Friday humour - August 22, 1997

     From Tony at Bluehaze:

      (From Cameron Davidson)
 "Here are some quotes from Terry Pratchett, an author who wrote the
  Discworld series of books.  They are about (or relating to) science, which
  I thought some out there may find amusing ....."

While I'm still confused and uncertain, it's on a much higher plane, d'you
see, and at least I know I'm bewildered about the really fundamental and
important facts of the universe."
Treatle nodded.  "I hadn't looked at it like that," he said, "But you're
absolutely right.  He's really pushed back the boundaries of ignorance."


They both savoured the warm glow of being much more ignorant than ordinary
people, who were only ignorant of ordinary things.


For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things to:
(a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.

                                  --Discworld scientists at work
                                            (Equal Rights)

No matter how fast light travels it finds the darkness has always got there
first, and is waiting for it.
                                              (Reaper Man)

  "What 're quantum mechanics?" "I don't know.  People who repair quantums, I

        In fact, the mere act of opening the box will determine the state of
the cat, although in this case there were three determinate states the cat
could be in: these being Alive, Dead and Bloody Furious.

                                     --Schrodinger's Moggy explained
                                              (Lords and Ladies)

Gravity is a habit that is hard to shake off.


FEBRIUS.  Ephebian Philosopher.  He proved that light travels at about the
same speed as sound, in his famous 'Give us a shout when you see it, OK?'
experiment involving two hills, a lantern with a movable cover over it and
an assistant with a very loud voice.
                                                   (Small Gods)

        The shortest unit of time in the multiverse is the New York Second,
defined as the period of time between the traffic lights turning green and
the cab behind you honking.


        In the Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.
                                                        (Lords and Ladies)
[ End Fri humour ]

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