Friday humour - May 07, 2010

Modern and post-modern art is nihilistic and anti-human. It denigrates
humanity along with our hopes, dreams, desires and the real world in which
we live. All reference to any of these things is forbidden in the
canonistic halls of modernist ideology. We can see that their hallowed
halls are a hollow shell, a vacuous vacant vault that locks their devotees
away from life and humanity, while stripping mankind of his dignity. It
ultimately bores the overwhelming majority of it's would be audience who
can find nothing with which to relate.

It has been called exciting and "avant-garde," but the sad truth is that it
is incredibly humdrum and monotonous. Whether you glue together pieces of
plastic or shards of glass, assemble metal scr*ps or piles of feathers.
Whether you dribble little dollops of colours or drag fat uneven slashes of
black. Whether you compile a mountain of paper or wrap the statue of
liberty. The effect is always the same: meaningless primitivism. Modernism
is art about art. It endlessly asks the question ad nauseum: what is art?
What is art? They believe that only those things that expand the boundaries
of art are good; all else is bad. It is art about art. Whereas, all of the
great art in history is art about life.

If as I do you feel that standards need to be returned to the art world,
then please go to this site and read the mission statement, all hope is not
lost if enough of us reject the total cr*p they often call art these days.

 Click here

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The Holy Land in 3D.............This is amazing!!!

When you open up the site, go to the bottom of the picture and click on one
of the smaller pictures. When it comes up, double click on the big screen
picture, or small picture, and you will be able to really zoom in and do a
360 look all around. Makes you feel like you are right there!

 Click here

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 From: KRP
Flooding in outback Australia;
 Click here

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 From   Moose
New Company Word of the day:
FOCUS

When you are annoyed with someone tell them to FOCUS
F#*K  Off    Cause U're Stupid!

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From: Sack
 retirement plan

So you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is no nursing
home available for you - what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older a gun and 4 bullets. You are
allowed to shoot 2 MP's and 2 Ministers - not necessarily dead!

Of course, this means you will be sent to prison where you will get 3 meals
a day, a roof over your head, central heating, and all the health care you
need!  New teeth - no problem.  Need glasses, great.  New hip, knees,
kidney, lungs, heart?  All covered. (And your kids can come and visit you
as often as they do now).
And who will be paying for all of this?  The same government that just told
you that you they cannot afford for you to go into a home.
Plus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any income taxes
anymore.

IS THIS A GREAT COUNTRY OR WHAT?

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From: Stumpy Steve

Trafalgar Square was brought to a standstill last night when Gordon Brown
was found naked with a 25 litre can of petrol ready to douse himself and
end it all, because of the Britain's 200 Billion debt. The Metropolitan
Commissioner has ordered that all motorists are to be stopped on entering
London and asked for a donation. So far a 1 million litres of petrol have
been donated.

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 From: Stumpy Steve

Gordon Brown was out jogging and unfortunately he tripped and fell into a
canal. Before his security staff could get to him a young lad jumped in
and dragged him to safety. Gordon told him he could have anything he
wanted. The lad said he would like a motorised wheelchair with a built in
TV system.
'Really, you don't look disabled?' The lad replied, 'I will be, when I tell
my dad who I've just f*****g saved!

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 From: Stumpy Steve

Police Do Care

The Northampton Police report finding a man's body in the River Nene, near
Becketts Park. The dead man's name will not be released until his family
has been notified..
The victim apparently drowned due to excessive beer consumption.
He was wearing black fishnet stockings, a red garter belt, a pink G-string,
a strap-on dildo, purple lipstick, and a 'Gordon for PM' in 2010 T-shirt.

He also had a cuc*mber in his rectum.
The police removed the Gordon Brown T-shirt to spare his family any
unnecessary embarrassment.

In spite of what we sometimes think, the Police do care.

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From: Whizzbang

New Company Word of  the day:

FOCUS

When you are annoyed  with someone tell them to FOCUS
F#*K  Off   Cause U're Stupid!


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From: Allnutts
 Short Story

 Click here

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 From: Anonymous
 Good morning

 Click here

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From: Anonymous
Smallest Twin Engine Airplane in the World

 Click here

Notice when he lands, he taxi's past several of these EAA planes

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 From: Anonymous
 Seatbelt Commercial

 Click here

Much more effective than scare tactics

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 From: Anonymous
KULULA Airlines - an airline with a sense of humour!
 Click here Click here Click here

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From: Anonymous
 LIGHT BEER

 Click here

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From: Burnout
 Flying Lawnmower

 Click here

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 From: Burnout
Oh Sh*t! It's stuck................

 Click here

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AN OLD FARMER TOOK CARE OF THINGS HIS WAY !

Air Force One crashed in the middle of rural England. Panic stricken,
the local police mobilized and descended on the farm in force. When they
got there,the disaster was clear. The aircraft was totally destroyed with
only a burned hulk left smoldering in a tree line that bordered a farm.

The police chief and his men entered the smoking mess but could find no
remains of anyone,including the prime minister

They spotted a lone farmer plowing a field not too far away as if nothing
at all happened. They hurried over to the man's tractor.

Bill the Police officer yelled, panting and out of breath. "Did you see
this terrible accident happen?"

"Yep. Sure did." the farmer mumbled unconcernedly, cutting off the
tractor's engine.

"Do you realize that is the airplane of the Mr Brown the prime minister
"Yep."

"Were there any survivors?"

"Nope. They's all kilt straight out," the farmer answered. "I done buried
them all myself. Took me most of the morning..."

Mr Brown "is dead?" the Police chief shouted.

"Well," the farmer grumbled, restarting his tractor. "He kept a-saying he
wasn't... But you know how bad that Barstard lies."

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 From: Kaos_reflex
Graphic images of how body piercings effect you. You are warned!!

 Click here

Maybe if this is passed on, people will avoid body piercings & realise what
the effect(s) are/can be.
I don't normally forward such images but to save a "pretty" face from being
mutilated I hope that this illustrates to people the negative side of what
is called (I believe) ART!

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 From: Muse
Shower pools

 Click here

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 From: Stumpy Steve
 NEW ITALIAN POLICE CAR.

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here

A new patrol car in the Italian police force..Just what they need to catch
speeding drivers
What a car!! Pity they could'nt find someone who could drive it...

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 From: Stumpy Steve
New Irish Traffic Sign.

 Click here

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 From: The Great Gussius
Why are front row concert seats so expensive?
 Click here Click here
Because They're worth it!!

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From: Whizzbang
 Epic Fails
 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
 For those who like a challenge!
 Click here

Please look at the maths below:
They say only people with an IQ of 120+ are able to figure this out.

If:
2 + 3 = 10 7 + 2 = 63 6 + 5 = 66 8 + 4 = 96
Then:
9 + 7 = ????
The number you find out is the password to open the attachment.
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From: Whizzbang
  INGLIS IS SPIKEN HERE...

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here
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From: Whizzbang
Behind every great child is a Great Parent!!!

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here
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 From: Whizzbang
Golf tips

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

These  12 pictures should help improve your game and  bring you hours of
satisfaction.
 I  bet she plays 'TWISTER' really well  too!!
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From: Whizzbang
Look at the tits on this....

 Click here

Do not blame me, some smart ar*e sent it to me, I am just passing it on.

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[ End friday humour ]

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