Friday humour - April 30, 2010

From Burnout @ Bluehaze

"Lest we forget"

I had a few ideas I wanted to share with you this week. However,
I got to the last contribution sent in this week and.....
Well you read it for yourself:

From: anonymous
Subject: Kevin 07!

Got to love points 17-19 ... now the country can do without an ETS for 3
years apparently!


Achievements of the Rudd Government (Nothing we don't already know - but it
is interesting to see it all put together in summary.)


A friend asked me the other day, "But what has the Rudd government actually
achieved?" I said, rather sarcastically, "Quite a few things 'Like 'Sorry'
to the stolen generation; ratified the
'Kyoto' protocol, and he organised the 'best and brightest summit' (wow)
But my friend then asked me again ,"But has anything really been
achieved?'  That got me thinking about it and prompted me to do some
research,
which led to the compilation of the following list. Here's what I came up
with:

1  Said 'Sorry' several times, for a range of things.

2  Ratified the 'Kyoto' protocol, as it was about to expire without a
successor.

3  Organised 'best and brightest summit' - if anything useful came out of
that, I missed it.

4  Set up 'fuel watch', a costly fiasco, since totally abandoned.

5  Set up 'grocery watch' ,another costly fiasco, also since totally
abandoned.

6  Established the Australian Social Inclusion Board. This rarely heard of
bureaucracy was set up because "Every Australian should have an
opportunity to be a full participant in the life of the nation.
Unfortunately, too many Australians remain locked out of the benefits of
work, education, community engagement and access to basic services. This
social exclusion is a significant barrier to sustained prosperity and
restricts Australia's future growth". If there is any evidence to support
this argument it wasn't included in the announcement. The Board has been
described as a "complete wank, .... the biggest waste of tax dollars
imaginable, towards some more Rudd-style feel-goodism". That was in May
2008. It probably did seem a big waste of tax dollars then, but it's been
turned into a drop in the ocean by what's happened since.

7  Set up the home insulation program - what a disaster!
It was a disaster because Rudd so wanted the Feds to be able to claim the
credit, he gave it to his cosseted Dept of
Environment. This feel-good department, whose Ministers' previous
experience, was as a lead singer in a rock band; is full of environmental
scientists and climate change disciples, with zero experience in dealing
with the real world, or in delivering real programs.  Four deaths, a
Minister demoted, (but not sacked or had his salary reduced), and then $50
million to former ACTU heavy, Greg Combet, to fix it. And, by the way,
Combet says that that may not be enough. It should also be noted that the
claimed potential environmental benefits - were grossly exaggerated. Rudd
said he took full responsibility, but I don't know what that means - he's
still PM, he's still drawing his salary and highly favourable
superannuation benefits.

8  Set up SIHIP (Strategic Indigenous Housing and
Infrastructure Program). This program was initiated by a MoU in September
2007. In July 2009 the ABC (hardly a hot-bed of opposition to the ALP)
reported on its Lateline program that it was yet to build a single house.
That was despite $45.54 million of its $672 million budget having been
spent. A government report dated August 2009, said the program was being
criticized as - too slow to deliver; its governance was overly
bureaucratic; and the program is too costly in terms of unit cost of
housing and administration. The revised program budget is still $672m with
each new house expected to cost $450,000 or $529,000 after factoring in a
proportion of administration costs and
"contingencies".
As at 1st February 2010, 2 of a targeted 750 houses, and 70 of 2,500
refurbishments, have been completed. Gross incompetence -
no other words for it!

9  Sent money direct to taxpayers and non-taxpayers to spend on large
screen imported TV's, to stimulate the economy and avoid the effects of
what Rudd and Swan called- 'the worst depression since the 1930's". In
fact, unemployment was 11% in 1991 and in 2009 it didn't get to 6%, which
not too many years ago would have been regarded as virtually full
employment.
Remember Beattie's target - 5%? But if you can't maintain your popularity
rating by sending money to voters, what can you do?

10  Promised that every child in every school in Australia would get a
computer. This program is moving so slowly that most of the people who
were high school students at the time of the promise, will have left
school before they see a new computer.

11  Set up the $70m Green Loans mess - people gave up their jobs, paid
$3,000 for qualifications and insurance to be trained as assessors, only
to find the demand for green loans had been grossly exaggerated, many more
assessors were trained than the program envisaged,
and there was no work for most of them. The Courier-Mail reported on 2 Feb
2010, that:
"The Federal Government predicted up to 200,000 homeowners would take up
the loans and only 1,000 have done so ....instead of training 1,500 to
2,000 well-qualified assessors, the Government permitted a blow-out and it
is now estimated there will be up to 11,500 well-qualified assessors". The
program has now been transferred to Penny
Wong's department - that should fix it (sic).

12  Turned a good budget surplus into such a huge debt,
that our grandchildren will have so much trouble servicing, that our
population will have to increase rapidly to help pay it down. Blamed it
all on the GFC, while steadfastly refusing to give a scintilla of credit
to Howard and Costello, for leaving them an excellent surplus budget
position to work with. Merely said that the previous government had been
'lucky' and enjoyed a robust mining boom.

13  Didn't include any major infrastructure in the stimulus package,
because the effects would be felt too slowly (except for duplicating
school halls and gyms).

14  Set up the home solar hot water initiative, which was abruptly ended
three weeks early with eight hours notice.
This caused chaos in the industry, and many people that intended to lodge
an application, missed out. Peter Garrett blamed a cost blow-out, from the
original estimate of $150 million to $750 million a year, for the knee-jerk
reaction cut-back. More incompetent budgeting and planning!

15  Disbanded "Work Choices". He had to do this because it was the unions'
self-funded campaign against it that got him elected. Replaced it by
giving back powers to the unions and re-instating the Industrial Relations
Club. Set up Fair Work Australia, with what seems to many - as nothing more
than an over-representation of people with union backgrounds. Jobs for the
boys!


16  Changed the previous government's immigration laws so successfully
(sic), that the exponential blow-out in illegal boat arrivals, has created
a need for a lot more accommodation on Christmas
Island.

17  Said "the science 'is in' on climate change" and claimed the ETS would
fix it. Labeled sceptics as deniers, among other derogatory things.

18  Attempted to railroad the ETS through the Senate before Copenhagen, for
no other reason than it would have allowed Rudd to strut the world stage.
What a fiasco that was, but a delightful result.

19  Went to Copenhagen taking 114 government free-loaders with him (one of
the largest of the 190 delegations), at huge cost to the Australian
taxpayer and the world environment. I haven't seen any announcement of the
cost of the junket (and I doubt that we ever will),
but I'm sure that whatever was hoped to be achieved, that at least 100 of
the free-loaders were superfluous to even the most fanciful outcome and/or
requirements of Rudd and Wong.
This has been a monumental blunder, but then even Turnbull has totally
misread the Climate Change issue.

20  Refuses to debate the use of nuclear power generation to reduce
pollution, because it's against ALP and union policy. So,
what's he saying ? that several of the world's largest economies are fools
for employing it? The rest of the world (sensible rational thinkers, that
is) must think we are stupid, a backyard full of uranium,
but not a nuclear power station in sight.

21  Has opened one of 2,650 promised "trades training centres"; one of 260
promised child care centres in schools and TAFE; and 2 of 31 promised GP
Super Clinics.

22  Attracted 752 retired nurses back into the profession using a
return-to-work bonus. When they announced this scheme,
Labor hoped 7,750 would take up the offer. Who advises this government?

23  Removed Labor's original 2007 election promises from the ALP website.
But we remember them, even if they don't.

24  Promised to take Japan to court on whaling, but now says that will not
be until November, which will probably be after the election. Admittedly,
this is a ticklish one.

25  Has so far kept the Henry Tax Review secret for political reasons. Last
week Rudd was saying it wouldn't be released until after the election.
Wiser heads have since made him realise people won't vote for a new tax
system when they don't know what's in it. And there must be something
nasty in it, either unpalatable to the voters,
or inconsistent with ALP policy, either way, you can be sure the Rudd spin
doctors would've heralded it as another triumph, if it were otherwise.
Gutless wonders!

26  Announced he will keep 30% of the state's GST to fund 60% of their
hospital costs. The 60% funding will have strings attached. The states
have not been given any of the details, just the executive summary, and he
expects them to agree to the proposals without knowing what the strings
are, or what he might take back with the other hand under the Henry Tax
Review. The announcement doesn't explain how it will improve delivery of
hospital services, but it will probably add another layer of bureaucracy
to the health system. Australia already has 450,000 bureaucrats looking
after 290,000 health professionals.
The announcement was hurriedly made in March 2010, after it had been
pointed out that he had imposed a June 2009 deadline on himself for reform
of the hospitals system.
Perhaps this explains the lack of details. Refer back to the criticisms of
SIHIP above. I think it'll be deja vue all over again.
Rudd said if the states block his plan he will take it to a referendum,
which of course is just grandstanding.


27. Turned Gillard loose with $16.7 billion to give building contractors,
states and bureaucrats a feast, in return for
COLA's and unwanted libraries and gyms ? the insulation racket all over
again in spades. And to think that this woman is only a heartbeat away
from the PM's chair, perish the thought.(see below)


28  Last week he trotted out five senior ministers to criticise the Senate
for being "obstructionist". The 5 were Jenny (SIHIP) Macklin, Penny (ETS)
Wong, Lindsay (clean nose) Tanner, Nicola (new hospital system) Roxon, and
Greg (Mr Fixit) Combet. I think Rudd is lucky the Senate has been
obstructionist, because if it wasn't, he'd have more failures to add to
his already (un)impressive list. I noticed that Gillard was too sneaky
smart to join this line-up of puppets, and she has also managed not to be
associated with too many of the above "achievements" - actually, she is
lying very low whilst the "schools building fiasco inclusive of criminal
activities" is unfolding. Here's your chance, Tony, she's going to finally
have to put her head above the parapet, so prepare well and don't miss..


   Compiled by a concerned Australian citizen / voter


WELL, THERE IT IS. IF I HAVE MISSED ANYTHING, I APLOGIZE,
BUT HEY, FEEL FREE TO ADD ANY LEGITAMITE OMISSIONS. ALSO, REMEMBER THAT
AN ELECTION WILL BE HELD IN 2010, SO MAKE SURE THIS LIST OF
"ACHIEVMENTS" IS WIDELY CIRCULATED. RUDD THE DUD HAS HAD HIS CHANCE AND
HE'S
COME UP WAY SHORT OF EVEN OUR MINIMAL EXPECTATIONS.


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So now its on with some fun - keep those funnies coming in people - ED

Anonymous sent in these; which explains what stopped all the flights around
Eourope.

These photos are exceptional.

 Click here

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Subject: Get Fit

Two weeks ago Carl William's dad visited him in prison.
He looked at Carl and said "Geez Carl, you're getting a bit chubby....
.....an exercise bike wouldn't kill ya!!

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From: Croydon Caz
Subject: Only in Liverpool. (Very funny - ED)

 Click here


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From: Stumpy Steve
Subject: Dear Lord

Dear Lord,

I know that I haven't talked to you that much, but this past year you have
taken away my favorite actor, Patrick Swayze, my favorite actress, Farah
Fawcett, my favorite musician, Michael Jackson, and my favorite salesman,
Billy Mayes.
I just wanted to let you know that my favorite prime minister is Gordon
Brown.

Amen

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NO PARENT LEFT BEHIND.....
I promise you cannot read these and not laugh out loud.....

These are real notes written by parents in the Memphis school district .


Spellings have been left intact......


  1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please
execute him.


  2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.


  3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,
32 and also 33.


  4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.


  5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out
of a tree and misplaced his hip.


  6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.


  7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football.   He was
hurt in the growing part.


  8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by
very close veins.


  9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.


10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.


11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had  diahre  
dyrea   direathe the sh*ts.


12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday.. He had diarrhea, and
his boots leak.


13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.


14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i
don't know what size she wear.


16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get
the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it
was sunday.


17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her
funeral.


18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a
weekend with the marines.


19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could
not breed well.


20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with
gramps.


21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.


22. Please excuse Brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.


23. Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever,
sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an
sore throat , her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I
wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever.
There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.


Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids.


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Let's spare a thought for Michael O'Leary, Chief Executive of Ryanair.

Arriving in a hotel in Dublin, he went to the bar and asked for a pint of
Guinness.

The barman nodded and said "That will be one Euro please, Mr. O'Leary,"

to which Michael replied "That's a very competitive price" and handed over
his money.

"Will you be wanting a glass with your Guinness, sir?" enquired the barman.

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Subject of colonoscopies colonoscopies are no joke but these ...

If you have had one you will know how true this is


ABOUT THE WRITER: Dave Barry is a Pulitzer Prize-winning humor columnist
for the Miami Herald.

Colonoscopy Journal:

I called my friend Andy Sable, a gastroenterologist, to make an appointment
for a colonoscopy.


A few days later, in his office, Andy showed me a color diagram of the
colon, a lengthy organ that appears to go all over the place, at one point
passing briefly through   Minneapolis.

Then Andy explained the colonoscopy procedure to me in a thorough,
reassuring and patient manner.


I nodded thoughtfully, but I didn't really hear anything he said, because
my brain was shrieking, 'HE'S GOING TO STICK A TUBE 17,000 FEET UP YOUR
BEHIND!'


I left Andy's office with some written instructions, and a prescription for
a product called 'MoviPrep,' which comes in a box large enough to hold a
microwave oven.  I will discuss MoviPrep in detail later; for now suffice
it to say that we must never allow it to fall into the hands of America 's
enemies..


I spent the next several days productively sitting around being nervous.


Then, on the day before my colonoscopy, I began my preparation.  In
accordance with my instructions, I didn't eat any solid food that day; all
I had was chicken broth, which is basically water, only with less flavor.


Then, in the evening, I took the MoviPrep.  You mix two packets of powder
together in a one-liter plastic jug, then you fill it with lukewarm water.
(For those unfamiliar with the metric system, a liter is about 32 gallons).
Then you have to drink the whole jug.  This takes about an hour, because
MoviPrep tastes - and here I am being kind - like a mixture of goat spit
and urinal cleanser, with just a hint of lemon.


The instructions for MoviPrep, clearly written by somebody with a great
sense of humor, state that after you drink it, 'a loose, watery bowel
movement may result.'


This is kind of like saying that after you jump off your roof, you may
experience contact with the ground.


MoviPrep is a nuclear laxative. I don't want to be too graphic, here, but,
have you ever seen a space-shuttle launch?  This is pretty much the
MoviPrep experience, with you as the shuttle. There are times when you
wish the commode had a seat belt.  You spend several hours pretty much
confined to the bathroom, spurting violently.  You eliminate everything. 
And then, when you figure you must be totally empty, you have to drink
another liter of
MoviPrep, at which point, as far as I can tell, your bowels travel into the
future and start eliminating food that you have not even eaten yet.


After an action-packed evening, I finally got to sleep.


The next morning my wife drove me to the clinic. I was very nervous.  Not
only was I worried about the procedure, but I had been experiencing
occasional return bouts of MoviPrep spurtage.  I was thinking, 'What if I
spurt on Andy?'  How do you apologize to a friend for something like that?
Flowers would not be enough.


At the clinic I had to sign many forms acknowledging that I understood and
totally agreed with whatever the heck the forms said. Then they led me to
a room full of other colonoscopy people, where I went inside a little
curtained space and took off my clothes and put on one of those hospital
garments designed by sadist perverts, the kind that, when you put it on,
makes you feel even more naked than when you are actually naked..


Then a nurse named Eddie put a little needle in a vein in my left hand.
Ordinarily I would have fainted, but Eddie was very good, and I was already
lying down.  Eddie also told me that some people put vodka in their
MoviPrep..
At first I was ticked off that I hadn't thought of this, but then I
pondered what would happen if you got yourself too tipsy to make it to the
bathroom,
so you were staggering around in full Fire Hose Mode.  You would have no
choice but to burn your house.


When everything was ready, Eddie wheeled me into the procedure room, where
Andy was waiting with a nurse and an anesthesiologist.  I did not see the
17,000-foot tube, but I knew Andy had it hidden around there somewhere.  I
was seriously nervous at this point.


Andy had me roll over on my left side, and the anesthesiologist began
hooking something up to the needle in my hand.


There was music playing in the room, and I realized that the song was
'Dancing Queen' by ABBA.  I remarked to Andy that, of all the songs that
could be playing during this particular procedure, 'Dancing Queen' had to
be the least appropriate.


'You want me to turn it up?' said Andy, from somewhere behind me.


'Ha ha,' I said.  And then it was time, the moment I had been dreading for
more than a decade.  If you are squeamish, prepare yourself, because I am
going to tell you, in explicit detail, exactly what it was like.


I have no idea.  Really.  I slept through it.  One moment, ABBA was yelling
'Dancing Queen, feel the beat of the tambourine,' and the next moment, I
was back in the other room, waking up in a very mellow mood.


Andy was looking down at me and asking me how I felt.  I felt excellent.  I
felt even more excellent when Andy told me that It was all over, and that
my colon had passed with flying colors. I have never been prouder of an
internal organ.


On the subject of Colonoscopies...
Colonoscopies are no joke, but these comments during the exam were quite
humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments
made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their
colonoscopies:


 1.  Take it easy Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before.


2. 'Find Amelia Earhart yet?'


3. 'Can you hear me NOW?'


4. 'Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?'


5. 'You know, in Arkansas , we're now legally married.'


6. 'Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?'


7. 'You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out...'


8. 'Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!'


9. 'If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!'


10. 'Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity.'


11. 'You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?'


12. 'God, now I know why I am not gay.'


          And the best one of all:


13. 'Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up
there?'


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From Wizbang:

At my recent assault trial, I offered a plea of
                  "Guilty with an explanation." The judge asked me what my
explanation was, so I told my story.

                  "Your Honour," I said, "I had a mammogram appointment,
which I actually kept. I was met with: 'Hi! I'm
Belinda!' This perky clipboard carrier smiled from ear to ear, tilted her
head to one side and crooned, 'All I need you to do is step into this room
right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?'
                  I'm thinking, 'Belinda, try decaf. This ain't rocket
science.'
                  Belinda skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.

                 With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me
(literally) to the left and said, 'Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes
and lean in a tad so we can get everything?' 'Fine', I answered. I was
freezing, bruised,
and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and
neck and finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied
gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4
                  inch pieces of square glass) when we heard, then felt a
zap!

                 Complete darkness and the power went off!
'Oh, maintenance is working..  Bet they hit a snag.' Belinda said, and
headed for the door. 'Excuse me! You're not leaving me in this vice alone
are you?' I shouted. Belinda kept going and said, 'Oh, you fussy
puppy...the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights.
I'll be right back.'


                 Before I could shout 'NOOOO!' she disappeared. And that's
exactly how Bubba and Earl,
maintenance men extraordinaire, found me .... half-naked with part of me
dangling from the Jaws of Life, and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging a polite
'Hi, how's it going' type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my
utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible
'Uh, yes, yes I did thanks.' 'You bet,
take care' Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in
the line at the grocery store.

                 Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish
grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, 'Oh I am sooo
sorry!'  The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly
me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?'

                 And that, Your Honor, is exactly how her head ended up
between the clamps....."

                  The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she
                  said 'Case Dismissed!!'..


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Wizbang's ripper Trivia calander:


Click a date on any calendar, like your birth date, anniversary, etc.
You'll be fascinated!


This is a barrel of fun -

Just click on a date and see all the major events that took place

January
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February
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March
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April
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May
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July
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August
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September
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October
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November
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 Click here 25 Click here 26 Click here 27 Click here 28 Click here 29 Click here 30

December
 Click here 1 Click here 2 Click here 3 Click here 4 Click here 5 Click here 6
 Click here 7 Click here 8 Click here 9 Click here 10 Click here 11 Click here 12
 Click here 13 Click here 14 Click here 15 Click here 16 Click here 17 Click here 18
 Click here 19 Click here 20 Click here 21 Click here 22 Click here 23 Click here 24
 Click here 25 Click here 26 Click here 27 Click here 28 Click here 29 Click here 30
 Click here 31


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From Allnuts: (As usual taking his life in his hands - ED)

Women 101


"And thus, dear students, we have arrived at the formula for understanding
women."
 Click here

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Subject: Fwd: One of the best Cell Phone commercials Ever.
This one has been seen here before, its such a ripper,
you get it again - ED
 Click here
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From: Burnout
Subject: Happy Ending............
 Click here


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The best way to drive a 4x4:
 Click here


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The Melbourne Storm's latest Premiership DVD release:
 Click here

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Subject: Golf, why bother.........
 Click here

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From: Diks
Subject: Here ya go..Obamacare...........
 Click here

Vasectomy UNDER OBAMA-CARE.


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Subject: Great Idea!
 Click here

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From: Kaos_reflex
Subject: two statues

There are two statues in a park; one of a nude man and one of a nude woman.

They had been facing each other across a pathway for a hundred years, when
one day an angel comes down from the sky and, with a single gesture,
brings the two to life.

The angel tells them, 'As a reward for being so patient through a hundred
blazing summers and dismal winters, you have been given life for thirty
minutes to do what you've wished to do the most.'
He looks at her, she looks at him, and they go running behind the
shrubbery.
The angel waits patiently as the bushes rustle and giggling ensues.  

After fifteen minutes, the two return, out of breath and laughing..
The angel tells them, 'Um, you have fifteen minutes left, would you care to
do it again?'

He asks her 'Shall we?' She eagerly replies, 'Oh, yes, let's!  But let's
change positions. This time, I'll hold the pigeon down and you sh*t on its
head.'

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Subject: Don't look away when I'm talking to you
 Click here

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Subject: How to keep squirrels off your deck
 Click here

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From: Sack
Subject: CAP ESTEL TUNNEL

This is on the French Riviera, just outside Monte Carlo.
one of the  best advertisements for condoms ever!!!...  ever!!!
 Click here

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From: Stumpy Steve
Subject: The USAF's new, top secret Air Force One

Air Force General:  "Mr. President, we've just invented an invisibility
cloak for Air Force One."

Obama:  "No sh*t?"

General:  "That's right, sir. Will you be going along on its maiden
flight?"

Obama:  "Wouldn't miss it for the world."

General:  "Have a good trip, sir..."
 Click here

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Subject: Two short video clips for you to enjoy.
 Click here Click here

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From: Whizzbang
+++ Subject: Train That Never Stops - At Stations!

This is interesting!


Chinese Concept - The train that never stops at a station:

A brilliant Chinese train innovation - get on & off the bullet train -
without the train stopping.

No time is wasted. The bullet train is moving all the time. If there are 30
stations between Beijing and Guangzhou , stopping and accelerating at each
station will waste both energy and time.

A mere 5 min stop per station (elderly passengers cannot be hurried) will
result in a  total loss of 5 min x 30 stations or 2.5 hours of train
journey time.

How it works (view the movie - in mandarin though!):

1. For those who are boarding the train : The passengers at a station
embarks onto to a connector cabin way before the train even arrives at the
station. When the train arrives, it will not stop at all. It just slows
down to pick up the connector cabin which will move with the train on the
roof of the train.

While the train is still moving away from the station, those passengers
will board the train from the connector cabin mounted on the train's roof.
After fully unloading all its passengers, the cabin connector cabin will be
moved to the back of the train so that the next batch of outgoing
passengers who want to alight at the next station will board the connector
cabin at the rear of the train roof.

2. For those who are getting off: As stated after fully unloading all its
passengers, the cabin connector cabin will be moved to the back of the
train so that the next batch of outgoing passengers who want to alight at
the next station will board the connector cabin at the rear of the train
roof. When the train arrives at the next station, it will simply drop the
whole connector cabin at the station itself and leave it behind at the
station.
The outgoing passengers can take their own time to disembark at the station
while the train had already left. At the same time, the train will pick up
the incoming embarking passengers on another connector cabin in the front
part of the train's roof. So the train will always drop one connector
cabin at the rear of its roof and pick up a new connector cabin in the
front part of the train's roof at each station.
 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
Subject:  Tramp stamp. This is funny!!!
 Click here

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Subject: Rubik's cube freak
 Click here
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Subject: Chinese s*x (XX -ED)
 Click here

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From: anonymous (this time & who may be having a fantasy...- ED)

Subject: The VIDEO that all women were waiting for.....
 Click here

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Subject: NEW FANGLED DEODORANT!

NEW FANGLED DEODORANT!!
I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said, "Remove cap and
push up bottom". I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells
lovely.
 Click here

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Subject: Different Eulogy

I really loved this one.  It will make you laugh, and it will make you cry
-
but it will make you realise how true the sentiments are!
 Click here

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Subject: GREAT PICS

A great photographer took these pictures:
 Click here Click here 

 Click here Click here  

 Click here Click here  

 Click here Click here 

 Click here Click here  

 Click here

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Quote of the Week:

I love deadlines. Especially the whooshing sound they make as they pass by.

Douglas Adams



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