Friday humour - March 12, 2010

 911 CALL THIS IS ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE
FIVE years old
Every dad's Dream Girl
This little girl will make a fine Dispatcher later in her life!
Hope all of our fine dispatchers get to hear this...
Listen till the end


   Click here

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From: Burnout

An old nun who was living in a convent next to a construction site noticed
the coar*e language of the workers and decided to spend some time with
them to correct their ways.

She decided she would take her lunch,
sit with the workers and talk with them.

She put her sandwich in a brown bag and walked over to the spot where the
men were eating.

She walked up to the group and with a big smile said:
"and do you men know Jesus Christ?"
They shook their heads and looked at each other very confused.
One of the workers looked up into the steelworks and yelled out,

"Anybody up there know Jesus Christ?"
One of the steelworkers yelled down
'why'?
The worker yelled back,
"Cos his wife's here with his lunch"

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 From: Burnout.................A Poem About Tomatoes

I know an Abbo whose name is Jim,
I love throwing tomatoes at him,
Tomatoes are soft & don't hurt the skin,
But these f*ckers do, cos they're still in the tin!!

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 From: Burnout
 Baby Boomer Heaven

 Click here

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 From: Stumpy Steve

I was watching a doc*mentary on TV last night, about a tribe in the Amazon
jungle, and was amazed to see that the people of the tribe only ever eat
small pieces of bent wire. Astonishing that they could survive on such an
obvious lack of nutrition; then I remembered that it is, after all, their
staple diet.

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From: Stumpy Steve

Doing a rollcall on the first day back at school at Broadmeadows Primary,
the teacher began calling out the names of the pupils:

 "Mustafa El Ekh Zeri?"         "Here."
"Achmed El Kabul?"              "Here."

"Fatima Al Chadoury? "        " Here."

"Abdul Alu Ohlmi?"              " Here."

Mohammed Ibn Achrha?"    " Here."
"Mi Cha El Mey Er"
Silence in the classroom.

"Mi Cha El Mey Er"

Continued silence as everyone looked around the room.  She repeated, "Is
there any child here called Mi Cha El Mey Er"

A boy arose and said, "Sorry teacher.  I think that's me.  My name is
Michael Meyer."

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 From: Stumpy Steve
I hear that 'Jack and the Beanstalk' has closed early in Bradford - the
giant can't smell any Englishmen...

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 From: Stumpy Steve

The day after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident in the Bay Of
Fundy, Nova Scotia , a man answered his door to find two grim-faced
Mounties. "We are sorry sir, but we have some information about your wife",
said one of the Mounties.

"Tell me! Did you find her!?" the husband shouted.

The Mounties looked at each other. One said, "We have some bad news, some
good news, and some really great news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Fearing the worst, the ashen husband said "Give me the bad news first."

The Mountie said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found
your wife's body in the bay."

"Oh my God!" exclaimed the husband. Swallowing hard, he asked, "What's the
good news?"

The Mountie continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 twenty-five pound
snow crabs and 6 good-size lobsters clinging to her."

Stunned, the husband demanded, "If that's the good news, what's the great
news???"

The Mountie said, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."

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 From: Whizzbang

An American tourist asks an Irish fisherman:
"Why do Scuba Divers always fall backwards off their boats into the water?"
To which the Irishman replies:
"If they fell forwards they'd still be in the fookin' boat."

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 From: Anonymous
Home Inspection needed? (One the Guys will Appreciate)

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

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 From: Anonymous
 Amazing Skyscrapers!
 Click here

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 From: Anonymous
What 20 degrees below zero looks like in Canada

 Click here

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From: Anonymous
Carlsberg beer commercial

 Click here

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From: Biggus
 Bingle in the shower

 Click here

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From: Burnout
 At home with the Talibans.......
 Click here

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 From: Burnout
 Subject: 4X4

 Click here

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 From: Burnout
 Avatar Sequel
 Click here

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From: Muse
 fish story
 Click here

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From: Nottingham Smithie
 Extreme Skydiver

 Click here

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 From: Nottingham Smithie
 Digital Editing !!

 Click here

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From: Stumpy Steve
 Incredible Imaginations
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

When one gets a bit bored with cooking and preparation of grub

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From: The Great Gussius
 Fire trucks have right of way...  always...

 Click here

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+++ From: Whizzbang
The Tunnel . . .a must watch
 Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
 PETER GARRETT IS BACK IN THE BAND

 Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
 Homeless signs

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Whizzbang
  Who says porn stars can't act! [XXXXXX]

 Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
 Photos Worth a Million Words...

 Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
  Gate Safety

 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Most of us have to drive through access gates at some point of our driving
careers.We have had numerous incidents with gates swinging in the wind and
hitting vehicles.This guy caught a gate that was probably hidden by the
tree line as he rounded the corner.Share the following pictures as you see
fit with your work groups.
Look at all four pictures to see how lucky this guy really was.

I bet the first thing the driver checked was to see if
Mr. Wiggles and his two neighbors were still there.

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 From: Whizzbang
  They really should have stayed in bed

 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
 How To Speak Womanese
 Click here

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[ End friday humour ]

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