Friday humour - July 14, 2006

G'day

Hopefully the FH mailout will resume, albeit in a modest form, next week.

Until things are organised please send submissions to humour@pozzie.net .

And, for the record, here's Tony's first Friday Humour edition that was
ever archived - 9 May 1997. We believe the Great Man actually started FH
in February 1995. God bless ya Tony!

- Davo

===========================================================================

From Tony at Bluehaze:

Hi,

If you get this on Friday - have a nice weekend. If Monday, well ... the
following may help start you off in the right frame of mind (Andrew Urban
forwarded them on to me recently):
---------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some insights from comedian Steven Wright:
------------------------------------------

I stayed up all night playing poker with tarot cards. I got a full house
and four people died.

When I was a kid, we had a quicksand box in the backyard. I was an only
child. . .eventually.

For my birthday I got a humidifier and a dehumidifier. I put them in the
same room and let them fight it out.

I bought some powdered water, but I didn't know what to add.

I have a hobby. I have the world's largest collection of sea shells. I
keep
it scattered on beaches all over the world. Maybe you've seen some of it.

I Xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra Xerox machine.

When I was in high school, I got in trouble with my girlfriend's Dad. He
said
"I want my daughter back by 8:15." I said, "the middle of August? 
Cool!"

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are
furious.

I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around
singing
"Happy Birthday".

It doesn't matter what temperature a room is, it's always room
temperature.

I was hitchhiking the other day, and a hearse stopped. I said, "No thanks
- I'm not going that far."

Ballerinas are always on their toes. Why don't they just get taller
ballerinas?

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[ End Fri humour ] 


 Previous (June 26, 2006)  Index Next (July 21, 2006)