Friday humour - November 20, 2009

A former soldier who handed a discarded shotgun in to police faces at least
five years imprisonment for "doing his duty".
Paul Clarke, 27, was found guilty of possessing a firearm at Guildford
Crown
Court on Tuesday after finding the gun and handing it personally to police
officers on March 20 this year.
The jury took 20 minutes to make its conviction, and Mr Clarke now faces a
minimum of five year's imprisonment for handing in the weapon.
In a statement read out in court, Mr Clarke said: "I didn't think for one
moment I would be arrested.
"I thought it was my duty to hand it in and get it off the streets."
The court heard how Mr Clarke was on the balcony of his home in Nailsworth
Crescent, Merstham, when he spotted a black bin liner at the bottom of his
garden.
In his statement, he said: "I took it indoors and inside found a shorn-off
shotgun and two cartridges.
"I didn't know what to do, so the next morning I rang the Chief
Superintendent, Adrian Harper, and asked if I could pop in and see him.
"At the police station, I took the gun out of the bag and placed it on the
table so it was pointing towards the wall."
Mr Clarke was then arrested immediately for possession of a firearm at
Reigate police station, and taken to the cells.
Defending, Lionel Blackman told the jury Mr Clarke's garden backs onto a
public green field, and his garden wall is significantly lower than his
neighbours.
He also showed jurors a leaflet printed by Surrey Police explaining to
citizens what they can do at a police station, which included "reporting
found firearms".
Quizzing officer Garnett, who arrested Mr Clarke, he asked: "Are you aware
of any notice issued by Surrey Police, or any publicity given to, telling
citizens that if they find a firearm the only thing they should do is not
touch it, report it by telephone, and not take it into a police station?"
To which, Mr Garnett replied: "No, I don't believe so."
Prosecuting, Brian Stalk, explained to the jury that possession of a
firearm was a "strict liability" charge therefore Mr Clarke's allegedly
honest intent was irrelevant.
Just by having the gun in his possession he was guilty of the charge, and
has no defence in law against it, he added.
But despite this, Mr Blackman urged members of the jury to consider how
they would respond if they found a gun.
He said: "This is a very small case with a very big principle.
"You could be walking to a railway station on the way to work and find a
firearm in a bin in the park.
"Is it unreasonable to take it to the police station?"
Paul Clarke will be sentenced on December 11.
Judge Christopher Critchlow said: "This is an unusual case, but in law
there is no dispute that Mr Clarke has no defence to this charge.
"The intention of anybody possessing a firearm is irrelevant."

........it is clearly time for us all to emigrate and leave what is left to
the brain dead politicos and the judiciary in league with them, this
country is slipping into a lack of moral fibre, with a combination of
political correctness, and the weakest leadership for centuries. Right!!!
now I have had my gripe for the day on with the
humour..............................


Watch all the way to the end....
This will put a smile on your face.
Not funny. Not dirty. Not silly. Just nice.
DON'T MISS THIS ONE

 Click here

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My favourite for this week - a thought provoking piece for a change sent in
anonymously


I am not a great fan of German achievement. I believe that a
Lexus or a Cadillac is better than a BMW or Mercedes. But I do acknowledge

That Germans have a way with words. They created words that other languages
simply do not have.

Schadenfreude is such a word. In case you are not familiar with it,
it takes 7 English words to define it: "malicious satisfaction in the
misfortunes of others".
The dictionary also explains it with a quote
From the New York Times about historian Peter Gay -- who felt
Schadenfreude as a Jewish child in Nazi-era Berlin , watching the
Germans lose coveted gold medals in the 1936 Olympics; he said that it "can
be one of the great joys of life."

All this is a prelude to inform you that I felt - and greatly enjoyed
Schadenfreude recently. A friend had recently come back from a trip To
Russia. He told us that he saw beautiful flowers at an expensive flower
shop in Moscow and asked where these out-
of-
season flowers had come from "Holland," he was told. "Most of our flowers
come from Holland but the Dutch buy a lot of them from

Israel and resell them throughout Europe . We are lucky to get

them. They are so beautiful"

Another friend spent a week in the French countryside where he

enjoyed a wonderful tasty fruit, apparently some kind of a cross of a peach
and a plum. He asked what it was and was told that it was imported from
Israel, the only place where it was cultivated.

I am sure that at least some of the flowers, fruit and vegetables that
cater to European sophisticates came from the more than 3000
Gaza Greenhouses. They were all built on barren empty land by the
Jews who, until a few years ago - employed over 12,000
Palestinians there.

Since the start of the last Intifada and several terror attacks by the more
demented employees, the number of Arabs working the greenhouses was
drastically reduced, and they were replaced by

Thais, Africans and Filipinos.
During the months of preparation for the Israeli withdrawal there were many
questions on what should be done with the greenhouses.
They were state-of-art agricultural marvels with their own sophisticated
temperature and humidity control systems, they turned out millions of
dollars worth of produce yearly and they were a source of employment for
thousands of people in an area where close to 40% were unemployed.
Should these marvelous structures be destroyed? Moved? Abandoned?
And then a wonderful and heartwarming solution was found.
A small group of wealthy American Jews decided to buy the greenhouses from
Israel and donate them to the Palestinian
Authority. One of the donors was former World Bank president
James
Wolfensohn who put up $500,000 of his own money.
All in all, $14 million was collected, the deal was done and appreciative
Palestinian spokesmen announced that the greenhouses would become the
cornerstone of the future Palestinian economy.

So where is the Schadenfreude, you say? Happy ending for all,
right? Palestinians get the greenhouses, Israelis get $14 million and the
small group of admirable Jews in America get the warm feeling of having
made the world a more tolerant and loving place where
Arabs appreciate Jewish kindness and are less eager to murder Jews, right?

Well, no, not really. Have you heard the old story about a scorpion that
asked a fox to carry him across a river?
The fox refused: "You are a scorpion and you might sting me," he said.
The scorpion scoffed."Don't be ridiculous. Why would I sting you?
We would both drown if I do," he said.
The fox thought this made sense and told him to climb on his back.
Halfway across the river the scorpion stung the fox.
"Why? Why did you do that? We'll both drown," cried the drowning fox.
" I know, my friend, but this is the Middle East ," said the scorpion
before dying.

Just an hour or so after the Jews left Gaza thousands of
Palestinians swarmed into the empty settlements. The
Palestinian police stood and watched the mob demolish the abandoned
synagogues and set them on fire. They also watched with interest as part
of the crowd turned on the greenhouses, breaking windows, taking plates of
glass, wiring, computer and electronic parts,
irrigation pipes and timers.
It didn't take long -- after a few hours or so the greenhouses that it had
taken years to build were just so much junk.

And so I have Schadenfreude. The Palestinians will not export flowers to
Holland or fruit to France . The greenhouses will not be rebuilt. The
Palestinian economy, such as it is, will continue to be mired in
corruption, hatred and violence. They will suffer -
-
Schadenfreude -- but still, they'll never admit that it was their own
fault.

And I also have Schadenfreude towards the naive rich Jews who thought that
the Arab reaction to their gift would be based on

logic and not on inbred hatred.
You silly people, didn't you learn yet that this is the Middle
East where scorpions sting even if this means their own destruction?
You lost $14 million and, you know, I am glad you did.

I only hope that Israel cashed the $14 million check before it was too
late.

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 From: Darwin Jon

Jesus and Moses are playing golf at the Lakes course in Sydney. On about
the fifth hole, a par 4 consisting of a right hand dog leg with a water
hazard at the turn, Jesus tees up and says to Moses " Greg Norman hits
across the lake on this hole, straight onto the green and puts it in for
an eagle every time". Moses suggests that by hitting down the fairway,
second shot onto the green and a good putt you could get a birdie rather
easily. "No" says Jesus,
"If Greg Norman can do it so can I" and promptly hits the ball straight
into the lake. "Could you get that for me please Moses" he asks. Moses
walks to the lake, parts the water and retrieves his ball. Returning to
the tee he once again suggests a different plan of attack. One again Jesus
says that if
Greg can do it so can he and one again finds the water. Moses hits off
straight down the fairway, refuses to retrieve Jesus' ball and they head
off. At the waters edge, Jesus walks onto the lake to retrieve his ball.
Just then two  returning golfers come across Moses waiting at the waters
edge. Looking at Jesus walking across the lake he says to Moses, "Who does
your friend think he is Jesus Christ?" "No" replied Moses, "He thinks he is
Bloody Greg Norman".

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 From: Diks
Would you like to do something different on you next vacation?
Amazing story and photo's from Hawaii.

 Click here

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 From: Indigo Flow

New English speaking Al Jazeera Channel!!

 Click here

Al jazeera - Price is Right!

 Click here

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From: Kaos_reflex - a golden oldie of such charm it is worthy of a repeat
for any newcomers

Stevie Wonder is playing his first gig in Tokyo and the place is absolutely
packed to the rafters. In a bid to break the ice with his new audience, He
asks if anyone would like him to play a request.

A little old Japanese man jumps out of his seat in the first row and shouts
at the top of his voice "Play a Jazz chord! Play a jazz chord!"

Amazed that this guy knows about the jazz influences in Stevie's varied
career, the blind impresario starts to play an E minor scale and then goes
into a difficult jazz melody for about 10 minutes.

When he finishes the whole place goes wild. The little old man jumps up
again and shouts "No, no, play a Jazz chord, play a Jazz chord".

A bit irritated by this, Stevie, being the professional that he is, dives
straight into a jazz improvisation with his band around the B flat minor
chord and really tears the place apart.

The crowd goes wild with this impromptu show of his technical expertise.
The little old man jumps up again. "No, no. Play a Jazz chord, play a jazz
chord".

Well now truly irritated that this little guy doesn't seem to appreciate
his playing ability. Stevie says to him from the stage "OK smart ass. You
get up here and do it!"

The little old man climbs up onto the stage, takes hold of the mike and
starts to sing.....

"A jazz chord to say I ruv you..."


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From: Kevin

18 Shirts You Should NOT Wear To Meet Your Girlfriend's Parents

 Click here

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From: Kevin
 $2M Bugatti Veyron Crashes into Lake
 Click here

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 From: Moose
 for grandparents

A woman in a supermarket is following a grandfather and his badly behaved 3
year-old grandson.

It's obvious to her that he has his hands full with the child screaming for
sweets in the sweet aisle, biscuits in the biscuit aisle; and for fruit,
cereal and soft drinks in the other aisles.

Meanwhile, Gramps is working his way around, saying in a controlled voice,
"Easy, William, we won't be long . . . easy, boy."

Another outburst, and she hears the granddad calmly say, "It's okay,
William, just a couple more minutes and we'll be out of here. Hang in
there, boy."

At the checkout, the little terror is throwing items out of the cart,
and Gramps says again in a controlled voice, "William, William, relax
buddy, don't get upset. We'll be home in five minutes; stay cool,
William."

Very impressed, the woman goes outside where the grandfather is loading his
groceries and the boy into the car.

She said to the elderly gentleman, "It's none of my business, but you were
amazing in there. I don't know how you did it. That whole time, you kept
your composure, and no matter how loud and disruptive he got, you just
calmly kept saying things would be okay. William is very lucky to have you
as his granddad."

"Thanks, lady," said the grandfather, "but I'm William . . ... the little
bastard's name is Lachlan."


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From: Nottingham Smithie
 The latest collection from across the pond.

The liberals are asking us to give Obama time.
We agree and think 25 to life would be appropriate.
**********************

America needs Obamacare like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
**********************

Q: Have you heard about McDonalds new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
**********************

Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser.
**********************

Q: What's the difference between Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners.
**********************

If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean and It
started to sink, who would be saved? .... America!
**********************

Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers.

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 From: Sack - another golden oldie worthy to repeat

PARENT - Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop
JOB DESCRIPTION :
Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often
chaotic environment.

Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills
and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and
weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.

Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites
on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required..
RESPONSIBILITIES :
The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly. Also, must possess the physical
stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three
seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not
someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small
gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of
multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all
ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the
next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap,
plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst..
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end
product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work
throughout the facility.
POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :
None.
Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining,
constantly retraining and updating your skills, so that those in your
charge can ultimately surpass you
PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :
None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.
WAGES AND COMPENSATION :
Get this!   You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that
college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually
enjoy it and only wish you could do more.
BENEFITS :
While no health or dental insurance , no pension, no tuition reimbursement
,
no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth,
unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your
cards right.

Forward this on to all the PARENTS you know, in appreciation for everything
they do on a daily basis, letting them know they are appreciated for the
fabulous job they do...
or forward with love to anyone thinking of applying for the job.

 ** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT  --  EVER!!!


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From: Seasoldier


Let me see if I understand all this...

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS
HARD LABOR.

IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED
INDEFINITELY.

IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.

IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE
JAILED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD
FROM AGAIN.

IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED
A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.

IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO
POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE CANADIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET A JOB, A DRIVERS
LICENSE, SIN CARD, WELFARE, , CREDIT CARDS,
SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE, FREE EDUCATION, FREE HEALTH
CARE, A MP IN OTTAWA AND IN MANY INSTANCES YOU CAN VOTE.

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From: Stumpy Steve

British suicide bombers are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a
dispute over the amount of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife.
Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an
agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of
virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%
next January from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the
increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organisation of Occupational
Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action.
General secretary
Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves
to death in the cause of jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be
treated like this by management is a kick in the teeth."

Mr Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out that
the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce and not
by management. "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual bonus
of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll all be
pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that but not 72 for the people
who do the real work?"

Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands where he currently resides, Al
Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained,

"We sympathise with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a
position to meet their demands. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now
a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice
between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting
wages but
I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow
themselves up." He defended management bonuses by claiming these were
necessary to attract good fanatical clerics.

Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch proposal of a
virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright.

Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide bombers
will down explosives at midday on Monday. Most branches are supporting the
strike. Only the North London branch, which has a different union, is
likely to continue working.


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From: Stumpy Steve

I just applied for planning permission for a new-build house. It was going
to be 100ft tall and 400ft wide with nine turrets at various heights and
windows all over the place. It would have parking for 200 cars and I was
going to paint it snot green. The council refused me Planning Permission.

 So I sent in the application again, ...............
but this time I called it a Mosque...............
Building work starts on Monday.

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From: Whizzbang

  This is the form you will be required by law to fill out if you now sell
your house go to the site and be amazed we pay taxes for this.

 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
Sure beats Solitaire

You could play this all day { Click below to start }
Match the Click here Snatch


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 From: Anonymous
 Camera Guy Needs Clean Shorts
 Click here

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From: Anonymous
 Octoberfest

 Click here

THE CRAZY BAVARIANS ARE AT IT AGAIN IN MUNICH!

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From: Anonymous
 C130 COLLIDES WITH BALD EAGLE

 Click here Click here Click here

This U.S. Air Force C-130 was flying near Tacoma, Washington - when it
collided with an bald eagle.
The pilot got splattered with blood.
The C-130 and eagle landed together, but only the C-130 was still alive.
The plane commander requested a change of pants!-The last pic
probablyshould be captioned-" you gotta besh*tin' me"!!!

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From: Anonymous
 Love Story

Be sure to read to the bottom line . . .
A Love Story
Ah yes, the power of love. This guy (Alvaro Alfonso de Miranda Neto) simply
referred to as "Doda" was married to
This woman.
Here she is again.
And again.
Her name is Cibele Dorsa. She is a Brazilian swimsuit and Playboy model.
He divorced her because he "fell in love" with
This woman.
Those two are very happily married right now.
Some people argue that love is blind. This story clearly shows it. It
proves that men are capable of real love. Truly seeing the inner beauty
inside a person, not basing their decisions solely on looks.
Oh, By the way. The new girl is Athina Onassis. She's worth 2 Billion
dollars.

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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 From: Biggus

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here


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From: Cartographer Chris
 MICRO CHIP IMPLANT ALLOWS TERRORISTS TO SPEAK TO GOD


THE PATRIOT MICRO CHIP
is intended to be implanted in terrorists.
The implant is specifically designed to be installed in the forehead.
When properly installed, it will allow the one implanted, to speak to God.

The exact size of the implant will be selected by a well-trained and highly
skilled technician.
The implant may or may not be painless.
Side effects, like headaches and nausea, are temporary.
Some bleeding or swelling may occur at the injection site.
Please enjoy the security we provide for you.
It comes in various sizes:

 Click here Click here

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From: Croydon Caz
 For those who are planning Christmas.

 Click here
Look at the house to the right.  You may want to do some similar decorating
this Christmas.

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 From: Stumpy Steve

British suicide bombers are set to begin a three-day strike on Monday in a
dispute over the amount of virgins they are entitled to in the afterlife.
Emergency talks with Al Qaeda management have so far failed to produce an
agreement.

The unrest began last Tuesday when Al Qaeda announced that the number of
virgins a suicide bomber would receive after his death will be cut by 25%
next January from 72 to only 60. The rationale for the cut was the
increase in recent years of the number of suicide bombings and a
subsequent shortage of virgins in the afterlife.

The suicide bombers' union, the British Organisation of Occupational
Martyrs (or B.O.O.M.) responded with a statement that this was
unacceptable to its members and immediately balloted for strike action.
General secretary
Abdullah Amir told the press, "Our members are literally working themselves
to death in the cause of jihad. We don't ask for much in return but to be
treated like this by management is a kick in the teeth."

Mr Amir accepted the limited availability of virgins but pointed out that
the cutbacks were expected to be borne entirely by the workforce and not
by management. "Last Christmas Abu Hamza alone was awarded an annual bonus
of 250,000 virgins," complains Amir. "And you can be sure they'll all be
pretty ones too. How can Al Qaeda afford that but not 72 for the people
who do the real work?"

Speaking from the shed in the West Midlands where he currently resides, Al
Qaeda chief executive Osama bin Laden explained,

"We sympathise with our workers' concerns but Al Qaeda is simply not in a
position to meet their demands. Thanks to Western depravity, there is now
a chronic shortage of virgins in the afterlife. It's a straight choice
between reducing expenditure and laying people off. I don't like cutting
wages but
I'd hate to have to tell 3,000 of my staff that they won't be able to blow
themselves up." He defended management bonuses by claiming these were
necessary to attract good fanatical clerics.

Talks broke down this morning after management's last-ditch proposal of a
virgin-sharing scheme was rejected outright.

Unless some sort of agreement is reached over the weekend, suicide bombers
will down explosives at midday on Monday. Most branches are supporting the
strike. Only the North London branch, which has a different union, is
likely to continue working.


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From: Mitta
dear dr. ruth

 Click here

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 From: Muse
 Pole dancer

 Click here

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 From: Muse
Pals... the best...

 Click here


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From: Muse
Who's smarter?
 Click here

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From: Muse
 Rescue (one for the gals)
 Click here

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From: Muse
Text messaging - are you ther yet?

 Click here

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From: Nottingham Smithie
 Bikini Discount?

 Click here


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 From: Nottingham Smithie

It's really disgusting that some guys wear anything when they go to Tesco.
I was at Tesco and saw this guy wearing these ugly blue pants.
I just had to show you.
Can you believe it?
Must be a Golfer....

 Click here

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 From: Nottingham Smithie
  Some more of the very funny.

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

Love the last one!!!

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 From: Nottingham Smithie

Weird !! "Eyes Test" Look at the picture below very carefully
Have you noticed the girl in the background?
Noticed her bum?
Well look at the picture carefully!
If your answer is YES then go and see an OPTOMETRIST!!!
What you see is the shoulder of the girl taking the picture!!!

 Click here

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 From: Nottingham Smithie
Magic Goggles
 Click here

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 From: Seasoldier
 Click here

Hopelessly Romantic?

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From: Whizzbang

Viewing with an electron microscope
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

15 body shots
Incredible details of 1 to 5nm (nanometer) in size can be detected
1. Red Blood Cells

They look like little cinnamon candies here, but they're actually the most
common type of blood cell in the human body - red blood cells (RBCs).
These biconcave-shaped cells have the tall task of carrying oxygen to our
entire body;�in women�there are about�4 to 5 million RBCs per micro
liter (cubic millimeter)�of blood and about�5 to 6 million in men.
People who live at higher altitudes have even more RBCs because of the low
oxygen levels in their environment.

2. Split End of Human Hair

Regular trimmings to your hair and good conditioner should help to prevent
this unsightly picture of a split end of a human hair.

3. Purkinje Neurons

Of the100 billion neurons in your brain. Purkinje (pronounced purr-kin-jee)
neurons are some of the largest. Among other things, these cells are the
masters of motor coordination in the cerebellar cortex. Toxic exposure
such as alcohol and lithium, autoimmune diseases, genetic mutations
including autism and neurodegenerative diseases can negatively affect
human
Purkinje cells.

4. Hair Cell in the Ear

Here's what it looks like to see a close-up of human hair cell stereo cilia
inside the ear. These detect mechanical movement in response to sound
vibrations.


5. Blood Vessels Emerging from the Optic Nerve

In this image, stained retinal blood vessels are shown to emerge from the
black-colored optic disc. The optic disc is a blind spot because no light
receptor cells are present in this area of the retina where the optic
nerve and retinal blood vessels leave the back of the eye.

6. Tongue with Taste Bud

This colour-enhanced image depicts a taste bud on the tongue. The human
tongue has about10,000 taste buds that are involved with detecting salty,
sour, bitter, sweet and savory taste perceptions. Thai people have very
few -- most killed by eating spicy food.

7. Tooth Plaque

Brush your teeth often because this is what the surface of a tooth with a
form of corn-on-the-cob plaque looks like.


8. Blood Clot

Remember that picture of the nice, uniform shapes of red blood cells you
just looked at? Well, here's what it looks like when those same cells get
caught up in the sticky web of a blood clot. The cell in the middle is a
white blood cell.

9. Alveoli in the Lung

This is what a colour-enhanced image of the inner surface of your lung
looks like. The hollow cavities are alveoli; this is where gas exchange
occurs with the blood.

10. Lung Cancer Cells

This image of warped lung cancer cells is in stark contrast to the healthy
lung in the previous picture.

11. Villi of Small Intestine

Villi in the small intestine increase the surface area of the gut, which
helps in the absorption of food. Look closely and you will see some food
stuck in one of the crevices.

12. Human Egg with Coronal Cells

This image is of a purple, colour-enhanced human egg sitting on a pin. The
egg is coated with the zona pellicuda, a glycoprotein that protects the
egg but also helps to trap and bind sperm. Two coronal cells are attached
to the zona pellicuda.

13. Sperm on the Surface of a Human Egg

Here's a close-up of a number of sperm trying to fertilize an egg.

14. Human Embryo and Sperm

It looks like the world at war, but it is actually five days after the
fertilisation of an egg, with some remaining sperm cells still sticking
around. This fluorescent image was captured using a confocal microscope.
The embryo and sperm cell nuclei are stained purple while sperm tails are
green.
The blue areas are gap junctions, which form connections between the cells.


15.Colored Image of a 6 day old Human Embryo Implanting itself onto the
wall of the womb

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 From: Whizzbang
 New camouflage Pattern X

 Click here

These two drove right through camp didn't see them at all, must have been
cooking.
Good luck all hunters.


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 From: Whizzbang
 PTTEP Rig after the fire

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here


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From: Whizzbang
  EXTREME BODY PIERCING

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
 Fine at the top?

 Click here


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 From: Whizzbang
Subject: Track Inspector

 Click here Click here Click here

Track Inspector
QRNational Coal

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 From: Whizzbang
  Best Man Speech

 Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
xxx HER PARENTS MUST BE PROUD

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
A fine production, with lovely music.  Sure to give you the best buzz of
today...

 Click here


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From: Whizzbang
 ADORABLE S U P E R B

 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
 The Melbourne Cup - Shocking

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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 From: Zalaga
 Miners Trapped Underground - amazing pic.

 Click here


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 From: Zalaga
 Virgin Atlantic

 Click here

 From: Zalaga
This is called COURAGE!!!

 Click here


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BANKSTOWN HIGH SCHOOL
MATHEMATICS EXAM

NAME...............
GANG............................................

Time allowed 1 hour:


1. If Mohamed lowers his WRX 2 inches front and back and puts on stolen
18-inch Zepter wheels, how many inches has he originally lost from the
stock suspension?


2. If Con needs 3 razors a day to stay clean shaved, how many razors will
he need before he goes to the gym at 8.00pm?


3. If Mustapha runs 10 km from the Police in Lakemba to Punchbowl, then
steals a car and drives another 5 km to Bankstown , how many kilometres
has he travelled if he ends up hiding in Wiley Park ?


4. Omar has 2 ounces of cocaine. He sells an '8 ball' to Hamil for $320.00
and 2 grams to Akhmed for $85.00 per gram. What is the street value of the
balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it.?


5. If Ahmed receives $200.00 per week disability allowance from Centrelink,
also works for his brother as a builder and receives a further $400.00 per
week, and then pays $10.00 per week for each of his 11 children for
school,
how much money does he have left to buy a smashed Tarago from the auctions?


6. If the average spray can covers 22 square metres and the average letter
is 8 square centimetres, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans
of paint?


7. If Soula needs 25 mls of wax per day to get rid of her facial hair, and
Soula is only 19 years old, how many mls will her mother need if she is 47?


8. Mohamed has an AK-47 with 2 x 30 round clips. If he misses 6 out of 10
shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by
shootings can he attend before he has to reload?


9. If Jim changes the oil in his Fish & Chips shop deep fryer every 18
months and this costs him $400.00, how often should he change the oil if
he wants to spend only $180.00 per annum on new oil?


10.. If Abdo runs a Donor Kebab shop and works as a Taxi driver on weekends
and earns $1,200.00 per week, how much does Centrelink give him for his job
search allowance?


11. If Bankstown's ethnic community is increasing at a rate of 3.5% per
month, the overall population increasing at 2.1% per month, at what rate
are the Skippies leaving?


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[ End friday humour ]

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