other
country ) and without regard to the race, creed, colour, age,
physical ability,
religious faith or s*xual preference of the wishee.

By accepting this greeting, you are accepting these terms:

This greeting is subject to clarification or withdrawal. It is freely
transferable with no alteration to the original greeting. It implies no
promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for her /
him or others and is void where prohibited by law, and is revocable at the
sole discretion of the wisher. The wish is warranted to perform as expected
within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or
until the issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher.

Best Regards ( without prejudice )

Name withheld ( Privacy Act ).

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

      Ah-the-eah the-eah That's All (for this week) Folks!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ End friday humour ]

 Previous (December 24, 2010)  Index Next (January 07, 2011)