Friday humour - June 25, 2010
Well here we are again, another Prime Minister, but this one is a woman!
It has been interesting watching the Labour Party catch up with the real
world these last few weeks. Blind Freddy (some bloke called Frederick who
cannot see) could have told them what was wrong, and probably did.
It is sad that the repair is so invasive, and maybe way too late, and
that our first female PM will could well only last a couple of months,
but who knows, maybe this one can keep a promise, or even show some
competence, or heaven forbid, CONSULT and DELEGATE!
I wonder when Malcolm will make his move ... again!
Anyway, at least something in politics will be interesting for a few days
or even a couple of weeks ...
This week's collection courtesy of Biggus, Burnout, Cartographer Chris,
Digi Steve, Diks, Megazorch, Muse, Nottingham Smithie, Sack,
Stumpy Steve, Whizzbang and the ever present anonymi.
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Julia (didn’t take long)
Click here Click here Click here Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Paddy tells Mick he's thinking of buying a labrador.
Fook off say's Mick, have you seen how many of their owners go blind.
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
People wonder why ships are referred to as "she" when the answer's obvious.
As soon as they come in to port they head for the buoys,
they often reach astonishing weights and density, they make one hell of a
noise, a fortune is spent trying to make them look pretty and without a
man at the helm, they become an unpredictable death trap.
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
No ordinary jigsaw this! The picture is moving as you work on it. Drag the
pieces together to complete the jigsaw. It can be done!
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.
Doctor: "What happened?"
Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home
drunk he beats me to a pulp."
Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes home
drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth.
Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is
asleep."
Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and
reborn.
Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my husband came home
drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished,
and he didn't touch me!"
Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Awesome World Cup Calendar
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Crazy fish tanks
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Canadian eh! A YouTube video produced in London, Ontario, Canada by
long-time friends and music collaborators Julia Bentley and
Andrew Gunadie.
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Paddy Murphy went to the hospital as his wife was having a baby.
Upon arriving, the Nurse says 'Congratulations, your wife has had quins - 5
big baby boys.'
Paddy says, 'I'm not surprised, I have a willie on me like a chimney.'
The nurse replies, 'You'd need to get it cleaned because the babies are all
black.'
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Favourite Animal
Our teacher asked us what our favourite animal was, and I said, "Fried
chicken."
She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, everyone else in
the class laughed.
My parents told me to always be truthful and honest, and I am. Fried
chicken is my favourite animal. I told my dad what happened,
and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA. He said they love
animals very much. I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef.
Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office. I told him what
happened, and he laughed too. Then he told me not to do it again.
The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favourite live animal
was. I told her it was chicken.
She asked me why, just like she'd asked the other children.
So I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken. She
sent me back to the principal's office again. He laughed,
and told me not to do it again.
I don't understand. My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher
doesn't like it when I am. Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what
famous person we admire most.
I told her, "Colonel Sanders".
Guess where I am now ...
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
What do you call the first Pakistani off the boat? ... Amir
What do you call the second Pakistani off the boat? ... Amir Aswell
What do you call the third Pakistani off the boat? ... Amir Aswell Asim
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
John Howard, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil
tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the
devil informs him that the cost is a million dollars, so
Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is
finished the devil informs her that the cost is 6 million dollars, so she
writes him a check.
Finally John Howard gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is
finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00.
When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Howard got
to call Australia so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies: "Since Rudd took over, the country has gone
to hell, so it's a local call.
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Try to sort this lot out ... [this will make the filter work hard - Ed.]
Some white c*nt called some black c*nt a c*nt. Some other black c*nt,
thought the white c*nt was a c*nt for calling the black c*nt a c*nt. Now
the black c*nt who wasn't a maroon c*nt, doesn't want to be a blue c*nt
anymore, and neither does the white c*nt. Now no c*nt is sure which c*nt
is a c*nt. Now if some c*nt can tell me which c*nt is the real c*nt, I may
not get too confused next time I am looking for some c*nt.
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
This would be very cool
Wouldn't this be great? No slipping in and out of things; no messed up hair
And no one else would have actually tried on your garment! No more lipstick
or makeup on your favourite selection either! What a great invention! They
already have this tech in Japan ...
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Love Women with a sense of humour
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
2nd Amendment
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Work this one out
Click here
Americans ...
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Beer Ad
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Paintball accident
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
The Blues' scare at training ...
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
New Texas motorcycle seat
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Crazy stuff
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
People of Wal-Mart
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Rugby rules
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
BP's final option
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Peeping Tom
Click here
Shame on you.
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Beautiful rides ...
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Cat Theatre in Moscow
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Church Signs in England.
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Weather Report with included temperature gauge
Click here
WOW, that’s cold.
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Clever advertising
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Fish On
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Let tolerance prevail before we ban the burka ...
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Look at these fools!
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Lennox Waterspout
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
Click here Click here Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Bad Morning?
Click here Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Nothing to do?
Try not to spend all day at this ...
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
A useful community service reminder.
Click here
___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___
Ah-the-eah the-eah That's All (for this week) Folks!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ End friday humour ]
Previous (June 18, 2010)
Index
Next (July 02, 2010) 