Friday humour - December 24, 2010

From Gussius @ Bluehaze

Season’s Greetings to all our readers wherever you find yourself. I've just
joined the illustrious editorial team here at Bluehaze this week, so be
gentle.

If you’re driving any distance over the holiday period, remember what
fatigue and alcohol can do to slow your reflexes. Don’t become a Temporary
Australian on the roads this Christmas/New Year, or anywhere or anytime
else.

After a prolonged dry spell, one brave local politician finally admitted
the drought had broken in the light of widespread flooding rains over the
last three months across Australia. The weather bureau is not so sure and
still has an each way bet on continuing drought.

International Superstar Julian Assange, is now free and well on his way to
become Australia's second Saint. After seriously upsetting the
establishment just as Mary McKillop did, he only needs to do a few more
things like set up an orphanage, wait 100 years and cure a couple of
people. Maybe a knighthood…

This week’s contributions were sent in by Planeman, Arfermo, Biggus,
Burnout, Diks, Duke of Barsinov, Liz, Kaos reflex, Muse and of course 
Anonymous aplenty.

To begin this Christmas edition, check out the era of digital technology
and social media:

 Click here

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Best Christmas Lights Display

 Click here

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Why Shanghai schooled the US: Americans think they're too smart to work
hard

 Click here

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This is worth another look:

Bucking Frilliant..... Ronnie Barker - Genius!!

This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the 70's. Ronnie Barker could
say all this without a snigger, though God knows after how many takes.

The irony is, BBC received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must
have been too much for the whining herds... Try getting through it without
converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read.......

This is the story of Rindercella the dyslexic princess and her sugly
isters.

Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella
worked very hard frubbing sloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot.
At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered.
The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and
the other was called
Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet
and fatty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but
the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.

Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her
name was Shairy
Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six
mite wice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge
hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told
Rindercella to be back by dimnlight otherwise, there would be a cucking
falamity. At the ball,
Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock
struck twelve. "Mist all chucking frighty!!!" said Rindercella, and she
ran out tripping bar*e over ollocks, so dropping her slass glipper.

The very next day, the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and
the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and
let off a fig bart. "Who's fust jarted?" asked the prandsome hince. "Blame
that fugly ucker over there!!" said Mary Hinge.

When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on
both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty
Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in
the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig
bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking
ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome
hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and
Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!

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Waitress: "Do you have any questions about the menu?"

Me: "Yes. What kind of font is this?"

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A random man came up to me the other day and threw a handful of Lego blocks
at me. I really don't know what to make of this.

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The result of a Darwin survey:

Question - What's the Northern Territory's indigenous population's most
feared insect?

Answer - The "FlagonDry"

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I've just renamed my wifi network to "Police Surveillance Van #02".

That should keep my dodgy neighbours on their toes for a while.

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Senior code texting.......
STC (Senior Texting Code). Just in case you get a message and didn't know
the new codes.

ATD: At The Doctor's
BFF: Best Friend Farted
BTW: Bring The Wheelchair
BYOT: Bring Your Own Teeth
CBM: Covered By Medicare
CUATSC: See You At The Senior Center
DWI: Driving While Incontinent
FWB: Friend With Beta Blockers
FWIW: Forgot Where I Was
FYI: Found Your Insulin
GGPBL: Gotta Go, Pacemaker Battery Low!
GHA: Got Heartburn Again
HGBM: Had Good Bowel Movement
IMHO: Is My Hearing-Aid On?
LMDO: Laughing My Dentures Out
LOL: Living On Lipitor
LWO: Lawrence Welk's On
OMMR: On My Massage Recliner
OMSG: Oh My! Sorry, Gas
ROFL... CGU: Rolling On The Floor Laughing...And Can't Get Up
SGGP: Sorry, Gotta Go Poop
TTYL: Talk To You Louder
WAITT: Who Am I Talking To?
WTFA: Wet The Furniture Again
WTP: Where's The Prunes?
WWNO: Walker Wheels Need Oil

GLKI (Gotta Go, Laxative Kicking In)

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Those Fabulous Jewish Comedians:

You may remember the old Jewish Catskill comics of Vaudeville days: Shecky
Greene, Red Buttons,
Totie Fields, Joey Bishop, Milton Berle, Jan Murray, Danny Kaye, Henny
Youngman, Buddy Hackett,
Sid Caesar, Groucho Marx, Jackie Mason, Victor Borge, Woody Allen, Joan
Rivers, Lenny Bruce,
George Burns, Allan Sherman, Jerry Lewis, Peter Sellers, Carl Reiner,
Shelley Berman, Gene
Wilder, George Jessel, Alan King, Mel Brooks, Phil Silvers, Jack Carter,
Rodney Dangerfield, Don
Rickles, Jack Benny and so many others.

And there was not one single swear word in their comedy. Here are a few
examples:

* I just got back from a pleasure trip. I took my mother-in-law to the
airport.

* I've been in love with the same woman for 49 years! If my wife ever finds
out, she'll kill me!

* What are three words a woman never wants to hear when she's making love?
"Honey, I'm home!"

* Someone stole all my credit cards but I won't be reporting it. The thief
spends less than my wife did.

* We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

* My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night;
only this time I stayed in the bathroom and cried.

* My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it
the Dead Sea .

* She was at the beauty shop for two hours. That was only for the estimate.
She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.

* The Doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill
so the doctor gave him another six months.

* The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. "
Mrs. Cohen answered, "So did my arthritis!"

* Doctor: "You'll live to be 60!" Patient: "I am 60!" Doctor: "See! What
did I tell you?"

* Patient: "I have a ringing in my ears." Doctor: "Don't answer!"

* A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says, "You've been brought
here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."

* Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

The Harvard School of Medicine did a study of why Jewish women like Chinese
food so much. The study revealed that this is due to the fact that Won Ton
spelled backward is Not Now.

There is a big controversy on the Jewish view of when life begins. In
Jewish tradition, the fetus is not considered viable until it graduates
from medical school.

Q: Why don't Jewish mothers drink? A: Alcohol interferes with their
suffering. .

Q: Why do Jewish mothers make great parole officers? A: They never let
anyone finish a sentence!

A man called his mother in Florida , "Mom, how are you?" "Not too good,"
said the mother. "I've been very weak." The son said, "Why are you so
weak?" She said, "Because I haven't eaten in 38 days." The son said,
"That's terrible. Why haven't you eaten in 38 days?" The mother answered,
"Because I didn't want my mouth to be filled with food if you should call."

A Jewish boy comes home from school and tells his mother he has a part in
the play.
She asks, "What part is it?" The boy says, "I play the part of the Jewish
husband." "The mother scowls and says, "Go back and tell the teacher you
want a speaking part."

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to change a light bulb? A: (Sigh)
"Don't bother. I'll sit in the dark. I don't want to be a nuisance to
anybody."

Short summary of every Jewish holiday: They tried to kill us. We won. Let's
eat.

Did you hear about the bum who walked up to a Jewish mother on the street
and said, "Lady, I haven't eaten in three days." "Force yourself," she
replied.

Q: What's the difference between a Rottweiler and a Jewish mother? A:
Eventually, the Rottweiler lets go.

Q: Why are Jewish men circ*mcised?

A: Because Jewish women don't like anything that isn't 20% off.

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INTERNET WARNING

If you get an email titled "Nude photo of Ann Widdecombe", DON'T open it.
It contains a nude photo of Ann Widdecombe.

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Removing snow from a roof:

 Click here

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Atheists ain't got no songs!

Steve Martin and friends sing!

THIS ONE'S GOING AROUND PRETTY HOT AND HEAVY... DIDN'T WANT YOU TO MISS
IT....

 Click here

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The Irish Twelve Days of Christmas (Frank Kelly):

 Click here

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Medal of Honor:

SSgt Sal Giunta awarded the Medal of Honor

 Click here

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Blue Christmas... Elvis and Martina McBride

Martina McBride was digitally dropped into this track in 2008...

 Click here

(Elvis - Born January 08, 1935 / Died August 16, 1977 // Martina - Born
July29, 1966)

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And how about a blue sunset?

 Click here

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Old Westerns:

Just click on 'Those Old Westerns' and enjoy --

 Click here

One look at this film clip and you'll be young and old all over again.

BUT WAIT -- THERE'S MORE!!!!

Ever wonder just who all those minor characters were who populated western
after western with few lines and a familiar face.

Well, the clip has pictures and names --so after 50 or so years -- say
"howdy" to some of those general store, saloon keeper, blacksmith
mini-heroes from your youth.

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Mosque you say? Here's the solution

Plant a pig

Please donate to your local "Plant A Pig Foundation" today. Not tax
deductible, but well worth the effort.

In Spain, at Seville some local people found a way to stop the construction
of another mosque in their town. They buried a pig on the site, making sure
this would be known by the local press.
Islamic rules forbid erecting a Mosque on "pig soiled ground". The Muslims
had to cancel the project. This land had been sold to them by government
officials. No protests were needed by the local people. And it worked!!

Not dummies, the Spaniards. They found a solution!

In Texas we have an over abundance of feral pigs. We could send them all
over the country and just plant them everywhere! After all, contaminated
soil would surely drift. They could create new job programs by having soil
testers to determine where contaminated soil existed. Of course, high on
the mountain tops of the Rockies or other mountain ranges they might find
some uncontaminated soil, but then, building a mosque there would pose
some problems. Americans, put on your thinking caps and let's find a
solution to this problem of a spreading menace to the
American way of life! If pigs are the answer let's do it!

Our Committee for the Betterment of America

"My reading of history convinces me that most bad government results from
too much government." - Thomas Jefferson

"When people fear their government, there is tyranny. When government fears
their people, there is liberty." - Thomas Jefferson

"A Nation of Sheep will beget a Government of Wolves." - Edward R. Murrow

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The Lion Whisperer

Kevin Richardson, zoologist and animal behaviouralist, raises and trains
some of the most dangerous animals known to man.

To do this he does not use the common methods of breaking the animal's
spirit with sticks and chains, instead he uses love, understanding and
trust. With this unusual method of training he has developed some
exceptionally personal bonds with his students.

He sleeps with lions, cuddles newborn hyenas, swims with lionesses.

Kevin can confidently look into their eyes, crouch to the their level and
even lie down with them - all taboos in the normal world of wild animal
handling - yet he has never been mauled or attacked.
Some call him crazy; others shake their heads at his unique method of
interacting with the animals.

And Kevin's secret - get to know the particular personality of each animal,
what makes them angry,
happy, upset, irritated - just like a mother with a child.

 Click here

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A Christmas Wish:

May peace break into your house and thieves come steal your debts.

May the pockets of your jeans become a magnet for $100 notes.

May love stick to your face like sunscreen and laughter assault your lips

May happiness slap you across the face and your tears be that of joy

and may all the problems you had forget your home address

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A Sunday morning review of African news stories:

The Cape Times ( Cape Town )

"I have promised to keep his identity confidential,' said Jack Maxim, a
spokeswoman for the
Sandton Sun  Hotel, Johannesburg , "but I can confirm that he is no longer
in our employment. We asked him to clean the lifts and he spent four days
on the job. When I asked him why, he replied:
'Well, there are forty of them, two on each floor and sometimes some of
them aren't there'.
Eventually, we realised that he thought each floor had a different lift,
and he'd cleaned the same two twelve times. "We had to let him go.
It seemed best all round. I understand he is now working for Escom."

2. The Star ( Johannesburg ) "The situation is absolutely under control,"
Transport Minister Ephraem
Magagula told the Swaziland Parliament in Mbabane . "Our nation's merchant
navy is perfectly safe.
We just don't know where it is, that's all." Replying to an MP's question,
Minister Magagula admitted that the landlocked country had completely lost
track of its only ship, the Swazimar: "We believe it is in a sea somewhere.
At one time, we sent a team of men to look for it, but there was a problem
with drink and they failed to find it, and so, technically, yes, we've
lost it a bit. But I categorically reject all suggestions of incompetence
on the part of this government. The Swazimar is a big ship painted in the
sort of nice bright colours you can see at night. Mark my words, it will
turn up. The right honourable gentleman opposite is a very naughty man,
and he will laugh on the other side of his face when my ship comes in."

3. The Standard ( Kenya) "What is all the fuss about?" Weseka Sambu asked a
hastily convened news conference at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport .
"A technical hitch like this could have happened anywhere in the world.
You people are not patriots You just want to cause trouble."
Sambu, a spokesman for Kenya Airways, was speaking after the cancellation
of a through flight from Kisumu, via Jomo Kenyatta, to Berlin . "The
forty-two passengers had boarded the plane ready for take-off, when the
pilot noticed one of the tyres was flat. Kenya Airways did not possess a
spare tyre, and unfortunately the airport nitrogen canister was empty. A
passenger suggested taking the tyre to a petrol station for inflation, but
unluckily the jack had gone missing so we couldn't get the wheel off. Our
engineers tried heroically to re-inflate the tyre with a bicycle pump,
but had no luck, and the pilot even blew into the valve with his mouth, but
he passed out. "When I announced that the flight had to be abandoned, one
of the passengers, Mr Mutu, suddenly struck me about the face with a
life-jacket whistle and said we were a national disgrace. I told him he
was being ridiculous, and that there was to be another flight in a
fortnight. And, in the meantime, he would be able to enjoy the scenery
around Kisumu, albeit at his own expense."

4. From a Zimbabwean newspaper While transporting mental patients from
Harare to Bulawayo ,
the bus Driver stopped at a roadside shebeen (beerhall) for a few beers.
When he got back to his vehicle, he found it empty, with the 20 patients
nowhere to be seen. Realizing the trouble he was in if the truth were
uncovered, he halted his bus at the next bus stop and offered lifts to
those in the queue. Letting 20 people board, he then shut the doors and
drove straight to the Bulawayo mental hospital, where he hastily handed
over his 'charges', warning the nurses that they were particularly
excitable. Staff removed the furious passengers; it was three days later
that suspicions were roused by the consistency of stories from  the 20. As
for the real patients: nothing more has been heard of them and they have
apparently blended comfortably back into Zimbabwean society.

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Breaking News: More than two dozen dead on Christmas Island Shipwreck.
Result! I told the kids it was Santa and his elves. Saved a bloody fortune
on Christmas presents this year.

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I had a part-time job at B&Q until the other day. This couple came in with
their young son to look at
Christmas trees. The little sod kept knocking one of the trees over so I
nailed it to the floor. That's when the mother started screaming and the
father called an ambulance. I didn't think they liked my ethos of parental
control.

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When travelling in extreme weather conditions the Government advise that
you should carry, a shovel, a flask, a hi-viz jacket, rock salt, and a
blanket. Well, I looked a right plank when I got on the bus.

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100% AUSSIE !!!!!!

LOG ON : Adding wood to make the Barbie hotter.
LOG OFF: Not adding any more wood to the Barbie.
MONITOR: Keeping an eye on the Barbie..
DOWNLOAD: Getting the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE: Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD: Where you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOW: What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN: What you shut in the mozzie season.
BYTE: What mozzies do.
MEGABYTE: What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP: A bar snack.
MICROCHIP: What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM: What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP: Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE: Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE: Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE: The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME: What holds the shed up.
WEB: What spiders make...
WEBSITE: Usually in the shed or under the veranda.
SEARCH ENGINE: What you do when the Ute won't go..
CURSOR: What you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO: What you say when the Ute does go...
UPGRADE: A steep hill.
SERVER: The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER: The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
USER: The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK: What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET: Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE: What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.
ONLINE: Where you hang the washing.
OFFLINE: Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.

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ARE WE REALLY THAT OLD?

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

If you have gotten this before, sorry. If not take a look....

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China in 7.1 Million Bytes

 Click here

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A Christmas Note

 Click here

Subject: Fw: A Christmas Note

Hi Sweetheart,

I am sorry about getting into an argument about putting up the Christmas
lights.

I guess that sometimes I feel like you are pushing me too hard when you
want something.

I realize that I was wrong and I am apologizing for being such a
hard-headed guy.

All I want is for you to be happy and be able to enjoy the holiday season.

Nothing brightens the Christmas spirit like Christmas lights!

I took the time to hang the lights for you today and now I will be off to
the golf course.

Again, I am very sorry for the way I acted yesterday.

I'll be home later.

Love you??

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AT THE TEMPLE OF SOLOMON

A female CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been
going to the Western
Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time.

So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was,
walking slowly up to the holy site.

She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave,
using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

"Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?

"Morris Feinberg," he replied.

"Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?"

"For about 60 years."

"60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?"

"I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims."

"I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop."

"I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and
to love their fellow man."

"How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?"

"Like I'm talking to a f*cking wall."

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Stoppie in a pie van.

 Click here

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Adults only...

This may be too hot for some of you, but what the heck............ Click
Below

 Click here

Hey! I really doubt that she's 17 years old like she claims.

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Thanks and please...............

 Click here

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Boo!

 Click here

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Don't mess with a golfer... they carry clubs:

 Click here

For all my golfing buddies..... enjoy!

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Black Forest (Der Schwarzwald)

 Click here

Enjoy a tour of the Black Forest in Germany.

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Waiting for Santa...love it!

 Click here

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Wedding:

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

Capitalist side of China

A Wedding in ShanXi Traditionally a very poor region of China until the
discovery of vast coal deposits.

Have a look at a wedding involving one of the coal boss' family.

A Ferrari here can only be the escort car

Wedding limo: Rolls-Royce Phantom

The Groom's house

Part of the dowry (cheque, gold bars and gold rice bowl set)

The Lambo (second one) is also part of the dowry

Groom with the best men "team"

Picking up the bride

Bride's home

The lucky bride

Part of the escort team

A 3.000 manicure, forget the diamond ring.

Giving the "Open the Door" Red Packets

Receiving the red packets on the other side

Bride's family

The wedding hall

This is one fleet for a wedding on June 20, 2009 in Datong,

a major city in Shanxi. Of course, involving another coal magnate.

F360

40 Porsche Cayennes, Range Rovers, BMW X5 and Audi Q7 are not counted as
the wedding fleet,
only escorts.

Classic Ferrari 575M

The escort team's job is to go ahead of the wedding fleet to

"clear the road"

The camera team

6 Jeeps as camera team
4 Ferrari leads 4 Rolls Royce main fleet 6 Mercedes 6 Bentleys 20 Audi A8s
Hummer at the back Cayennes for "odd jobs"

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Walter is back:

 Click here

If you have a few minutes and need a laugh, lots of laughs, watch this.

Walter is back!

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Must View - threats to your financial health:

Content: What next?

Click on the link below (it's quite the story):

 Click here

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Christmas Greetings

 Click here

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Advent Calender 2010:

 Click here

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Irish Traffic Lights:

 Click here

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Christmas gift idea:

TIMES ARE HARD

 Click here

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He sent her roses:

 Click here Click here

May we all be loved like this. :Red heart emoticon AHEM!!!

The person who did this was Jack Benny....

Please read this - it is absolutely beautiful.....

Each year he sent her roses,

And the note would always say,

I love you even more this year,

Than last year on this day.

My love for you will always grow,

With every passing year.'

She knew this was the last time

That the roses would appear.

She thought, he ordered roses

In advance before this day.

Her loving husband did not know,

That he would pass away.

He always liked to do things early,

Way before the time.

Then, if he got too busy,

Everything would work out fine.

She trimmed the stems and

Placed them in a very special vase.

Then, sat the vase beside

The portrait of his smiling face.

She would sit for hours,

In her husband's favorite chair.

While staring at his picture,

And the roses sitting there.

A year went by, and it was

To live without her mate..

With loneliness and solitude,

That had become her fate.

Then, the very hour,

The doorbell rang, and there

Were roses sitting by her door.

She brought the roses in,

And then just looked at them in shock..

Then, went to get the telephone,

To call the florist shop.

The owner answered, and she asked him,

If he would explain, Why would someone

do this to her, causing her such pain?

'I know your husband passed away,

More than a year ago,'

The owner said,

'I knew you'd call, and you would want to know.'

The flowers you received today,

Were paid for in advance.

Your husband always planned ahead,

He left nothing to chance.

There is a standing order,

That I have on file down here,

And he has paid, well in advance,

You'll get them every year

There also is another thing,

That I think you should know,

He wrote a special little card... he did this years ago.

Then, should ever I find out that he's no longer here,

that's the card that should be sent to you the following year.'

She thanked him and hung up the phone, her tears now flowing hard.

Her fingers shaking,

As she slowly reached to get the card.

Inside the card, she saw that he

Had written her a note...

Then, as she stared in total silence,

This is what he wrote..

'Hello my love, I know it's been a year

Since I've been gone....

I hope it hasn't been too hard for you to

Overcome.

I know it must be lonely,

And the pain is very real.

For if it was the other way,

I know how I would feel.

The love we shared made everything

So beautiful in life.

I loved you more than words can say,

You were the perfect wife.

You were my friend and lover,

You fulfilled my every need.

I know it's only been a year,

But please try not to grieve..

I want you to be happy,

Even when you shed your tears.

That is why the roses will be sent to you for years

When you get these roses,

Think of all the happiness that we had together,

And how both of us were blessed.

I have always loved you and

I know I always will.

But, my love, you must go on,

You have some living still.

Please... try to find happiness,

While living out your days.

I know it is not easy,

But I hope you find some ways.

The roses will come every year,

And they will only stop,

When your door's not answered,

When the florist stops to knock.

He will come five times that day,

In case! You have gone out.

But after his last visit,

He will know without a doubt!

To take the roses to the place,

Where I've instructed him

And place the roses where we are,

Together once again.

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;

Someone who changes your life

Just by being part of it.

Someone who makes you laugh

Until you can't stop;

Someone who makes you believe

That there really is good in the world.

Someone who convinces you

That there really is an unlocked door

Just waiting for you to open it.

This is Forever Friendship.

This is the sacred RED ROSE.

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Da man:

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

Since getting KO'd, Anthony has been trying other sports.

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

See below - Unbelievable:

 Click here Click here

Security from work sent this to us and this may be helpful to understand
between both types of mirrors. I thought it important to pass along.

A Mirror or a 2-Way Glass? How can you tell when you are in a room,
restroom,
motel etc. with a mirror or a 2-way glass?

Here's how: I thought it was quite interesting! And I know in about 30
seconds you're going to do what I did and find the nearest mirror.

Do you know how to determine if a mirror is 2-way or not? A policewoman who
travels all over the
US and gives seminars and techniques for businesswomen passed this on.

When we visit toilets, bathrooms, hotel rooms, changing rooms, etc., how
many of you know for sure that the seemingly ordinary mirror hanging on
the wall is a real mirror, or actually a 2-way mirror (i. e., they can see
you, but you can't see them)? There have been many cases of people
installing 2-way mirrors in female changing rooms . It is very difficult
to positively identify the surface by looking at it.

So, how do we determine with any amount of certainty what type of mirror we
are looking at?

Just conduct this simple test: Place the tip of your fingernail against the
reflective surface and if there is a GAP between your fingernail and the
image of the nail, then it is GENUINE mirror.
However, if your fingernail DIRECTLY TOUCHES the image of your nail, then
BEWARE! IT IS A 2-
WAY MIRROR!

"No Space, Leave the Place" So remember, every time you see a mirror, do
the "fingernail test." It doesn't cost you anything.

REMEMBER. No Space, Leave the Place:

Ladies: Share this with your girlfriends, sisters, daughters, etc.

Men: Share this with your wives, daughters, daughters-in-law, mothers,
girlfriends and/or friends.

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Finally a computer setting I understand!

 Click here

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Please raise your hand...:

 Click here

Who is over worked & ready for this year to end? Please raise your hand...

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

A thought to wrap up the year:
People who think they know it all, upset those of us who really do.

___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Over and out.

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[ End friday humour ]

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