Friday humour - January 18, 2008

[from Steve at Bluehaze]

Well now that the festive season is properly over, you have all been
sending in lots of lovely stuff to FH. This week is another bumper
edition. Thanks to all of you.

There are some new spam fighting methods starting to promulgate commonly in
the email world that are based on detecting known spam web addresses
contained within emails. To make FH as low profile as possible in the spam
detection world, we have implemented a
"clever" new filtering system at the incoming contributions reception. Like
all new things it will probably have the odd wrinkle or two to be ironed
out so please be patient if you notice any wrinkly bits.

My favourite this week is the Alarm Clock Problem.
 Click here

This week's collection comes courtesy of Arfermo, Burnout, Castle Hill
Books Mob, Croydon Caz, Digi Maria, Diks, Duke of Barsinov,
Elle, Geoff, KRP from Coffs Harbour, Mitta, Moose, Nottingham Smithie,
Rudolf from the West, The Great Gussius, Whizzbang and
Zalaga.

Enjoy.

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Hillary by the Late Night Comedians ...

"Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen. Hillary Clinton running for
president. Apparently, some Democrats don't like the idea,
while others hate it." - Conan O'Brien

"In a fiery speech this weekend, Hillary Clinton wondered why President
Bush can't find the tallest man in Afghanistan . Probably for the same
reason she couldn't find the fattest intern under the desk." - Jay Leno

"Former President Bill Clinton said that if his wife, Hillary, is elected
president, he will do whatever she wants. You know Bill
Clinton -- when he makes a vow to Hillary, you can take that to the bank."
- Jay Leno

"Did you know Bill and Hillary Clinton were born under the same sign? Know
what sign? 'For Sale .'" - Jay Leno

"A student from the University of Washington has sold his soul on eBay for
$400 He's a law student, so he probably doesn't need it,
but still, that's not very much. Today, Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, at
least I got some furniture and a Senate seat for mine." - Jay
Leno

"Hillary Clinton said today that she wants legislation to allow all
ex-felons to vote. See, this way all the Clinton 's former business
partners can vote for her in 2008." - Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs have come out. So much of her
personality shines through, that in the end, you, too, will want to sleep
with an intern." - Craig Kilborn

In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,' Hillary details what it was
like meeting Bill Clinton, falling in love with him,
getting married, and living a passionate, wonderful life as husband and
wife. Then on page two, the trouble starts." - Jay Leno

"In the book, she says when Bill told her he was having an affair, she said
"I could hardly breathe, I was gulping for air." No, I'm sorry, that's what
Monica said." - David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York , announced that she has
no intentions of ever, ever running for office of the
President of the United States . Her husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly
disappointed. He is crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a
two-impeachment family." - David Letterman

"Last night, Senator Hillary Clinton hosted her first party in her new home
in Washington . People said it was a lot like the parties she used to host
at the White House. In fact, even the furniture was the same." - Jay Leno

"Senator Hillary Clinton is attacking President Bush for breaking his
campaign promise to cut carbon dioxide emissions, saying a promise made, a
promise broken. And then out of habit, she demanded that Bush spend the
night on the couch." - Craig Kilborn

"CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired woman in America .
Women admire her because she's strong and successful. Men admire her
because she allows her husband to cheat and get away with it." - Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great state of New York.
When they swore her in, she used the Clinton family Bible.
. the one with only seven commandments." - David Letterman

Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was to be an Olympic athlete.
But she was not athletic enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut,
but at the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted to go into
medicine, but hospitals made her woozy.
Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's basically saying she
wants to be president because she can't do anything else." --Jay Leno

"Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be running for president in
2008. You know why I think she's running? I think she finally wants to see
what it's like to sleep in the president's bed." - Jay Leno

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The uncertainty of the English language.

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on s*x, marriage, and family
values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did
you? "Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?"

A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did my
intelligence come from?" The father replied. "Well, son, you must have got
it from your mother, 'cause I still have mine."

"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court
Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week." "That's very
fair, your honor," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to
send her a few bucks myself."

A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took
the husband aside, and said , "I don't like the looks of your wife at
all." "Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and
really good with the kids".

An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says,
"Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put
the curse on you". The old man says without hesitation,
"I now pronounce you man and wife."

Two Reason s Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder.
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.

A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll
take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?" The agent replies,
"Just a minute .." "Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.

Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez. "How
was he killed?" asked one detective. "With a golf gun," the other detective
replied.
"A golf gun?! What is a golf gun?"
"I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan."

Moe: "My wife got me to believe in religion."
Joe: "Really?"
Moe: "Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in hell."

A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks
him how he is feeling.
"I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used in
surgery," he answered.
"What did he say," asked the nurse.
"OOPS"

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I
had even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.
"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"
"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one." He's
still in intensive care.

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A six year old goes to the hospital with his grandma to visit his grandpa.

When they get to the hospital, he runs ahead of his grandma and bursts into
his grandpa's room.

 "Grandpa, Grandpa," he says excitedly, "as soon as Grandma comes into the 
room, make a noise like a frog!"

What?" said his grandpa.

"Make a noise like a frog because grandma said that as soon as you croak,
we're going to Disneyland!!!"

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A young man moved into a new apartment of his own and went to the lobby to
put his name on his mailbox.

While there, an attractive young lady came out of the apartment next to the
mailboxes, wearing a robe.

The boy smiled at the young woman and she started a conversation with him.

As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had
nothing else on. The poor kid broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye
contact After a few minutes, she placed her hand on his arm and said,
'Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming.'

He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against
it, allowing her robe to fall off completely.

Now nude, she purred at him, 'What would you say is my best feature?'

Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, 'It's got to be your ears.'

Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, 'My ears? Look at these breasts;
they are full and 100% natural. I work out every day and my butt is firm
and solid. Look at my skin - no blemishes anywhere. How can you think that
the best part of my body is my ears?'

Clearing his throat, he stammered .... 'Outside, when you said you heard
someone coming.' 'That was me.'

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A man and his wife entered a dentist's office.

The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because
I'm late for an appointment with my hairdresser. Just pull the tooth as
quickly as possible."

"You're a brave woman," said the dentist. "Now, show me which tooth it is."

The wife turns to her husband: "Open your mouth and show the dentist which
tooth it is, dear."

---

A man is sitting on a bench in the park reading a newspaper. Suddenly he
throws the paper onto the ground and yells, All politicians are
*ssholes.

A man sitting next to him in a finely pressed suit says, I take offence at
that!

The p*ssed-off guy asks him, Why? Are you a politician?

No," he replies, "I'm an *sshole.

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At a dance in a large retirement home a fellow asked a widow for a dance.
As they waltzed across the floor, she said, "I don't think
I've seen you here before. Are you new here?"

He said, "Well, to tell you the truth, I've been in prison for thirty
years."

"Oh, my goodness! What for?"

"For killing my wife."

"Ohhh! So you're SINGLE!"

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Chinese Proverbs

Virginity like bubble, one pr*ck, all gone.

Man who run in front of car get tired.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Man with hand in pocket feel c*cky all day.

Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok .

Man with one chopstick go hungry.

Man who scratch ass should not bite fingernails.

Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.

Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.

Panties not best thing on earth! But next to best thing on earth.

War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.

Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.

Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.

It take many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it.

Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.

Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.

Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.

Man who fish in other man's well often catch crabs.

Man who fart in church sit in own pew.

Crowded elevator smell different to midget.

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An Irish woman was admitted to hospital after having phone s*x.

Doctors removed 2 Nokias, 3 Motorolas and a Samsung.

No Siemens was found.

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A man went to the Doctor feeling a little ill. The Doctor checked him over
and said, 'Sorry, I have some bad news, you have Yellow 24, a really nasty
virus. It's called Yellow 24 because it turns your blood yellow and you
usually only have 24 hours to live.
There's no known cure so just go home and enjoy your final precious moments
on earth.'

So he trudged home to his wife and broke the news. Distraught, she asked
him to go to the bingo with her that evening, as he'd never been there
with her before.

They arrived at the bingo and with his first card he got four corners and
won £35. Then, with the same card, he got a line and won £320
Then he got the full house and won £1000. Then the National Grid came up
and he won that too getting £380,000 The bingo caller got him up on stage
and said, 'Son, I've been here 20 years and I've never seen anyone win four
corners, a line, the full house and the national grid on the same card. You
must be the luckiest man on Earth!'

'Lucky?' he screamed. 'Lucky? I'll have you know I've got Yellow 24.' 'Fcuk
me,' said the bingo caller. 'You've won the raffle as well....

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Sahara desert

A Nun and a Priest were crossing the Sahara desert on a camel. On the third
day out, the camel suddenly dropped dead without warning.

After dusting themselves off, the Nun and the Priest surveyed their
situation.

After a long period of silence, the Priest spoke. "Well, Sister, this looks
pretty grim."

"I know, Father. In fact, I don't think it likely that we can survive more
than a day or two."

"I agree," says the Father. 'Sister, since we are unlikely to makeit out of
here alive, would you do something for me?"

"Anything, Father."

"I have never seen a woman's breasts and I was wondering if I might see
yours."

"Well, under the circ*mstances I don't see that it would do any harm." The
Nun opened her habit and the Priest enjoyed the sight of her shapely
breasts, commenting frequently on their beauty.

"Sister, would you mind if I touched them?"

She consented and he fondled them for several minutes.

"Father, could I ask something of you?"

"Yes, Sister?"

"I have never seen a man's penis. Could I see yours?"

"I suppose that would be OK," the Priest replied lifting his robe.

"Oh Father, may I touch it?"

The priest consented and after a few minutes of fondling he was sporting a
huge erection.

"Sister, you know that if I insert mypenis in the right place, it can give
life."

"Is that true Father?"

"Yes, it is, Sister."

"Oh, Father, that's wonderful. Stick it in the camel and let's get the hell
out of here!"

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Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.

A very attractive blonde woman from Tasmania arrived and bet
twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, 'I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I play
topless.'

With that, she stripped to the waist; rolled the dice; and yelled, 'Come
on, baby, Tassie Girl needs new clothes!'

As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up-and-down and squealed 'YES! YES!
I WON! I WON!'

She hugged each of the dealers... and then picked up her winnings and her
clothes, and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded. Finally, one of them asked,
'What did she roll?'

The other answered, 'I don't know I thought you were watching.'

Moral ---
Not all Tasmanians are stupid.
Not all blondes are dumb.
But, all men are men.

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Shower Protocol

-- How To Shower Like a Woman --

Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry basket according to
lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more
sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.

Get in the shower.

Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice
stone.

Wash your hair once with cuc*mber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mould spots with Tile cleaner.

Get out of shower.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.

Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

-- How To Shower Like a Man --

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake willy at her making the 'woo-woo'
sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.

Get in the shower.

Wash your face.

Wash your armpits.

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.

Wash your bum, leaving those coar*e bum hair stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair.

Make a Shampoo Mohawk.

Wee.

Rinse off and get out of shower.

Partially dry off.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of bath t he
whole time.

Admire willy size in mirror again.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist.

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake willy at her and make the 'woo-woo'
sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.

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Jeremy Clarkson Quotes (Top Gear)

"I'm sorry, but having a DB9 on the drive and not driving it is a bit like
having Keira Knightley in your bed and sleeping on the couch. If you've
got even half a scrotum it's not going to happen."

"We start tonight with the highlight of my childhood. It's the Ladybird
Book of Motorcars from 1963, and as you would imagine it's full of rubbish
really. Just endless boring grey shapes, until you get to page 40, where
you find the Maserati 3500 GT. Now this for me, when I was little, was
like kind of Jordan and Cameron Diaz. In a bath together. With a Lightning
jet fighter. And lots of jelly."

"[about Porsche Cayman S] There are many things I'd rather be doing than
driving it, including waiting for Bernard Manning to come off stage in a
sweaty nightclub, and then licking his back clean"

... "the last time someone was as wrong as you, was when a politician
stepped off an aeroplane in 1939 waving a piece of paper in the air saying
there will be no war with Germany"

"America: 250 million w@nkers living in a country with no word for w@nker"

On the Alfa Romeo Brera... "I only have to imagine this in black, with tan
leather and I'm nursing a semi!"

Illustrating the lack of power of a Boxster - 'It couldn't pull a greased
stick out of a pig's bottom'

On the Vauxhall Vectra VXR: "there is a word to describe this car: it
begins with "s" and ends with "t" and its not "soot".
Hammond:"So its fairly terrible then?"
Clarkson:"Oh no...losing your leg is fairly terrible: this is another
league of badness!"

"Some say, that he used to throw microwave ovens at homeless people - and
that he long before anyone else realised that jade goody is a racist pig
faced waste of blood and organs ......... all we know, is that he's called
the Stig!"

"the Suzuki Wagon R should be avoided like unprotected s*x with an
Ethiopian transvestite"

"Speed has never killed anyone, suddenly becoming stationary ... That's
what gets you."

'The air conditioning in Lambos used to be an asthmatic sitting in the
dashboard blowing at you through a straw'

"Koenigsegg are saying that the CCX is more comfortable. More comfortable
than what... being stabbed?"

"The only person to ever look good in the back of a 4-seater convertable
was Adolf Hitler"

(Fed up during the caravaning trip) "You aren't allowed to have a party,
you aren't allowed to have music, you aren't allowed to play ball games,
you aren't allowed to have a camp fire, you have to park within two feet
of a post, you have to keep quiet, you have to be in bed by eleven. This
is not a holiday, it's a concentration camp!"

"This is the Renault Espace, probably the best of the people carriers. Not
that that's much to shout about. That's like saying "Ooh good I've got
syphilis, the BEST of the s*xually transmitted diseases.""

(mercedes CLs55) "Braking in this car is so brutal, it would be less
painful to actually hit the tree you were trying to miss."

"I don't understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places
quicker than I do?"

Clarksons highway code on cyclists: 'trespassers in the motorcars domain,
they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road,
some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an
obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong'

"I was reading The Mirror the other day and came across a letter from a
reader who wrote, 'I was riding my bike to work when this red Ferrari
pulled up next to me. Out of the window, Jeremy Clarkson shouted 'Get a
car', and drove off.' What I actually said was,
'Get a car you hatchet faced, leaf-eating N**i"

"Britian's nuclear submarines have been deemed unsafe ... probably because
they don't have wheel-chair access"

1) "If we are being honest HIV is a pathetic virus, it can only live in the
air for 6 seconds and it does what ebola does to you in 10 days in 10
years"
2) "Mandela just doesn't deserve his pedestal, I'm mean the blokes a bit
dodgy"
3) On Mandela's claim that Cuba is a good advert for democracy! "Well Mr
Mandela why don't you go and ask one of the 12 year old cuban prostitutes
which way her parents voted"

"Now we get quite a lot of complaints that we don't feature enough
affordable cars on the show ... so we'll kick off tonight with the
cheapest Ferrari of them all!"

On the Lotus Elise: "This car is more fun than the entire french air force
crashing into a firework factory"

"Now as you can see I lost the battle to have two engines on the back
because of three very important reasons. One: weight. This is 600 Lbs and
that's the same as having a whole American sitting on the tailgate ..."

"I would still buy the DB9 over this, and save myself the 60,000. The
problem with this car is its gearbox, its just ..."
Hammond: "THAT bad is it?"
Clarkson:"Oh no. Robert Mugabe is bad, this is in a whole different
league!"

In the olden days I always got the impression that TVR built a car, put it
on sale, and then found out how it handled. Usually when one of their
customers wrote to the factory complaining about how dead he was.

"the DB9 has rear seats but no mammal yet created, not even when God was on
the LSD trip that gave us the pink flamingo, could fit into them."

Assessing Hammond's crash:
Clarkson: "You can see from the tape that the tyre is starting to come
apart. Now why didnt you spot that?!"
Hammond: "I had a lot on: i was doing 288 mph."
Clarkson: "What do you mean you had a lot on? I can be in the office on the
phone, doing the paperwork, kids are shouting at me,
wife etc, if a lion walks in, I'm going to notice it!"

"Sure it's quiet, for a diesel. But that's like being well-behaved ... for
a murderer."

"I dont often agree with the RSPCA as I believe it is an animals duty to be
on my plate at supper time."

"there are footballers wives that would be happy with this quality of
stitching ... on their face"

"Racing cars which have been converted for road use never really work. It's
like making a hard core adult film, and then editing it so that it can be
shown in British hotels. You'd just end up with a sort of half hour close
up of some bloke's sweaty face. "

"Much more of a hoot to drive than you might imagine. Think of it, if you
like, as a librarian with a G-string under the tweed. I do, and it helps."

"you cant have this car with a diesel, its like saying, i wont go to
stringfellows tonight, ill get my mum to give me a lapdance,
shes a woman!"

Tonight, the new Viper, which is the American equivalent of a sports
car...in the same way, I guess, that George Bush is the equivalent of a
President.

Jeremy said this of the Porsche Cayenne! "Honestly, I have seen more
attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the s*x appeal of a camel
with gingivitis."

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Dumb Blonde

A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as
a "handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighbourhood.
She went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he
had any odd jobs for her to do.

"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my porch," he said, how much
will you charge me?" The blonde quickly responded, "How about 200.00?"

The man agreed and told her that the paint and everything she would need
was in the garage. The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her
husband, "Does she realize that our porch goes all the way around the
house?"

He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it? The wife replied, "You're
right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those dumb blonde jokes we've
been getting by e-mail lately."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the husband asked. "Yes," the blonde replied,
"and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats."

Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the 200.00 and handed it to
her. "And by the way," the Blonde added, "it's not a
Porch, it's a Lexus".

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Politeness

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners,
asked her students the following question: "Michael, if you were on a date
having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have
to go to the bathroom?" Michael said,
"Just a minute I have to go pee." The teacher responded by saying, "That
would be rude and impolite. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"
Sherman said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be
right back." "That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word
bathroom at the dinner table. And you, little Edward, can you use your
brain for once and show us your good manners?" "I would say: Darling, may
I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear
friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner." The teacher
fainted...

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Theft at the Louvre

A thief in Paris planned to steal some paintings from the Louvre...
After careful planning, he got past security, stole the paintings and made
it safely to his van.
However, he was captured only two blocks away when his van ran out of gas.
When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an
obvious error, he replied,
"Monsieur that is the reason I stole the paintings...
I had no Monet
To buy Degas
To make the Van Gogh"

See if you have De Gaulle to send this on to someone else.
I sent it to you because I figured I had nothing Toulouse.

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A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet, and have
Dinner with her parents.
Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that
after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.
The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had s*x before, so he takes a trip to
the pharmacist to get some condoms.
He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the
boy for about an hour.
He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and s*x.
At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to
buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack
because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.
That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his
girlfriend at the door.
"Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"
The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's
parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.
A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down.
10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy.
Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and
Whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."
The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a
Pharmacist."

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

Cool person Test
 Click here

New Years Resolutions
 Click here

It's the new year ... new diet...
 Click here

Next Christmas I am having one of these outside my house!
 Click here

Jesus was an aussie...
 Click here

Really amazing! I don't understand how it works, but really impressive.
 Click here

Bushy babe (Xish)
 Click here

This wont end well ...
 Click here

Rubber Head
 Click here

Karma
 Click here

When Graphic Artists Get Bored
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here


Gotta love the logic ...
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here

The following pictures are of the same place but taken under different
seasons!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

The wheels of life
 Click here Click here

Ads that wont make the Superbowl
 Click here Click here Click here

The Navy Ambush
 Click here

Toot Tone
 Click here

Just coz someone is alive doesn't make them smart ...
 Click here

Cartoons for a giggle or two or three
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Clever Ads
 Click here

Fairy Tales...
 Click here

Okay ... here it is. A test to see if your male brain is still working.
Which one do you think is the blonde?
 Click here
Amazing that I didn't see it.
 Click here
The blonde is the only one with her right leg up.

I had come to the same conclusion
 Click here

I will never ever ever complain about my kids again
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Cheap Indian Cars
 Click here Click here

No Cheap Gas!
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here

Married too long.
 Click here

Redneck fishing.
 Click here

Little Cat...
 Click here

Priceless.
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here

Dogs
 Click here

Just One Question!
 Click here

The wonders of ultrasound.
 Click here

Three Hillbillies
 Click here
Three Hillbillies are sitting on a porch shootin' the breeze.
1st Hillbilly says: 'My wife sure is stupid!...She bought an air
conditioner. ' 2nd Hillbilly says: 'Why is that stupid?'
1st Hillbilly says: 'We ain't got no 'lectricity!'
2nd Hillbilly says: 'That's nothin'! My wife is so stupid, she bought one
of them new fangled warshin' machines!'
1st Hillbilly says: 'Why is that so stupid?'
2nd Hillbilly says: ''Cause we ain't got no plummin'!'
3rd Hillbilly says: 'That ain't nuthin'! My wife is dumber than both yer
wifes put together! I was going through her purse the other day lookin'
fer some change, and I found 6 condoms in thar.'
1st and 2nd Hillbillies say: 'Well, what's so dumb about that?'
3rd Hillbilly says: 'She ain't got no pecker.'

Harley Ad (Xish)
 Click here

Guess who didn't win the New York sand castle competition.
 Click here

Some wrecks are just too hard to explain ...
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here Click here
 Click here Click here Click here Click here

Scottish Pizza Guy
 Click here

New Olympic weightlifting event (Xish).
 Click here

Vegible Humour
 Click here

  ___._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.____._-fh-_.___

      Ah-the-eah the-eah That's All (for this week) Folks!



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[ End friday humour ]

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