Friday humour - September 19, 1997

     From Tony at Bluehaze:

   Hi,
Can pass on a couple this week.  (The number being forwarded to me seems
to be steadily increasing, which is excellent!)  First one passed on by Davo
(as in the Ian variety):
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There were these 3 blokes, let's call 'em Straub, Herbie and Dave.  They
all worked together in a mocassin factory.  Every day they noticed that
their boss leaves work a little earlier than knockoff time.  So one day
they meet together and say that when the boss leaves early, they'll all
piss off early too.

The boss eventually leaves and so did they.  Herbie, is quick to get home so
he can see the last quarter of his freshly reallocated beloved Tasmanian
Dockers cop a hiding from Geelong, live from Hobart.  Dave was quick to get
home so he can go to the aus.sport.aussie-rules newsgroup and abuse the crap
out of a particular RMIT student, simply 'cause he barracks for Geelong and
poor old Dave supports a less fortunate team.  Straub however, was intending
to go home and burn his Richmond possesions after another crappy season, but
when he gets home he see's his boss in bed with his missus.  Straub, quitely
closes the door, and leaves.

The next day Herb and Dave are talking about how crappy the Dockers are.
That and also about leaving home early again.  They ask if Straub wants to
leave early too, but he says "NO".  Puzzled, They ask him why not and he
says, "Because yesterday, I almost got caught!"
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    Next one was passed on by Kosta (an oldy but a goody):
    -----------------------------------------------------

  David received a parrot for his birthday.  This parrot was fully grown with
a bad attitude and worse vocabulary.  Every other word was an expletive.
Those that weren't expletives were, to say the least, rude.

  David tried hard to change the bird's attitude and was constantly saying
polite words, playing soft music, anything he could think of to try and set
a good example.  Nothing worked.  He yelled at the bird and the bird got
worse.  He shook the bird and the bird got more angry and more rude.

  Finally, in a moment of desperation, David put the parrot in the freezer
for a few moments he heard the bird squawking and kicking and screaming-then
suddenly there was quiet.  David was frightened that he might have actually
hurt the bird and quickly opened the freezer door.  The parrot calmly stepped
out onto David's extended arm and said: "I'm sorry that I might have
offended you with my language and actions and ask for your forgiveness.  I
will endeavour to correct my behaviour."

  David was astounded at the bird's change in attitude, and was just about to
ask what had made such a drastic change, when the parrot continued:
"May I ask what the chicken did?"
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[ End Fri humour ]



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