Friday humour - September 25, 2009

Contributions were a bit thin on the ground this week, compounded by a
great number of duplicates, but thank you all for whatever you managed to
send,
there are seasonal fluctuations and holidays sometimes so it will not
always be this way........anyway on with the humour
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A man boarded a  plane with 6 kids.

After they got settled in their seats a woman sitting across the aisle from
him leaned over to him and asked, "Are all of those kids yours?"

He replied,  "No.  I work for a condom company.  These are customer
complaints."

Wish I could think so quickly.

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"Anyone with needs to be prayed over, come forward, to the front at the
altar," the Preacher says:

Leroy gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Leroy, what
do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing."

The preacher puts one finger in Leroy's ear, and he places the other hand
on top of Leroy's head and prays and prays and prays, he prays a blue
streak for Leroy.

After a few minutes, the Preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks,
"Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy says, "I don't know, Reverend, it ain't til next Wednesday!"

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Check out Video wheels up landing

 Click here


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 From: Biggus
All Australian selection 2009
Caution - sub titles are a bit "flowery". But very amusing for avid
football followers.

  target=_blank>Click here

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From: Kaos_reflex
 Good on ya Johnny Howard:
 Click here

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From: Moose
the squad
 Click here

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 From: Muse
Oldest Showgirl-Unbelievable! - 85 years young!
 Click here


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 From: Whizzbang
 Booze cheapest in town price finder

This is worth keeping
Type the beer you want, then fill in the suburb when that screens appears,
and hey presto !
The cheapest price and the location of it arrives for your pleasure
Someone has finally put a computer to good use!!

Type in what beer ( or spirit ) you want , next screen is your postcode and
it then tells you the cheapest place to buy it.

                     Click here


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 From: Allnutts
 Sultan of Brunei
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

For those of you who want to know what "Wallowing in wealth"  really means,
read and see these pictures.
I hope you don't throw up!

3 children are born every second in this world;
10 mobile phones sold on the international level;
auto manufacturers produce a car every 4.5 seconds on average;
and on the level of the human mind = brain cells send 200 directives each
second to perform the various functions of physical and mental health.
The world spends 37 million euros for arms on the international level in
one second


And the Sultan of Brunei's wealth increases by 90 euros every second!

No envy please!

This means around 5400 euros per minute, 324000 euros each hour, 7776000
euros a day

Implies about 54432000 euros a week (that's 54 million and 432000 thousand
euros)

Brunei's Sultan Hassanal Bolkiah ... President of the richest country in
the world
Popular, lavish, ... uses gold in everything
Was born literally eating with spoons made of gold
Clothes worn embroidered with gold and silver

These are some pictures of his palace ...
The largest and most luxurious palace in the world...
Consists of 1788 rooms with some furnished in gold and diamond-encrusted
257 bath inlaid with gold and silver and a garage to accommodate 110 cars
The palace has 650 suites ... each furnished at not less than 150,000
thousand euros
This requires the visitor to spend 24 hours just to inspect each room for
30 seconds

The Sultan of Brunei's plane
Most luxurious aircraft in the world, inlaid with gold
The Sultan has also a Boeing 747 worth a hundred million dollars,
and then re-designed as a home at a cost of more than one hundred and
twenty million dollars.
Featured add-ons such as a whirlpool bath of pure gold
He also has six small aircraft and two helicopters.

Wikipediasays he has
531 Mercedes-Benzes 367 Ferraris 362 Bentleys 185 BMWs 177 Jaguars 160
Porsches 130 Rolls-Royces
And 20 Lamborghinis

Bringing the total number of his cars to 1,932

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From: Allnutts
Why Parents Get Stressed!!

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here


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From: Allnutts
 Wooden horses

 Click here

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From: Anonymous
 Machu Picchu of Peru........

 Click here


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Paddy was  walking along the street during his once-in-a-lifetime visit to
New  York  when he rounds a corner and there's a high rise building on
fire.

Paddy, ever the kind-hearted and resourceful Irishman,  runs up to the
building to see if he can help--and notices people trapped 5  stories up.

Paddy yells to the people: 'I'm Patrick Sean  Michael Fitzpatrick, the
Irish Rugby Union fullback! If you jump, I'll  catch you!"

One lady, in desperation, jumps and sure enough  Paddy catches her.

Then a man sees that Paddy catches the woman  and jumps. Sure enough, Paddy
catches him as well.

Then a black  man jumps out and crashes to the sidewalk. Paddy didn't even
attempt to  catch him.

Paddy looks up and yells, "Don't be throwin' the  fookin' burnt  ones!"

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 From: Burnout
Miss The Way They Sold Cars In The Old Days?

 Click here


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From: Burnout
 Oops!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Burnout
 I don't care how good the food is, I ain't eating there!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

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From: Diks
When you stop to think.....Awesome!

 Click here

If you haven't seen this before please take time to watch ...this is
exactly how we should all look at life.

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From: Moose
 Kanye West
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Moose
 Check this out a classic power point presentation

 Click here


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 From: Moose
 Which one is your favourite sunset?
 Click here Click here Click here

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 From: Moose
 Indian Teacher explaining the word F***!

 Click here

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From: Muse
whenautoswereart_-fab
 Click here

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From: Muse
 How to avoid H1N1 Virus spreading!!

 Click here

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 From: Muse
 The Latest Tech
 Click here

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 From: Nottingham Smithie
Reasons why you should carry a camera...

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

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From: Stumpy Steve
 What mates are for
 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
New Oyster Buffet XXXXXXX
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here


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From: Whizzbang
 Invisible Man...

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Liu Bolin...

                  This guy paints himself, no kidding, no trick photography
he just paints himself...

                  I'll bet he was great at hide and seek when he was a
kid...

                  Check out the last two pics...they are especially
amazing.

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 From: Whizzbang
 Beer Girls of the World
 Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
Friends
 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
Gun show - west point Kentucky USA

 Click here

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From: Whizzbang
 How to stop woman from smoking

 Click here Click here Click here Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
 Karma

 Click here

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 From: Whizzbang
 security

 Click here

With all the theft occurring with airline luggage and motel  housekeeping
going through your luggage while you are out of your room...
this  product will deter those, good for nothing, thieves. Just place your
valuables  inside the 'BRIEF SAFE' and travel knowing your valuables are
secure  and safe...

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From: Whizzbang
 Carpentry Engineering

 Click here Click here

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From: Whizzbang
 Corn XXX
 Click here

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 More New Motivationals

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

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there I fixed it
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here


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redneck s*x


      A week after their marriage, the redneck newlyweds, Bubba and Sweet
Pea, paid a visit to their doctor.
      "You ain't gonna believe this, Doc," said Bubba. "My thingy's turnin'
blue."
       "That's pretty unusual," said the doctor.  "Let me examine you."
      The doctor takes a look. Sure enough, Bubba's "thingy" really was
blue.
        The doctor turns to the wife, "Are you using the diaphragm that I
prescribed for you?"
      "Yep, shore am," she replied brightly.
      "And what kind of jelly are you using with it?"
      "Grape", she said.

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[ End friday humour ]

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