Friday humour - January 25, 2008

Gidday from Deano,

Now that we are all back from our well deserved Christmas and New Year
break the contributions have ramped up to what appears to be an all time
record.  There is lots of great stuff flowing into FH head office – please
keep it coming.

My favourite this week was sent in by Croydon Caz (a regular and prolific
contributor), this is an oldie but a goodie:
Record high jump from a kneeling position
A new world's record in the high jump from a kneeling position was set last
week at a beach in southern France .This picture was taken just two seconds
before the jump took place!
 Click here


First up, the written items have been sent in this week by Anonymous,
Geoff, Cartographer Chris, Whizzbang, Diks, Nottingham Smithie, Allnutts,
Digi Maria, Zalaga, Digi Steve, Elle and Moose,


Senior Dating
 Click here
SENIOR DATING
Dorothy and Edna, two "senior" widows, are talking.
Dorothy: "That nice George Johnson asked me out for a date. I know you went
out with him last week, and I wanted to talk with you about him before I
give him my answer."
Edna: "Well, I'll tell you.  He shows up at my apartment punctually at 7
P.M., dressed like such a gentleman in a fine suit, and he brings me such
beautiful flowers! Then he takes me downstairs, and what's there but a
luxury car... a limousine, uniformed chauffeur and all. Then he takes me
out for dinner... a marvelous dinner... lobster, champagne, dessert, and
after-dinner drinks. Then we go see a show. Let me tell you, Dorothy, I
enjoyed it so much I could have just died from pleasure! So then we are
coming back to my apartment and he turns into an ANIMAL. Completely crazy,
he tears off my expensive new dress and has his way with me two times!"
Dorothy: "Goodness gracious!... so you are telling me I shouldn't go out
with him?"
Edna:  "No, no, no... I'm just saying, wear an old dress."

 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


 Click here
MEDIA RELEASE
From the International Cricket Council
For immediate release (especially in India)
Malcolm Speed has this morning announced several changes to the playing
conditions for the forthcoming 3rd test in Perth between Australia and
India. These changes include:
* India must win.
* The umpires shall be nominated by the Indian team. It will be acceptable
if reserve Indian players rotate as umpires.
* During the game all appeals shall be referred to the Indian management
team and the Indian media contingent prior to any decision being made.
(This includes where an Indian player may appear to the naked eye that
they have been bowled.)
* When the Indian team is batting the boundary rope shall be moved inwards
20 metres.
* Australian bowlers shall bowl under arm.
* India must win.
* Any time Ricky Ponting is on the field he shall be restrained in a full
length strait jacket and muzzled.
* Any Australian spin bowler must advise the batsman in advance what type
of delivery is going to be bowled.
* At any time Andrew Symonds is on the field he must wear a gorilla suit
and accept any sledging in the light hearted manner that this is intended.
* India must win.
* Harbhajan Singh will be cleared on appeal and be nominated for a Nobel
Peace Prize.
* Indian batsman may be permitted to use larger bats.
* Australian batsmen may use a bat every fifth over.
* Australian fieldsman should praise every batting attempt by the Indians
by saying "Good shot chaps." Apart from this Australian players are not
permitted to speak.
* During the lunch and tea break both teams shall get together and have a
cup of tea.
* India must win.
The ICC and the BCCI hope that all Australians will understand these minor
changes are intended in the best interest of the game.
The ICC would also like to announce that Steve Bucknor has been appointed
as the ICC's new cricketing ambassador to Kazakhstan. The ICC wishes Steve
all the best in this important, newly created role.

 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Smart thinking.
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had
just gotten married -- for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her
questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at
80, and then about her new husband's occupation.
"He's a funeral director," she answered.
"Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind
telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for
a living.
She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years.
After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly,
explaining that she'd first married a banker when she was in her early
20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, later on a preacher when
in her 60's, and now in her 80's, a funeral director.
The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had
married four men with such diverse careers. She smiled and explained, "I
married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four
to go !!!!


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Now This IS Drunk
A man goes to a party and has too much to drink. His friends plead with him
to let them take him home. He says NO -- he only lives a mile away.
About five blocks from party, the police pull him over. They check his
license and ask him to get out of the car and walk the line. Just as he
starts, the police radio blares out a notice of a robbery taking place in
a house around the block. The police tell the party animal to stay put,
they'll be right back and they run around the corner to the robbery.
The guy waits and waits and finally decides to drive home. When he gets
there, he tells his wife he is going to bed, and to tell anyone who might
come looking for him that he has the flu and has been in bed all day.
A few hours later the police knock on the door. The police ask if Mr. Smith
is there and the wife says yes. The police ask to see him and the wife
replies that he is in bed with the flu and has been so all day. The police
still have his driver's license. The police ask to see his car and the wife
asks why. The police insist on seeing his car, so the wife takes the police
to the garage.
The wife opens the garage door; and there, sitting in the garage, is the
police car, with all its lights still flashing.
True story, told by the driver at his first AA meeting.


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


From the International Cricket Council
For immediate release (especially in India)
The ICC have announced several changes to the playing conditions for the
forthcoming 3rd test in Perth between Australia and India. These changes
include:
* India must win.
* The umpires shall be nominated by the Indian team. It will be acceptable
if reserve Indian players rotate as umpires.
* During the game all appeals shall be referred to the Indian management
team and the Indian media contingent prior to any decision being made.
(This includes where an Indian player may appear to the naked eye that they
have been bowled.)
* When the Indian team is batting the boundary rope shall be moved inwards
20 metres.
* Australian bowlers shall bowl under arm.
* India must win.
* Any time Ricky Ponting is on the field he shall be restrained in a full
length strait jacket and muzzled.
* Any Australian spin bowler must advise the batsman in advance what type
of delivery is going to be bowled.
* At any time Andrew Symons is on the field he must where a gorilla suit
and accept any sledging in the light hearted manner that this is intended.
* India must win.
* Harbhajan Singh will be cleared on appeal and be nominated for a Nobel
Peace Prize.
* Indian batsman may be permitted to use larger bats.
* Australian batsmen may use a bat every fifth over.
* Australian fieldsman should praise every batting attempt by the Indians
by saying "Good shot chaps." Apart from this Australian players are not
permitted to speak.
* During the lunch and tea break both teams shall get together and have a
cup of tea.
* India must win.
The ICC and the BCCI hope that all Australians will understand these minor
changes are intended in the best interest of the game.
The ICC would also like to announce that Steve Bucknor has been appointed
as the ICC's new cricketing ambassador to Kazikstan. The ICC wishes Steve
all the best in this important, newly created role.

RIP International Cricket


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Interpretations
Eight  Words with two Meanings
1. THINGY (thing-ee) n.
Female.... Any part under a car's hood.
Male.....The strap fastener on a woman's bra.

2. VULNERABLE (vul-ne-ra-bel) adj.
Female.... Fully opening up one's self emotionally to  another.
Male....Playing cricket without a box.

3. COMMUNICATION (ko-myoo-ni-kay-shon) n.
Female...The open sharing of thoughts and feelings with one's  partner.
Male...Leaving a note before taking off on a fishing trip with the boys.

4. COMMITMENT (ko-mit-ment) n.
Female.... A desire to get married and raise a family.
Male......Trying not to hit on other women while out with this  one.

5. ENTERTAINMENT (en-ter-tayn-ment) n.
Female.... A good movie, concert, play or book.
Male......Anything that can be done while drinking  beer.

6. FLATULENCE (flach-u-lens) n.
Female.... An embarrassing by product of indigestion.
Male......A source of entertainment, self-expression, male  bonding.

7 MAKING LOVE (may-king luv) n.
Female.... The greatest expression of intimacy a couple can achieve.
Male. .Call it whatever you want, just as long as we do it.

8. REMOTE CONTROL (ri-moht kon-trohl) n.
Female.... A device for changing from one TV channel to another.
Male...A device for scanning through all 375 channels every 5 minutes.


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Ya gotta love the music industry!
Check  www.unhappybirthday.com


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Old timers golf
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25
years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast.
"That's it," he tells his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has got so
bad that once I'd hit the ball I couldn't see where it went."
His wife sympathizes and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says,
"Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try."
"That's no good" sighs Arthur. "Your brother's a hundred and three. He
can't help."
"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is damn
near perfect."
So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his
brother-in-law.
He tees up, takes an almighty swing and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law. "Did you see the ball, Herman?"
"Of course I did!" says Herman
"Where did it go?" says Arthur.
"I can't remember."


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


I Hate my Job! - PRICELESS !
When you have a "I Hate My Job" day, try this: On your way home from work,
stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a
rectal thermometer made by Johnson & Johnson Be very sure you get this
brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and
disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed. Change into very
comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and
remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so
that it will not become chipped or broken. Now the fun part begins. Take
out the literature from the box and read it carefully. You will notice
that in small print there is a statement: "Every Rectal Thermometer made
by Johnson & Johnson is personally tested and then sanitized ". Now, close
your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in
the thermometer quality control department at Johnson & Johnson." HAVE A
NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS
MORE OF A PAIN IN THE ASS THAN YOURS!


  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


GRANDMAS DON'T KNOW EVERYTHING !!!!!
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been
playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the
house and asked her, 'Grandma, what's that called when two people sleep in
the same room & one is on top of the other ?
She was a little taken aback, but she decided to just to tell him the truth
'It's called s*xual intercourse, darling.'
Little Tony just said, 'Oh, OK,' and went back outside to play with the
other kids.
A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, 'Grandma, it isn't
called s*xual intercourse. It's called Bunk Beds.
And Jimmy's Mom wants to talk to you.'


  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Sun burn
A guy fell asleep on the beach for several hours and got very severe
sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was
promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his
skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in, the doctor
prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a
sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, 'What good will Viagra do for
him, Doctor'?
The doctor replied, 'It won't do anything for his condition, but it'll keep
the sheets off his legs'


  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Don't blame me!
A bloke on holidays from the bush walked into a Sydney curio/antique shop.
After looking around for a while, he noticed a very life-like bronze
statue of a rat. It had no price tag, but it was so striking that he
decided to buy it anyway.
He took it to the owner and said: "How much is this bronze rat?"
The owner replied: "It's $12 for the rat, and $100 for the story."
The bloke gave the owner his $12 and said: "I'll just take the rat, You can
keep the story."
As he walked off down the street, he noticed that a few real rats had
crawled out of the sewers and begun following him. This was a little
disconcerting, so he started to walk a little faster, but within a couple
of blocks the swarm of rats had grown to hundreds, and they were all
squealing and screeching in a very menacing  way.
He increased his speed & ran on towards Watson Bay beach, and as he ran, he
looked behind him and saw the rats now numbered in their MILLIONS, and they
were running faster & faster.
By now very concerned. He ran down to  the pier and threw the bronze Rat
far out into the water. Amazingly, the millions of real rats jumped into
the water after it and were all drowned.
The man walked back to relate all this to the shop owner, who said :  "Ah,
you've come back for the story then?"
"No," said the bloke,
"I came back to see if you've got a bronze Muslim, Fundamentalist Cleric, a
couple of Asians, a homos*xual, a Collingwood football supporter and
anything Aboriginal.


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


THE WEDDING TEST
I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for
over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little
thing bothering me...It was her beautiful younger sister. My prospective
sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally
was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me, and I
always got more than a nice view. It had to be deliberate. because she
never did it when she was near anyone else. One day her "little" sister
called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was
alone when I arrived, and she whispered to me that she had feelings and
desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me
just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. Well,
I was in total shock, and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going
upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want one last wild fling, just come up
and get me." I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the
stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned opened the door, and
headed straight towards my car.  Lo and behold, my entire future family
was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very
happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better
man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is: Always keep your condoms in your car.


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


How to avoid Telstra's Latest Rip Off
For anyone contemplating using the Sensis directory service number, 1234,
DON'T!
Sensis, as you may or may not know, is a subsidiary of Telstra.
The 1234 number is replacing the Telstra 12456 directory assistance number,
but this time with outrageous costs attached 40c to call the number, then
4c A SECOND!
By law, Telstra have to provide a FREE directory assistance number, because
they are still majority owned by the government. They choose however not to
pass this number on to the public.
What's the free number? 1223
Thumbs down to Telstra for finding a way to 'charge', for a service that is
supposed to be provided for free.


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Who put the dog out?? CLASSIC!!!!!
A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled up,
but just needed to put the dog out when the taxi arrives. However as the
couple walked out of the house, the dog shoots back in the house. They
don't want the dog shut in the house, so the wife goes out to the taxi
while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the
taxi driver: "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long"
he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with
a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket
to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her ass downstairs
and tossed her in the back yard! She better not sh*t in the vegetable
garden again!"
The silence in the cab was deafening.


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Teeth between their legs?
Have you ever heard the one about the little boy who grew up thinking women
had teeth between their legs?
When he was young his mother told him women have teeth between their legs
so he would be a good boy and not fool around pre- maturely. So, he grew
up believing it. So, on his 21st b-day he went to a bar to celebrate. He
met this pretty young lady and they hit it off. She ends up taking him
home.
They start getting friendly, kissing and petting and such and she starts to
take off her pants. He immediately stops her and tells her, "don't do that,
my mother told me about you women.
You women have teeth between your legs.". She begins to laugh hysterically
and finally, after she stops laughing, explains to him that his mother has
lied to him.
She then proceeds to start slipping her pants down while saying "trust me,
I'll show you.". He reluctantly agrees to let her show him. Once she gets
her pants off she slowly spreads her legs and says, "see there, I don't
have any teeth between my legs.".
He tells her, "it's no wonder, look what shape your gums are in."


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


The Old Cowboy
A traveling salesman visiting a small town in rural Texas saw a circus
banner reading: "Don't Miss The Amazing Texan". The salesman was curious,
so he bought a ticket. The tent went dark. Suddenly, trumpets blared, the
lights came up, and all eyes turned to the center ring. There was revealed
a table with three walnuts on it. Standing next to the table was an old
retired cowboy. Suddenly, the old cowboy unzipped his jeans, whipped it
out, and smashed all three walnuts with three mighty swings! The crowd
erupted in applause, and the elderly Texan was carried off on their
shoulders.
Ten years later, the salesman visits the same little town, and he sees a
faded sign for the same circus and the same banner warning: "Don't Miss
the Amazing Texan". He can't believe the old guy is still alive, much less
still doing his act. So he buys a ticket.
Again, when the center ring is illuminated, there stand the table and the
old cowboy. But this time, instead of walnuts, three coconuts are placed
on the table. The old guy stands before them, then suddenly unzips his
fly, whips it out, and smashes the coconuts with three amazing swings. The
crowd goes wild!
Flabbergasted, the salesman requests a meeting with him after the show.
"You're incredible," he tells the old Texan, "but I have to know
something. You're older now, so why in the world would you switch from
walnuts to coconuts?"
"Well," says the old cowboy, "my eyes ain't what they used to be."


  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Medicare in a nutshell
The phone rings and the lady of the house answers.
"Hello. Mrs Ward, please."
"Speaking."
"Mrs Ward, this is Doctor Jones at the Medical Testing Laboratory. When
your doctor sent your husband's biopsy to the lab yesterday, a biopsy from
another Mr Ward arrived as well, and we are now uncertain which one is your
husband's. Frankly the results are either bad or terrible."
"What do you mean?" asked Mrs Ward nervously.
"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's, and the other
one tested positive for AIDS.  We can't tell which is your husband's."
"That's dreadful! Can't you do the test again?" asked Mrs Ward.
”Normally we can, but Medicare will only pay for these expensive tests
once."
"Well, what am I supposed to do now?" asked Mrs Ward.
"The people at Medicare recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere
in the middle of town. If he finds his way home, don't sleep with him."


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Italian Girl
A woman goes to Italy to attend a 2-week, company training session. Her
husband drives her to the airport and wishes her to have a good trip.
The wife answers: "Thank you honey, what would you like me to bring for
you?"
The husband laughs and says: "An Italian girl!!!"
The woman kept quiet and left.
Two weeks later he picks her up in the airport and asks: "So, honey, how
was the trip?"
"Very good, thank you." "And, what happened to my present?"
"Which present?" She asked.
"The one I asked for - an Italian girl!!"
"Oh, that" she said. "Well, I did what I could; now we have to wait for
nine months to see if it is a girl!!!"
Moral of the story: Don't tempt women, they are far too intelligent!


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


Bullfrogs
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After 
looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told
the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune.
' Well,' said the clerk, 'I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been
trained to give blowjobs!'
'Blow jobs!' the woman replied.
'It hasn't been proven but we've sold 30 of them this month,' he said.
The woman thought it would be a great gag gift, and what if it's true...no
more bl*w jobs for her! She bought the frog. When she explained froggy's
ability to her husband, he was extremely sceptical and laughed it off! The
woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this less
than riveting act again. In the middle of the night, she was awakened by
the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making hellacious banging
and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her
husband and the frog reading cookbooks.
'What are you two doing at this hour?' she asked.
The husband replied,  'If I can teach this frog to cook.......you're gone.'


 ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


'Keystone robbers' bungled restaurant hold-up, court hears
 Click here

The Victorian County Court has heard a man and his former girlfriend
bungled their attempt to rob a restaurant in Melbourne's east last April.
Thirty-eight-year-old Brooklyn man Benjamin Jorgensen has pleaded guilty to
armed robbery and negligently causing serious injury.
His accomplice, 36-year-old Donna Hayes of Belgrave, has also pleaded
guilty to armed robbery.
The court heard the pair held up the owner of the Cuckoo Restaurant at
Olinda last April Fool's Day, thinking he had $30,000 in a bag, which in
fact only contained bread rolls.
The court heard Jorgensen accidentally shot his accomplice in the buttock
during the handover.
Judge Williams told the court, "We've heard of the Keystone Cops - this is
the keystone robbers."
The pair will be sentenced tomorrow.


____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


And now to the pictures and movie type things sent in by Anonymous, Diks,
Cartographer Chris, Muse, Allnutts, Moose, Whizzbang , Stonefish ,
Burnout, Zalaga, Digi Steve , Duke of Barsinov , and Rudolf from the West


THIS LADY GETS MY VOTE
 Click here

A serious question to ponder on New Year's Day. Overtaking - only when it's
safe to do so...
 Click here

Springvale Cake Shop
Ordering a cake by phone;-  imagine this conversation
Cake-shop employee answers phone..., "Harro, dis Springvale cake-shop, how
can I helping you?"
Customer, "I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week."
Employee, "What you want writing on cake?"
Customer, "...'Best Wishes Suzanne'....underneath that....'We will miss
you'...."
 Click here

Baby boomers...
 Click here

 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Home Made Olympics
 Click here

A No-Nonsense For-Sale Notice
 Click here

Paper plane
 Click here

No party's too big or small...
 Click here Click here Click here

Man Flu
 Click here

Sporting Mistakes
 Click here

Some cat shots
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

International Burnout Competition
 Click here


Brilliant!!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

Selling on Ebay! very funny
 Click here

Look who's in Narre Warren (suburb of Melbourne)
 Click here

GOVERNMENT HEALTH WARNING
DO NOT SWALLOW CHEWING GUM
SEE BELOW
 Click here

Cars... wow
 Click here

Whatever...
 Click here

Irish College of Knowledge Entrance Exams
CAN you solve within one minute or how much time do you need????
 Click here


Now scroll down for the answers...
< < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < < <
 Click here


Truth or dare?
 Click here

30 Minutes
 Click here

AVAILABLE @ HOME DEPOT
 Click here

Red Neck Power Windows
 Click here

A few more of Pig Dog............
 Click here Click here

Why Men Don't Design X-mas Wrap
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

One of the best cartoons ever
 Click here

Beautiful Photography
 Click here

Keep your eye on the ball
 Click here


FAIL
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

Emerald floods
These photos have been taken around Emerald.  The Dragline is at Encham
Mine.
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Ideas for Carnival Costumes
 Click here

Rednecks
 Click here

Safety Awards
 Click here

A WOMAN'S POEM-
He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard... Not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do. I pondered for an
answer I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around and smacked the sh*t out of him... Like his mother
used to do
 Click here

2008 year to come
I may have disturbed you . . .
There have been many times when I may have disturbed you,
Troubled you, pestered you, irritated you, bugged you,
Or gotten on your nerves with all the emails I send out.
So today I just wanted to tell you....
Tough Shit...
I PLAN TO CONTINUE in 2008 !!
 Click here Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___


And that's all we have this week folks.
Keep the contributions coming to contribute~at~bluehaze~dot~com~dot~au
Use the address management~at~bluehaze~dot~com~dot~au to contact the
keepers of this site and the weekly mailout.
Use the address humourlist~at~bluehaze~dot~com~dot~au to subscribe or
unsubscribe to the weekly mailout.

Sender's contributions are acknowledged by name unless anonymity is
requested. Email addresses are not disclosed. Copyright material promptly
removed on request (or attribution supplied, your call).



--------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ End friday humour ]

 Previous (January 18, 2008)  Index Next (February 01, 2008)